Are Sirens really Nautical Angels of Death?

Question

Donning a beautiful Blonde Wig, Coconut Bra, Sea Shells Necklace and the bottom half of a big Tuna Fish I paid this brainless Trollop a Hundred Knicker to dress up as a Mermaid and sit on a rock in Torquay.

I found her in a Greggs bakery, pulling a face and complaining about Cheese and Onion Pasties or something, ah! Methinks, a splendid opportunity to conduct an experiment as it were, so a quick flash of my cash and a toothy smile, she agreed to indulge me.

And so, I explained to her I wanted her to sing like a Mermaid, and see if any Ships or other Boats come crashing at the seductive intonements omitting from her Aqautic wailings.

She was Game enough I'll say, and cut a pretty figure too. Like Daryl Hannah! Woof! Watchit Sir! Brrrrrrrrrrrr! Heh.

After ten minutes of going "Woooooooooh! Arwoooooooooo!" Nothing happened, I saw a couple of Trawlers, they just went by without so much as a Kiss-my-Ar*e! A couple of Small Fishing Boats sauntered by, but again nothing, just these Fishermen farting about with Cockles and Mussels.

"'Ere! Oi've had enaff of this, it's a load orf Bollacks!" The makeshift Mermaid moaned.

Anyway, I had to cough up the money as promised and deduced that Sirens cannot wreck a ship!

Not unless it's a bloody big Squid or something. But that's another tale in itself.

Answer 1

Well lets look at it in this way... There are Egyptians, Chinese, and Greek and Roman, And middle east historians and Mythological writers that has stated the the Voices of Sirens (Mermaids) Did drive sailor and fishermen to distraction... And many of them when traversing certain used wax ear plugs to prevent men from jumping into the sea to their death by being consumed by merpeople.......... Now many of these historical and mythological fact can be read at your local library or via your computers...... Now There are ton of historical writers that say these things are true... And with-out incidents to back these writers up their writing would cease to exist and a multitude of readers would pay no attention to Plato, Homer, And hundred of other that we are taught about in our schools today.............. And yes everyone of them wrote about the dangers of merpeople............. And I don't believe that humans voices can imitate the pitch of mermaids voices because they are two separate species..............

Answer 2

Darling, your trollop was everything they went to sea to get away from. Rest assured results are very different with the real thing. x

Answer 3

So you think I am "brainless trollop" eh?  Oh and I did cause a ship to crash when  flashed them.

Answer 4

You just cant trust a siren anymore, though it beats me why you got an Essex one in the first place. As good as Sindy is in the s**y department, she is not 100% in the ship wrecking department. No, what you needed was a Yorkshire siren, something that looks like Nora Batty, with that disrobed and standing on a rock and bellowing 'Eyeeeup me duck, thou's rheyt gradely', the average ships captain would rather put his ship on the rocks than endure that hypnotic sight.