Are Germans kind of standoffish and unfriendly or are they big on hospitality?

Question

Do Germans usually appear rather cold at first and take a long time to warm up and befriend new people or are they very welcoming? What do you think? (if you have traveled in Germany or are from Germany).

Answer 1

In general.....The further North you go in Germany the more formal/standoffish they are in professional or casual relationship. Though the Frankfurt area was the most standoffish region for me. However many of the poeple are warm and welcoming but more likely in Bavaria than in Hamburg. Though in eight years of living/being stationed there, I never had a problem with the Germans...and I have an "adoptive" family in Hamburg that treated me very well.

Answer 2

I live in Germany, and I find it takes a very long while for the people to warm up and befriend new people.  I'm still shocked about the length of time it takes for many of them to make up their mind about a person.  

A big mistake to make is to judge the German people as cruel, unkind, or inhospitable, because they don't take to you right away.  

I remember I was working in a hospital.  There was this older caretaker who really looked like he was out of the n**i era.  He said NOTHING to me for four months.  I greeted him by name, smiled....but received nothing but coldness.  He would watch my work with a menacing, intimidating and evil eye.  I hated crossing his way.  One day, I was pressed for time...had to pick up the kids...and it was supply day...and wash day...a very bad day for me... and it would have taken me at least 20 extra minutes to put everything away....I wasn't going to make it...CURSES!!!  I finished my work, and ran into the supply room and to my surprise everything had been put away nice and neatly.  I couldn't believe it!

The next day, I asked him if he did this...and with downcast eyes and a red face and I got my first word out of him....'Ja'.

He really didn't have a lot to say to me after this incident, but he wasn't mean and didn't stare at me evilly anymore.

This example was the first of three similar incidences I had with the German people.  They seem to be very skeptical of people at first, but they can be won over.  

So if you are visiting Germany and people don't seem friendly or hospitable...well...you've just got to spend more time with them.  But as tourists, of course, people don't get the opportunity to hang around long enough to find out how nice Germans can be.

All of all, I find that Germans can be pretty friendly, especially those who speak English and the younger generation.  Doesn't hurt to know a little German if you are going to do some travelling.

Answer 3

> Only a petty few do not want you there and they are not worth your time nor any one else's either.

Wulf, that's worth one thumb up. Sorry I can't give you more. But I as a German feel the same way, and that's exactly what the majority of us thinks about those "petty few".

Answer 4

I lIve in Germany and since ive been here everybody has been really welcoming and Ive made lots of friends.  At first it was hard as i didn't understand the language at all, I thought everybody was angry or arguing all the time.  When i started to understand more German i realized that that wasn't the case at all.  The tone of voice is generally harder and it just sounds that way. "please" and "thank you" are not used as much as either, but its not that the people are rude its just different to what we know.

Answer 5

The Germans I know aren't big on ethnic sterotypes.  Neither am I, as a matter of fact.

Answer 6

I live in the middle of Germany, but I think all Germans are nice people.

Answer 7

Well, I don't want to generalize it too much, but I would say, for most Germans, it takes some time to make friends. In general, many of them will be polite (erm... the German version of politeness of course, so don't expect them to be very joyful and complimenting you all the time or so ;-) ) from the beginning, but won't tell you very much about private details or invite you at their home.

However, if you form a friendship after a while, you'll propably have a friend for live.

Greets from Germany

Answer 8

Well, I think you really can't give a general answer to that question. It depends on the person and what country you are comparing Germany to.

I'm a German student and I've got the impression that most German students and other young people befriend new people very easily. So it depends on the age and the social background, but I can image that, as a whole, people in Germany are maybe a little more reserved than people from other European nations and don't approach new people quite as easily.

Answer 9

My friend lives in Amerika and she says that it's easy to make 'friends' there but this friendships usually don't last long and there's no contact anymore when 'friends' move or they don't see each other for a while...it's so easy to make new friends in Amerika...! When my friend moved to Amerika I didn't saw her for 10 years but we keept in touch all the time...and it's the same with all the other German friends. But it's a bit the same in other European countries...the English are much more reserved than the German and in Italy it's easy to make friends but you just rarely are allowed to visit people in their houses/flats...

Answer 10

My wife, that lived in Germany for about 12 years till the age of 22 had to go back to Germany in 2007 for about 10 days.  She's 40 now and she said that the people she dealt with throughout the day were for the most part unpleasant.  She said that it seemed that people were annoyed as if they were being inconvenienced by her presence.  

She was so glad to be back in the states and said that she'd never complain about people here again.  She says she has no desire to back there again.  She was just in one city for most of her visit, but, it was her hometown and she was definitely turned off from the experience.

Answer 11

I lived there and go there almost every year for pushing twenty years and I have NEVER had a problem meeting people and have MORE friends in Germany than I do actively in the USA!

To me they have a more sense of loyalty and honor among friends and are not so fake and worried about material things so much as we are here. Sure there are things I love about the US thats why I still live here, but Germany is a second home to me because of the hospitality of the people there. I was welcomed open armed and felt like family. I have even had two German Girl Friends!

So unless you are rude or do something real odd I doubt you will have any problems. IF you get stared a lot at and treated standoffish in the USA then you may there too then, but if you do not then you should have no problem for they are pretty much like us, open and friendly to outsiders in whole.

Only a petty few do not want you there and they are not worth your time nor any one else's either.

Go and have fun and learn some German so you can understand things!

@Alwin Danke!