Apparently people took my last questiong wrong.?

Question

I do not let my son cry himself to sleep yet, he is almost 2 months and a lot of people have told me to let him cry himself to sleep. I do not let him cry himself to sleep at all, I let him cry in my arms and fight his sleep but I would never leave him alone to cry. I was just wondering when it is a right time to let him sleep in his crib and cry, after is done to comfort him. He will only stay asleep if I am holding him or touching him in some way....

Answer 1

Just like adults, babies and children get into some habits that are hard to break.  With your son, the fact that he will only stay asleep if you are holding him or touching him is going to be OK at 2 months old, but you won't be liking it as much when he is 6 months or 12 months or older.  If your son has been recently fed and well burped plus has a clean diaper and is dressed comfortably for the temperature yet still seems to be crying and fighting sleep, it may very be that he wants to have some space to himself.  Not all babies are cuddlers and enjoy falling asleep while being held.  Eventually, learning to self-soothe himself is going to be a huge benefit when he is older and begins to sleep longer stretches at night.  If his routine is to be held until he sleeps then if he wakes in the night he will cry until you come and hold him so he can go back to sleep.  You can do a bit of experimenting with your son with the understanding that his needs and wants are going to change as well as sometimes you'll find that what he normally finds enjoyable is suddenly making him agitated.  A modified cry it out method can work well for some parents and babies.  This idea involves putting your son down in his own bed and letting him attempt to soothe himself to sleep.  You can do what is most comfortable, but it helps to allow him to cry for 1 minute than returning to his side and soothing him in the way he is normall accustomed.  Try this for several days or even a week then increase the time you go to him to 2 minutes.  If his cries are just whines and sounds of frustration and not cries of distress you can feel confident letting him fuss for several minutes.  He will let you know when he needs you by the tone of his cry.  You can also modify it even further and just put him in his bed, but stay next to his crib, even touching his back or arm while he attempts to go to sleep.  It can be as gradual of a process as you want it to be.  It is natural for us parents to want to make life so pleasant for our babies that they never cry, but unfortunately, babies cry for many reasons, some of which we will never know.  Ultimately you are your son's parent and will need to make the decisions you feel are best for your and your baby.  

Answer 2

The idea of letting a baby cry them self to sleep is midwives tale. Keep holding him and touching in some way in order for him to go to sleep. You are doing the right thing. If relatives and friends are still nagging about letting the baby cry it out, ask them politely that you feel it is right to comfort him and you appreciate them helping.

Since he is still crying in your arms, most likely your baby is hungry and has gas or he wants something to suck on such as a pacifier. If you are breastfeeding, feed him when he gets fussy. If you are sure it is not the case, try a warm bath. Maybe he is sticky under his cute rolls around his neck.

Crying for a long period of time is not good, so always comfort him. My baby is not spoiled and when ever he cries I would give him a bottle, play or swaddle and that always work. Oh yes I forgot, Swaddle him in a blanket if all else fails. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Why babies should never sleep alone: A review

of the co-sleeping controversy in relation to SIDS,

bedsharing and breast feeding

http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/articles... babies should n.pdf

Science Says: Excessive Crying Could Be Harmful to Babies

http://askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.a...

CO-SLEEPING: YES, NO, SOMETIMES?

http://askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000.asp

http://www.naturalchild.org/tine_theveni...

We are born needing. We have need for air, food, sleep, and shelter. We have need for intellectual and physical stimulation. We have a need to be loved and touched.2 If any of these needs goes fully or even partially unattended, the person hurts; and in the case of an emotional wound, the person may spend the rest of his life struggling to soothe the initial hurt.3

Gesell argues that a child passes through predictable stages of development at predictable times.4 Thus what might seem to become a habit, may be simply a gratification of a need.

Hymes, in his book Child under Six, describes a habit as an action which can easily be broken. "If you run into any major difficulty at all," he writes, "Beware! You are probably not dealing with an old outworn habit. The chances are that you are tampering with a human need."5

If the body indicates a need for food, treating it like a habit and disregarding it will not make the hunger go away. Ignoring the sensation of wanting to lie down and sleep will not cure one forever from having to sleep eight hours a day.

