Apologize to mom...?!?

Question

Oh jeez people I really need help on this one: yesterday, my mom and I got into an argument (about the way I dress [like a metalhead]) and things got out of hand and it ended with me shouting "I HATE YOU" to her. I've never said that to her before!! I don't, won't, and can't hate her. But last night i heard her telling my dad and she was sobbing....How can you apologize for something like that? And also, usually when I have those post-argument talks with her, she's kind of shut-down emotionally...it'll be like talking to a wall. She comes home from work in 3 hours and I still have no idea what to say! I just feel so bad.

Answer 1

Tell her the truth. That you love her and you feel bad about what you said. That may be all that she needs from you.  

Answer 2

oh man you're gonna hate to hear this. you sound like a teen so this is my best shot: your job as a teenager is to rebel against your parents, its the jumping off point for the rest of your life. you won't live with them forever so you (subconsciously) have started to do things, try things, to discover who you are and sometimes you purposely do those things to distance yourself from your parents. i told my mom once, straight to her face without a trace of anger "i hate you." and walked away. as i later learned, we both spent the next few hours crying. as dead as she may seem on the outside, her world will shine with happiness to hear that you said it in a moment of anger. and add that nice part, you said "I don't, won't, and can't hate her" she'll like that. also, just know that you'll have these moments probably until you move out lol so good luck kiddo.

Answer 3

You can apologize but it is something she will never forget and always hear in the back of her mind.

Let her know you learned something from this. Let her know you learned that words hurt because they hurt her and in return you have hurt for saying it. Let her know that from now on you will think before you say something.

Answer 4

i know exactly how you feel, that has happened to me, ive said thiing i didnt mean to my parents and they felt bad, and i felt even worst. tell her sorry for what you said and that you didnt mean it, that yor young ans sometimes you say things you dont mean, say you were just mad at the moment and that you love her

Answer 5

I'll second what Briget said.  just tell her!

And don't make this an occasion for talking about how you dress. Keep this to one subject - your apology.

Answer 6

you must apologize to her. I think she is really hurt.  

Answer 7

Write her a note telling how you feel.  You love her. You hate the situation while you are becoming independent and you and your mom  disagree.  Maybe you will have to agree to disagree on certain small things.  She loves you and only wants the best for you.  Of course, she is crushed - the tiny child she gave life to now hates her. Write how you feel, let her read it over & over and write that you are willing to talk and apologize when she is ready & willing to talk with you. Good Luck.

Answer 8

Show her this question, and explain that as a young adult you need space to express your self in your style, but it does not mean you hate her.

Answer 9

Oh, I used to hate it when my mom and I fought and I would say something like that. Uggg! I feel your pain.

I suggest writing her a note and leaving it for her when she gets home. Perhaps on her bedroom pillow. Telling her how sorry you are for blowing up at her like that. She's your mom and you love her. If you know why you blow up, tell her that too. For example, "I guess you were the final straw in a long line of people getting on me for my look."

Good Luck!!

Answer 10

just be like u didnt mean to say

that "i hate u".

tell her that u dont really hate her it just hurt u that

she hates ur individuality.

Answer 11

Be sincere and apologize, and try to engage in a conversation with no shouting.  Tell her exactly what you told us "Mom,  I love you.  I can't won't, don't, and never could hate you.  I love you very much and know that you just criticize the way I dress b/c you love me and want the best for me."

This should open a larger conversation.  Tell her you are just experessing yourself, and even though she might not understand that, it's and important part of your development into a young adult.

Something like that.

Good luck and please keep us posted!!!

Answer 12

i wish i could tell make my mom feel bad like that

Answer 13

You really should apologize to her. Tell her how you felt about the argument and try to talk.. not shout and just tell her how you feel about the way you dress. She should be understanding if she knows where you are coming from.  

Answer 14

Ooh, tough one. You should say something a little like this:

"Mom, first off, I didn't mean that when I said I hated you. How could I? You're my mom. I guess since you didn't approve of my metalhead dressing, I had to find another way to express my emotions, and that's why I said it. So I'm sorry." And if that doesn't work, tell your dad, and maybe he can help, like tell him to tell her that your really sorry and you didn't mean it. I hope I helped.