Are all men scared of marriage? And why?

Question

i read a few answers on another questions asked. BUT heres my situation: i have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. and since about 3 years ago, we've talked about getting married. He's said flat out "i can't wait to marry you, i love you so much, i want to spend the rest of my life with you".... yada yada yada. I moved in with him about 5 months ago. Well Lately i keep mentioning how i'de really like another promise ring or band of some sort, (because my last one got stolen), and when i confronted him on why he hadn't invested the 200 dollars he did in a stereo system for my car that i dint even really want into a ring that i would have absolutely loved...he replied "because when i think of a ring i just think of like, marriage." so what the heck is going on?!

so then i confront him honestly, and i ask him... "are you scared to marry me?" and his reply is " yeah every guys scared to get married."

Is this true. Would most guys say they want to marry you but when it comes to their actions, they completely show the opposite...or is my boyfriend just being an A$$hole and not realizing that the reason i'm still here isnt cuz he wants to marry me but because hes scared he wont find anyone else?

Answer 1

Men get comfortable in a relationship and feel that they don't need to progress it any further.  If it ain't broke don't fix it deal.  But I am scared of marriage after how I was treated by my ex.  I was with her for eight years and she comes to tell me how she wasn't really who she really is during our relationship.  She just could not go on faking it anymore.  Luckily I never did marry her since it probably would have gotten worse.  That experience scares me to trust or make a commitment to anyone again, but I know I will let my guard down again sometime and want to get married and be committed for the rest of my life.  To leave you on a bad note I have had some rude friends say why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?

Answer 2

Its all about commitment. Funny thing some men get married and still have commitment issues anyhow.

Answer 3

Good men always get a bad rep here. Don't think b/c you hear bad stories about men here means they are ALL that way. I know plenty of good men. Maybe he isnt ready. Are you pressuring him? And some men are just not ready. Would you rather him marry you and leave you b/c he wasn't ready?

Good men are out there. If it were easy to find them then every woman would have one and some wouldn't know how to treat one. So it sounds like he wants to live his life. Nothing's wrong with that but if you two want different things then move on.  

Answer 4

Most men are scared to settle down, and it doesnt mean the dont love u they just arnt ready to make that huge comitment. though he should not have told u he wanted to.  and yeah it's very normal. hope all goes well

Answer 5

Well my husband wanted to be married all his life. I can't even say that. Everyone has their own worries. When it comes to marriage we should all be concerned that we are marrying the 'right one'. The fact that he and you are having such a unequal desire does concern me to whether marriage is the best course. I had a few men what to marry me prior and I thought "this could be it" but somehow when the real topic came up, someone got scared, usually me. But when I met my man we were both sure, very sure. The I realized, that's how it suppose to be. We are both Christians and prayed for God to make it clear, and believe me it was all to clear.

But to stay on your story, you both have had long enough time to know. I'm sorry to say, but it sounds like a plain old copout!

I hope you both don't waste any more time either way. Besides sometimes, when someone sees they say lose the best thing they ever had, they straighten up. But if he doesn't then you need someone who does love you that strongly.

Hope this helps, good luck and be blessed.

Answer 6

only immature ones

Answer 7

I'm personally not afraid of marriage. I'm actually looking forward to sharing my life with that one special female. Some guys are just immature and don't understand the significance of it. So to answer your question not all guys are like that. I'm basically speaking for myself and all of the other few good men out there.

Answer 8

Really what is the reason to get married? If you truly LOVE someone marriage is NOT needed.  

Answer 9

there are alot of men out there that do want to get married to the right person. they want to make sure 100 % that person is marriage material and that they wont get a divorce. thats why men sometimes take their time to get to know a woman.

some men are (and rightuflly so) are scared to get married. the divorce laws in this country are stacked against the man if he divorces the woman. the woman will clean him out, take all for what he is worth, and w/ child support if he has any kids w/ her forget about retirement for sometime in the future. divorce does happen and u always have to be prepared for it.

i'm not saying ur man doesnt want to be married but u need to see it from his side too on why he wants to wait

Answer 10

The ones that are scared are the ones that can't committ. Don't know how to and most likely waiting for the next best thing to come along.

When he tells you that all guys are scared to get married, he's full of sh*t. A guy wants to marry the woman that he is in love and wants to spend the rest of his life with. He is just blowing smoke up your a** when he tells you that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. If he really wanted that, he would have already proposed and would have married you by now. 4 years is a long time to invest in someone who is scared to get married. And you have wasted 4 years of your life with someone who is never going to marry you. Sounds like a kick to the a**.

He likes to tell you what you want to hear and the sad thing is that you actually listen to it every single time.

If you want to get married, then its time to either give him an ultimatum or find someone who will propose and actually marry you.

Stop wasting your time with a man who says one thing but proves to you time and time again, that those are not really his intentions.