But if one is in the habit of putting his keys in his right pocket, there need be only a worn-out pocket to change the habit from putting the keys in right to the left pocket.

The child who seeks his parents' bed at night is expressing a basic need. And this need must take its own time and pace for satisfaction.

The child who is thus allowed to be with his parents will gradually mature to being satisfied with sleeping elsewhere, usually seeking the companionship of another member of the family. Should this child choose to sleep alone, it might do well to be aware that he has not transferred his seeking security from his parents or siblings to an inanimate object. If the child wants to sleep with his parents, it means he needs it. If he crawls into his parents' bed but then is content to be taken to a sibling's bed, it may mean that he was in the habit of going to his elders' bed.

For some strange reason we tend to think that to satisfy a child's need is to make it into an unbreakable habit, where in truth the exact opposite is true.6

When our children develop a "good" habit, one that suits us, we are afraid it is not going to last. But when our children develop a "bad" habit, one that does not suit us, we are afraid it is going to last forever. So many people are afraid that their children will not grow up. We are told to feed them solids with a spoon at three weeks of age, lest babies will never learn to eat solids, let alone with a spoon. We are told to toilet train them when they are one year old or they will never quit wearing diapers. We are told to begin to discipline them at one month, otherwise they will never listen to us. We are told that children must always sleep in their own bed or they will always want to sleep with us. It is commonly believed that babies need to be weaned by the mother. And yet when weaning is left totally up to the child, it happens in a natural, healthy, and relaxed way. At the time the child no longer needs direct physical contact with his mother, then he weans himself from the breast. Likewise, parents' experiences indicate that the healthy child will wean himself in time from the parental bed.

Children should be given the credit that, provided the home environment is healthy, they will mature. As each need is fulfilled at each stage, they will move on and become more mature. (We did. Let's hope.)

It will be found that one phase passes into another, and another, and another. Please trust that in a sound surrounding the child will graduate from each stage of development.

I remember carrying my first infant throughout the day. Then she began to crawl and I no longer needed to hold her so frequently. I remember nursing her fifteen times a day. Now she is weaned and eats and drinks what we eat and drink. I used to take her with me wherever I went. And if I could not take her I stayed home. (Except if she was asleep.) She was happiest with this arrangement. Then when she was about three years old, she took another step toward independence-, she looked forward to the occasional babysitter to read her a bedtime story and put her to bed.

A child who has his needs fulfilled will become an independent, secure person. But independence cannot be forced upon someone.7 It takes time and growing at the individual's own pace. The more secure he is in the knowledge that he can always come back to his parents, the more independent he will become. We will only create

Answer 4

I waited until my girls were almost 5 months before i let them cry themselves to sleep.  But when you first start doing this you might want to go in every 5 to 10 minutes just to check in on them to make sure they are ok...  Now when my girls go down to sleep they will cry for about a minute and then be out and they are now 7 months old!  I dont see anything wrong with letting your child cry themselves to sleep.  It teaches them to soothe themselves.  But i dont recommend you doing it until after they are 4 months old

Answer 5

LOL Ignore people when they try to make you feel like you ignore or neglect your child. Sometimes when you have done all you can and baby is just fussing to be held or is trying to fight sleep letting them cry it out is ok. My daughter gets really ansty when she's really tired and the only way I can get her to calm down is to plop her in her vibrating bouncy seat and let her cry until she passes out(of course understanding that I don't let her get so upset she pukes or screams loudly) You have to break the habit of him needing you near him or you will never get any sleep. It will just have to be a gradual process of laying him down, letting him fuss, and only picking him up when he gets hysterical. Eventually he'll fall asleep and sooner or later he will go longer periods of time without getting so upset. He will also develop ways to sooth himself.

