Are adoptees supposed to feel 'bitter' or angry, upset, etc, about adoption?

Question

I don't think bitter was the right word, but you get what I mean. I've just been reading a lot of posts from some adoptees on here and they say some pretty far out (to me) things about adoption. Is this an expectation now that adoptees should feel like something is missing in their lives, or be angry?

I'm just asking because I'm an adoptee, and to me it's just the way things are. I've never even thought of myself as an 'adoptee' really, it's just who I am.

Just wondering, thanks all!

Answer 1

I think to often adoptees look to others as to how to feel.  Often times, as only 2% of people are adopted, they look to non-adopted members of society, who do not know what being adopted is like, to guage how to feel.  Naturally, when you see adoptees who have deviated from repeating the things society says about adoption (the usual cliches etc.), whether they are saying good things, or bad things about adoption, it can be surprising.

However you feel is however you feel.  Period.  I personally never had my own feelings on adoption, I said what everyone else said because so many people were saying it, it must be right.  It wasn't until recently that I gave myself permission to form my own opinion and sometimes it sounds "negative" to others.  It doesn't matter to me what anyone else thinks of it; I'm the one who is adopted, right?  :-)