Are adopted children better off knowing that they r adopted? should they b told?

Question

would they live a better life not knowing?

*this is help on home work*

thanks

Answer 1

it better to tell them if there young and if they have brothers or sisters that are yours then don't tell them there adopted because they will be teased so tell them when there adults.but never tell a teenager that he/she is adopted because they might commit suicide studies show that a lot of teenagers that are adopted commit suicide because of their growth hormones. its true all the things that i am saying

Answer 2

then need to be told... it does not need to be the central issue of their life (unless they feel it needs to be)  but you want to know where you came from

Answer 3

I have listened and read many of the answers here, from many different opinions, and have talked to many people who were adopted.  It seems the ones who knew from before they could remember seemed to fair much better than those who found out later.  I even saw one woman who was close to retirement age, and in her parents papers when they died, she found out she was adopted, and was in total shock.  

I also think it's better for kids to be adopted VERY young, and told honestly about their adoption than to be lost into the foster care system and adopted later, or aged out of the system.

Answer 4

Yes, they definetly have the right to know!

Chances are, even if their adoptive parents don't tell them, members of their family and family friends WILL know and they'll eventually find out anyways, and they'll feel betrayed by their parents. I've never understood why some parents let everyone else in the family about the adoption EXCEPT for the adoptee.

Answer 5

As a parent of adopted children, I fell it is very important to tell the child(ren) from a young age that they are adopted. I do this 1. Because otherwise I would feel like I was lying 2. If I told them at an older age, they might rebel.

We currently have one adopted child and are in the process of adopting triplets.

Answer 6

They are better off knowing they are adopted but also knowing tht they have 2 parents and tht the other parent couldnt handle a child right now let it b known tht they r loved and are very special b/c they get 2 mommys!!!

Answer 7

Yes

Answer 8

Yes they should definitely know. Just think, what if when they are older their birth mother or father decide to try to get in contact with them? Can you imagine how betrayed they would feel, they would probably never trust you again! You should always be honest with your children, just as you expect them to be honest with you.

Answer 9

I was told at a very young age that I was adopted. My parents never tried to hide it, my adoption papers were taped in the front of my baby book. I grew up with the knowledge and assumed that everyone else knew. My mom had told me that a classmate of mine was also adopted. When I was in 5th grade we had a show and tell and I took my adoption papers. During the time I announced that Darren was also adopted. His parents had never told him, and he was angry. He confronted his parents who called mine. It was a big hairy ordeal. Darren never forgave me or his parents. He moved out when he was 16, and never came around this area again. He used to beat me up on the playground, saying I ruined his life. Seems to me his parents ruined his by lying. If some kid in a small town knows the family secret, as did half the town, surely they couldnt expect to keep it secret forever.

Answer 10

Of course they should be told. They are human beings and deserve the right to know the truth about their own life!

Answer 11

Yes, They should be told ! Why live a life of lies.

Answer 12

Yes...

Answer 13

They should be told at anb early age, my mom an dad never told my brother he was adopted by my dad, we where snooping and found his adoption papers, he was 13... he did a complete turn around.. he was resentful towards both parents and started messing up in school and even got addicted to meth.  He didnt forgive our dad until about 5 years ago when he was about 22.

Answer 14

Yes, they are better off knowing. They should know. Not telling them would be a mistake.

A good AP should RAISE their child to know they were adopted. It needs to be done slowly in terms that the child can understand and and in a positive way. Better yet is a continued relationship with the natural mother/family if possible.

This question is asked a lot and it baffles me how some parts of society continue to treat adoption like it's some kind of disease. This is 2008 for heaven's sake. We're in a time where most anything is accepted. Perhaps when/if all the states stop treating OBC's as a secret then perhaps the stigma will stop.

Answer 15

Heck yes they should know.

Answer 16

Would you respect and trust your parents ever again if they, the very people who are supposed to back you up in the hardest times lied about your entire life? I think not.

I was adopted at 5 months, before that i was in foster care and before that I was with an adoptive family that abused me. My parents didn't tell me about this and I read it in my dad's diary because I was snooping to find out details and I felt so betrayed by them. Hiding things and lying is not protecting, it just creates rifts between people.

However, I always knew I was adopted though, my parents always talked about the fact I was, so at least I understood that. I can't imagine finding out when I was older, that would be horrific, i would have probably tried to kill myself knowing me.

Answer 17

Secrets and lies are never a good option, particularly within a family.  This is a secret that usually gets discovered, anyway, and is particularly damaging. Google the term "late discovery adoptee" to find out more about the problems caused when someone finds out later rather than earlier that he or she is adopted.  

Every human being has a right to his or her own truth.

Answer 18

Adopted children should definitely should be told from a young age. It is shocking to find out when you are older that you are adopted. I am adopted, and have known since I was born. I can't imagine finding out now that I'm grown. I've heard of parents not telling their children until their children are grown, and it being too much for the child to handle- it seemed like the parents had been lying to them for years. Knowing that you're adopted isn't bad at all. Half the time I forget that I am! I'm so glad that I knew from the time I was little though.

Best wishes!

Answer 19

Of course they should know.  A person has the right to know this kind of thing about their own origins.

More than that, by keeping it a secret, the message you're sending is that, as an adopted child, the kid is automatically "less than" or should feel ashamed.  By acknowledging the truth, you're saying it's ok, and nothing to be ashamed of, and, at the same time, you're cutting off the possibility of some other person telling the kid when they're older in an inappropriate way.

Answer 20

Yes they should be told.

It would be horrible growing up thinking your parents were your actual parents and then one day having it slip. That would hurt so bad...

I was adopted by my Dad. I KNEW I had a different dad but I didn't meet him until I was 16. I'm really happy that i'm adopted because knowing that someone cares THAT much about me is awesome.