Are adoptive parents always able to provide a better material life or is it just a stereotype?

Question

Thinking of infant adoptions only....

There seems to be a stereotype that adoptive parents are wealthy and can provide a better life (in a material way) than birthpartents. Is this sterotype true? I an interested in hearing from adoptees who were reunited with their natural relations.

Thank you for sharing.

Answer 1

Mine was 100% in reverse.

Very weathy natural family.

Lower-middle class adopters.

Just a little extra salt in the wound.

Answer 2

Its not so much a matter of material comfort as it is a matter of stability and constancy. Children need a stable, safe, and comfortable home and family, not necessarily a well to do one.  Just as it is with "natural" families, rich parent does not mean good parent!!!

Answer 3

Absolutely untrue.My husband and I adopted our son when we were not wealthy at all. What we DID have to offer was unlimited love and commitment. He was a wanted child. His own mother was much older than us and did love him. We have always stressed this to him. She did not want to give him up but circumstances forced her to make the choice she did.

   If he chooses to make contact with her or his father, he will have my unconditional support. So far (he is 39) he has not chosen to do so.

Answer 4

Mine were about equal when it came to money. Maybe my adoptive parents had a little more because they were a two income household but both have 3 bedroom houses in typical suburban areas, nice cars, just average middle class.

However, my natural mother is a college graduate but neither of my adoptive parents went to college and neither did I.

As far as a better life - my natural mother could have provided the better life - I KNOW THAT WITHOUT A DOUBT.

Answer 5

My adoptive parents weren't financially wealthy, and I didn't have expensive holiday's, ponies, or any other amount of ridiculous materialistic gain.

In my case, my parents were emotionally equipped, and provided a wealth of mental stability, love and affection, which are things that would have been missing should I have stayed with my biological parents.

Answer 6

Hello Tobit, I believe that any mother birth or adoptive could provide a good loving and stable home for a child, but it is the circumstances that leads to giving the child up that determines who can give a child the best that life has to offer. like take for instance the foster to adopt program, it was developed so that the birth parents could have that chance to fix the situation and work things out with the courts through education and compliance to be able to take proper care of there child, while the foster family acts as a surrogate until such time the birth parents get there act together. with adoption it is another scenario all together, the birth mother is the one who picks the family that they feel could provide the kind of life that they themselves cant at that present time, maybe one reason could be that they birth mother was way to young, or another that has already two or three children and the father has left leaving her to foot all the financials and forced to live off the streets and welfare and don't want to bring another Innocent life into that world. I am not saying that adoptive families are rich by no means, my husband and i are not rich but we believe we could care for a child just as well as the next person can.

Answer 7

that is totally a stereotype- when we adopted our 2 children- (as infants, by the way)  we made it very clear that we were far from wealthy- our children's birth mom's obviously thought we had "more" than she had- however that was not the reason that they placed their children in our homes , because if it was she certainly could have found a family that made more money than we did- My son is actually visiting his birth family right now-

Answer 8

Naw,  and it's not always a "material" decision.

Answer 9

Thats not why we chose adoption.  After what we will have to pay to adopt a baby I am worried if we can afford the simple things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 10

My husband was adopted- his parents certainly weren't wealthy by any means, but I suppose if you consider that his birthmother was a single college student then I suppose technichally the answer for him is 'yes'.  But my point to add was that his adoptive parents did not have a ton of money, they were college students themselves.   I would say that yes, that stereotype would MOST generally be true, but of course none ALWAYS are.

As for my own story, the people that adopted my baby have a LOT more money than I do, if I were to be reunited with her today.  They are much better off financially than my husband and I will ever be.

Answer 11

Given that finances are one of the main reasons given for relinquishing a child for adoption, and given the fees associated with adopting a child through a private agencies, I would say -- yes.  All adoptive parents are not wealthy, but many can pay their bills, own a home and put their children through college.   Birthparents are usually in a crisis time of their lives, which usually includes not being where they wanna be financially, and many are struggling.  I have worked with hundreds of birthmothers, and most say they want a family who is financially stable, but few want a really wealthy family.

Answer 12

speaking of material aspects of adoption ONLY, yes, my adoptive parents had more money and were able to buy me more things than my mother at the time of my surrender.

I could give a sheet about getting a pony for christmas compared to losing my mother.

Answer 13

With me yes, my bmother is on a benifit because she is too ill to work. She could not support me as well.

It might be different with other families.

Answer 14

It's a stereotype, but doesn't necessarily pan out in real life.  My natural parents had enough money, so that wasn't an issue.  It was due to other severe occurrences (not abuse or neglect) that they became unable to care for me.

My adoptive parents did not make much money.  We lived in a small apartment where I slept on a cot.  We had one older car and my father took public transit to work.  But, things were comfortable enough.  We had enough food and the bills got paid.  Things got better as time went on, but they were certainly never rich.  

I know other adopted people with similar situations.