Are Affairs Okay For Non-Married People?

Question

I'm 13, and I'm good mates with a 16 year old lad who has a girlfriend. We both go to army cadets, and he's a Sergeant.

Recently, the club finished early at quarter past nine instead of half nine and some of us went outside. He asked me for a hug, so i did, but then our faces got closer and he kissed me.

It was amazing but he's got a girlfriend and he's asking me now not to tell her or anyone else because of a past incident.

I don't like his behaviour at all, but i just can't help myself.

Is it possible he might lose his status as a Sergeant if the commanding officer finds out?

He now wants to take me on a date and I need answers .. quick!

Answer 1

this is wrong on so many different levels.

Answer 2

This is wrong on several levels, but to answer you question first, no, it is not OK to have an "affair" if you are in any type of monogamous relationship - married or otherwise. Now, on to the other reasons this is not a good idea:

1. He's too old for you. There is a world of difference in 13 and 16, not so much for 26 and 29. Three years at your age is huge, and he has no business even approaching you in this manner.

2. You are not old enough. If you "can't help yourself" then you are too young for a relationship. One of the hallmarks of maturity is being able to control impulse behavior - especially for a girl.

3. Any relationship of value is built on trust. Obviously, he cannot be trusted because he is willing to hide things from his current girlfriend, and to go out on her behind her back. If you form a relationship with him, you can be assured he will do the same to you. And he's a liar, and liars do not make good mates of any kind. He is lying to his girlfriend, and will lie to you as well.

4. Yes, he could get into a lot of trouble. Relationships between higher and lower ranks is frowned upon for several reasons - which you should already know, and if not, should read your manual to find out why, and what punishments can be meted out to him AND to you!

Answer 3

Don't do it. For starters he is too old for you. Secondly he should know better. Thirdly if he is cheating on his current girlfriend then he is likely to cheat on you one day.

Answer 4

sorry miss i know it will hurt u but this is d fact that he already have a girlfriend ..... he is also a kid like u n his conscience is also less developed.plz plz plz dont make him a cheater it will hurt his gf n him n ultimately it will hurt u... plz wait tell him that u both r good frnds n will remain good frnds

N WAIT TILL HE BREAK UP WITH THAT girl.. then u can foster ur relationship with him....  

Answer 5

dont condone it cheating destroyed my family split it in 6 ways... there are loads o f other guys out there u shudnt have to worry about that at your age and hes too old he shouldnt be doing that to a 13 year old! if he went ne further he would get locked up. regardless cheating is disgusting abuse of trust id shun the person has no respect for the other girl.

this is coming from a guy

Answer 6

Not Okay because someone is going to end up getting really hurt.

Answer 7

don't agree to it. he sounds like a total **** if hes already cheating on his current girlfriend then hes going to cheat on you plus he is a lot older then you.  

Answer 8

its fine,enjoy life at that age your not going to get married. its better to cheat while your young and experince different people so you know whats right for you.