Are My Two Poems Any Good?!?

Question

You came in to my life, And turned it all around,

I cried so bad, I was so sad,

You never made a sound.

And now you say you're leaving- to start somewhere anew,

Please don't go, I love you so,

I'd rather stay with you.

You're like my guardian angel, But you just don't have a clue,

My feelings for you grow stronger now, I'm feeling very blue.

And this to you- a last goodbye, I wish you lots of luck.

Please dont go, I love you so, and my life is EMPTY without you.

Why do things turn out like this, I hate my life so much. You tell me to be smart; stay strong. I can't- that's out of touch.

When you're here the pain is gone, and when you're gone it's back. I wish you were just here right now, to put my life on track.

I think about you everyday, You're always in my heart. Just like the friend i never had, You twinkle like a star. And when i miss you i close my eyes, i see your smiling face. I hear your voice, but you're not there. You're in a better place.

Whatcha think?

Answer 1

This is about taking the good

but suffering the bad

The good part have the good emotions like

love

You came in my life

and turned it around

The bad times you would be sad

depressed.

The person is leaving so she can start over

friendship and love relationships are not to be played with

because someone can get their heart broken

and their life torn upside down

The line when you are here the pain is gone

but when she is gone the pain is back

This means you are happy when she is there

but you arent if she is gone.

Answer 2

the first one not so good !! but the second WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW !!! well done it really touched my heart =)

Answer 3

I like it a lot. It also maked sense and it rhymed too. This was my best ever so far. I would give this score an A++. It was PERFECT!!!! ♥

Answer 4

Set a melody to this and make it a love song, it'll make lots more money than as a poem. Nicely written, in good simple terms, expressing one major emotion .... I think you've got something here for some trembly-voiced emo-laden chick singer to package in a breathy tone over a thin piano or gently strummed guitar. Good luck.

Answer 5

they are okay, but the second poem is a bit hard to read... you should set it out like my poem:

TEARS FROM WITHIN:

Tryin to hide, it’s not working as planned,

Seeing my life, finding it hard to stand,

For I never thought I’d see the day,

I let a guy do it that way.

I felt the warmth, of his hand,

Against my ribs, my neck, my hand.

Feeling the breath ripped from inside,

I had an attack, I couldn’t hide.

I was shaking, couldn’t stay steady,

What have I done, I wasn’t ready.

Days went by, not seeing the guy,

I realise now, the reason why.

He was ashamed, I started to cry.

Three years went on, I still wonder why,

He never came back, to say goodbye.

Hope this helps, xox Jen xox

Answer 6

yes, i like it

Answer 7

ummm ......

i have written better poems than this & i'm only 12.

sorry . . .

but i like the second one :)