Are Promise Rings a Good Idea?

Question

I've known this boy for about 2 years now. He's my best friend and we've dated a couple times, but there's one big issue. Our age difference prevents us from being together. I'm 16 and he's 21. He's told me I'm his soul mate on several occasions, and that we are perfect for eachother. We were thinking about promise rings. He wants to promise me that I can have him when I turn 18. That we will give being together a fair shot then because we can't now. I am aware that promise rings are pre-engagment rings, but I was also under the impression that they could be used to make any promise to someone you care about. Is that true? Do you think in my situation promise rings are a good idea?

Answer 1

It may be a good idea. But the age difference may be frowned upon also. But if you get the promise rings then people will know you truly care about each other. It may clear some air.

And yes, promise rings can be used as a promise to each other to be together eternally - they are called eternity rings (well they are in the U.K)

Answer 2

A promise ring is a token of affection commonly given by teenagers who are going steady.  I would highly suspect any one over the age of 17 who even suggests exchanging promise rings.  This young man is an adult.  He was an adult when you became friends two years ago, when you were only 14 years old.  

Instead of asking this question here, is there anyone else you could talk to about this?  Someone who would not try to get the two of you into trouble, but who is older?  Just wondering.

Answer 3

The fact that you're dating right now is illegal.  I do not think promise rings are a good idea.

Not only in your situation, but promise rings are often given in relationships where the parties are completely immature and they wind up being a mockery.

Sorry, but I would wait.  

Answer 4

My sister had a similar situation, she was waaayyy too young to have been dating a 19 year old, and actually, a "well intentioned" (code for nosey) person called the police on us (I was her chaperone when they went out, and I was 21 at the time) The police came up to me, and started trying to make a big deal out of things, and I told him, we are all hanging out, it's not like they are having s*x. He cooled down a bit. Seriously, did he think we would let them do that? And if we did, would we be flaunting it in front of him?

My sister and the older guy broke it off later (they got bored of each other) and they never did have s*x, so no one can accuse him of "statutory rape" (No rape if there's no s*x, right?)

While a LOT of people will frown upon a 16 year old dating a 21 year year old, as long as you guys don't have any sexual relationships, he'll be fine. The famous people have done it (Didn't Lindsay date Will Valde-whatever-his-name-is when she was still 17 and he was 28?

Nobody could say anything about it, cause they were "not" having s*x till after she turned 18. Smart)

Promise rings can be given to symbolize ANY kind of promise, whether it be a personal promise to God, to remain chaste until marriage, a promise to propose when both are mature, a promise to parents to stay "clean" after rehab... Anything.

The promise ring itself, is used to remind the person wearing it of the promise that was made. So, if you want to make a promise to each other to wait till you turn 18 to be together, then do it. Maybe you can get him a simple band (see one's at walmart) to represent a promise you make to him. Just, don't get anything that looks too much like an engagement ring, unless you are actually promising to get married later... I think it's a little premature, in your case.

Just be careful, not to let things fall into the illegal category, cause if someone with bad intentions finds out, he'll be the one paying.

Good Luck!

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Him:

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(You could engrave them with your 18th birthday date and the other person's name:

Something like :

1/1/2010- To John (Yours)

1/1/2010- To Jane (His)

Something like that to represent your promise...

Answer 5

nope

Answer 6

That's called statutory rape. If you truly care about this guy, then I would keep this under the radar as much as possible.