Answer 6

My daughter was like this at 2 months. I would put her in the cot but I would have to hold her hand until she would fall asleep or she would just scream. I picked a good book and only let myself read it when I was settling her so that it didn't seem like such a bad job.

After a few days, I would hold her hand until she was nearly asleep and then leave, then I started only hoding her hand until she wasn't crying etc.

Hope this helps

Answer 7

There is NEVER a right time to let your child cry himself to sleep. I don't even like to cry to sleep, but I do and I am 21. Also cuddle him to sleep if he needs that.

As for other people telling you this...everyone is going to keep telling you different stuff over and over until your kid is an old man. People have their views, but you don't have to do anything they say. So many people have looked down on my parenting styles, but s***w them, I am the mom not them. You need to do you and they can do them.

Answer 8

If at a later age, you choose the cry it out method, you can let him cry himself to sleep in his bed.  But I would not rec commend that until at least 6 months or more.

I myself could not take that route, it still broke my heart at the older ages to hear her scream up in her room alone.  She would get herself so worked up, I couldn't stand it.

There are many ways to teach your child to go to sleep on their own.  Try some searching on the internet.  Give a few a try and see what works best for your son.

I have been surprised though how many people have been told at this young age to put their child to sleep in there bed and don't go in until morning.  Not something I reccommend at all.

Answer 9

put a piece of your clothing near him.  my middle daughter was like that, couldn't sleep with out me near.  someone suggested this to me then and it worked.  they can't really see at that age, but the smell of you brings comfort.

try it.

Answer 10

They ^^^ are right...this is a hot subject, and people will talk about it until they are blue in their face. The best answer...when you are ready. YOU are the babies mother, you know what is best. I waited until 7 months (until I let her cry herself to sleep). Crazily enough, she broke the habit immediately. It was time for me. I was barely sleeping, I knew she wasn't getting the type of sleep she needed...I mentally prepared myself and went for it. It worked out perfect for us. I wouldn't have changed it for anything.

You'll feel it when it is right for you.  

Answer 11

I would read some books about it, or ask your Dr.  This is such a hot button question, I doubt if you'll get an accurate answer here.  Having said that, I waited till 6 months.

Answer 12

I recently started giving this a try. My baby is 5 months old. I change him, hold him and feed him. When I know he is sleepy but just will not close his eyes, I put him in his bed. I pat his back, make sure he is ok and then let him cry. Then I go back to check on him.

It is hard to do, but I knew he needed to rest.

Normally, I hold him and breastfeed and he feels asleep without a fuss at all. The crying to sleep is a very rare thing.

I do think each mom has to do what works for her and her child. You can always pick the baby up and try rocking, etc, if he or she does not go to sleep quickly after being put down.

Good luck and know others share your concerns.

Answer 13

I get it now...sorry.  We had the same problem with our son. He would not go down in his bassinet.  As soon as my hands would leave his body he would freak.  It was so frustrating!  We then moved his swing right next to our bed, let him fall asleep on me, put him in his swing, turned it on, and there he slept for 5 hours.  The first time.  It was amazing.  So I would try something like that.  Good friends of ours put their baby in his carrier and put the carrier in his bassinet.  I think some babies don't like to be laid flat, cause they've been all curled up for the last 9 months in your belly.  So good luck to you!

Answer 14

I also have a 2 month old son. I won't make him cry himself to sleep though. He is the same way. I have to hold him constantly through out the day or he cries and during the day whenever i put him down awake or asleep he starts screaming. Sometimes you have to let them scream when obligations need to be met. I also have a 2 yr old and i can't neglect her needs so he has to scream when i put him down sometimes. But at night we finally found a routine that worked so i wouldn't have to co sleep anymore. I change him into pj's and a clean diaper then i breastfeed him in the dark in his room in the rocking chair and i rock him while he eats then when he passes out i put him on my shoulder and gently pat his back until i get him into his crib and if he wakes up i pat his back while he is in the crib until he is a deep sleep. It works for him and he stays asleep. He sleeps on his stomach too because he refuses to sleep on his back like all the docs recommend.