Appropriate bedtime for ten year old?

Question

currently my nearly ten year old goes to bed on a school night at the same time as his 6 year old brother at 8pm. this is practical to put them to bed at the same time, but I allow him to play quietly or read in his room until 9pm. Is this fair? He wants to stay up with us downstairs, but television programmes we watch may not be suitable for him and we need time to ourselves too!

Answer 1

First of all, I find it inappropriate to base your child's bed time routine on your tv programs. Television's roll in our family life is too great as it is. It shouldn't affect your decision which should be based on the child. Just wait 1 hr and watch television when he is in bed if you decide on a out of his room 9pm bedtime. Record your can't be missed program for later if you must. You'll have time to yourselves. Most adults go to bed between 10-11pm. There is still some time to yourselves in there.

It is also appropriate to allow an older child a bit more time awake than a 6 year old. But the decision should really be based on the child. You are basically allowing him to stay up until 9 but aren't allowing him downstairs for selfish reasons that I really don't understand.  

I'm actually a bit surprised at the response you are getting. Making your kid spend an hour alone in their room because you don't want to deal with them seems sad to me. You'll be missing that time when he doesn't want to deal with you in a few years but it won't be recoverable.

Answer 2

I feel that this is very appropriate.  My son is almost 10 and he has a bed time of 9:00.  He often goes to his room around 8:30 after he does his night-time rituals, potty, teeth brushed, etc.  He will watch tv quietly until 9, then its lights out.

My 13 year old has a bedtime of 10:00.  This just changed or her, now that she is a teenager.  Up until then it has also been 9:00.

You are very right that you and you husband need some alone time.  I really wouldn't want to stay up much later than that to have alone time, since I am approaching 40, I get tired much sooner.  7:30 really sounds like a good bedtime for me, but it isn't fair to the kids.

Answer 3

lol! We have that same problem at home. He does go upstairs and plays the PS3 until 9. If we are watching something he cant. But some nights we are not and he can come chill for a little bit with us.

Answer 4

I think it's fair.  I put all of my boys to bed around 9:00.  I need to have a bit of time to myself before I go to bed and I know they need the sleep, even if they think they could manage on less.

Answer 5

I put all of our kids to bed at 9pm (13, 10, 6, 3) The older ones can read in bed for a while if they want...they usually do til about 9:30. My 10 year old would have a cow if I made her go to bed at 8....it's still daylight out! They play outside (if it's nice) til about 8:45 or so...

Answer 6

I think that 9:00 is a fair bedtime, but I also think your older child should be allowed to have some time alone with you after his little brother goes to bed.  That will be even more important as he gets older, because it gives him a chance to privately talk to you about "big boy" things after his little brother is sleeping.

I can understand the need for some adult time, but how about letting him stay downstairs with you until 8:30, so he at least has a half hour with you before retreating to his room?

Answer 7

I say 9pm is a good bedtime for that age.  8pm for the 6 year old is good too.  

I think you're doing just fine.  He doesn't need to be up watching TV, he can find other things to do.

Good for you!!

Answer 8

a ten year old should go to bed on  schoolnights at 8:00 and reand from 8 to8:30.on friday let stay up as long as he wants(in his room).on saturday make him go to bed at 9:30.and on sunday 8:00-8:30.(unless monday's hoilday on sunday let him stay up as long as he likes)

Answer 9

what if you picked a couple nights a week that he can stay up with your guys, maybe on Monday and Thursday he can "hang" with his parents until 9.  That seems like a fair comprimise on both ends to me.  Good luck

Answer 10

Some parents think it's ok to put all the kids to bed at the same time, but some kids require more sleep than others. This is what I did when my kids were young. The ones that was younger than 8 went to bed about 7:30 pm. Not counting a baby. Then I went by how their grades were in school.If their grades were good then they got to stay up alittle later if not then they went to bed no later than 9pm. Give it a try and you'll see that it works out good.

Answer 11

My 10 and 6 yrs old boys sleeps at 10pm.  As long as they can easily wake up, and I mean EASILY wake up, that is, I call their name just once in the morning, not twice then, the next night they can sleep much later..  If not, they go to sleep at 930pm which is hardly ever..

Answer 12

I think that what you are doing is great. I agree with you on needed time to yourself. All parents do! What about for his 11th or 12th birthday he can go to bed at 9. Until then 8 is a good time.

Answer 13

8pm sounds a little bit early for a 10 year old to me. I think 9pm or even 9:30 is more reasonable.

Being stuck in his room for an hour every night sounds not-so-fun, but I guess kid's rooms these days have lots of things to do so it's probably not so bad - and it also gives him time to wind down before bedtime.

Answer 14

I think what you are doing is just fine if it works for your family then stick with it.  My son is 6 and he goes to bed at 8:30.  Different parents have different opinions on what time certain aged children should be in bed so I would just stick with whatever works for your family and if he isn't complaining about the time or anything then I would leave it as is for now.

Answer 15

9.30...when POPEYES finished'?

Answer 16

I think you are doing the right thing. Stick to your guns, I wish I had.

Answer 17

He should stay in his room and play esp if you're watching television shows not suitable for children. This is fair and it's the right thing to do. You can also play a game or two as a family so he won't think his parents don't want to spend time with him or ask him about his day.

Answer 18

9:00 is a good time for your child to go to sleep

Answer 19

My 11 year old goes to bed at 9:30.

Answer 20

When I was 10 my bedtime was 830. So he's lucky to get to stay up till 9. It's quite fair and I think you are definitely a great mom for allowing him playtime at night, and giving yourself and your husband some OUR time. Is he ready to go to bed when you tell him it's time to go to bed, and is he easy to wake up in the morning. I definitley wouldn't let him stay up later than 9 at night, but make sure he's getting enough rest.

Answer 21

I think it's excellent.  Far too many children are not getting proper rest.  Also, the quiet time you are allowing him helps him to relax and the reading is beneficial for obvious reasons.

Give yourself a pat on the back. I think you've made a wise choice.