Apple Pie - please finish the Wax story. I'm crying with laughter?

Question

This is from a few days ago and it's a great story. However, it ended in mid flow and not completed. Pleeeeeeeezzzze Apple Pie, put us out of our misery.

Answer 1

One day, a fat man was walking down the wax isle, when he heard someone shouting

"53... 53... 53..."

the fat man turned around but saw no-one, the voice echoed down the hallway.

At the end of the hallway there was an apple pie, it smelled lovely, but it was cold.

The fat man picked it up to bite a chunk out of it.

His teeth fell out as it was made of wax.

At that moment a socially retarded person came in took the teeth, and started shoting,

"81... 81... 81..."

Answer 2

I Thought i emailed it to you?

Anywho;

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone.

It's a very good conversation starter 'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!'

There is a slight pause.

She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me.

She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, 'Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?'

She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her.

I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.

YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.

While we go through various solutions.

I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor .

Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!

By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counselling for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.

What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend.

It's sooo painful, but I really don't care.

'IT WORKS!! It works !!'

I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.

I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!

So I recklessly shave it off.

Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts.

I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair colour...

Thanks for the public request ☺ I feel honoured