Are all railfans this eccentric?

Question

Thanks for your advice about accompanying my son to watch trains. I put my misconceptions aside and went with him, and actually met a "railfan" (I hope i got the term right) that despite his outdated clothes seemed quite nice. I accepted an invitation to have a coffee at his place (I'm now single and there's a man shortage in my area! so I can't be too picky...)

His apartment (actually the lower level of his parents house) looked like a hurricane had gone through...the place was filthy, but it seemed like every square inch of the walls were covered by train pictures. He started telling me all these number code of the train manufacturer's and the history of them. I tried to steer the convo in to normal stuff like where did you go to school, when will you get back to working, etc...but he kept going back to trains. A shame since he seemed like a kind guy . I ended up feining a cell phone call and going before the coffee was ready since I was afraid of the dirty cup. Is this the norm?

Answer 1

How'd you like it if someone courted you but considered you to be his "project"?  Don't do that to people, it's not nice at all.

By that I mean, it's obvious that you think very little of this man, and you're only in the relationship to feel superior.  Which means either you ARE superior (which means you deserve better), or you're overlooking his best qualities (for the sake of sustaining an arrogant lie, and you call HIM a geek!?)

Forget that.  Do NOT belittle this man.  Hold open the possibility that he's much more than you see.  And then insist on the standards that are important to you.  If he thinks you're worth his time, he'll step up.  Otherwise, he's made his choice.  It's a big world with lots of men, go "pick on someone your own size", i.e. date people you respect as your social equals.

Answer 2

The poor guy sounds like he might have an OCD with trains. Some of them don't have it as badly as others, like myself. Now if only I could find a single lady who is also a train buff and railfan.

Answer 3

Indeed, as the above posters have stated this is very unusual in the hobby and as Rango said folks like the person you describe are known as "foamers" because of their obsession with trains.  Clearly I think this fellow has some issues that he needs to work out.  

To just to give you a point of reference in regards to you mentioning that he was constantly talking about trains even when you tried to divert the subject;  I myself have been a railfan for most of my life but almost never discuss it with those outside of the hobby unless someone asks or is interested.

In any event, just know that the person you met is not your normal, typical, railfan and most are decent, hardworking, everyday folks that just enjoy studying and discussing railroading in one shape or form (from modeling to the real thing).

Answer 4

Yup, he's a foamer all right.

Lotta red flags here. Single (and it looks as if he's been so for quite awhile) and lives in an apt below his parent's house? Sounds unemployed too.

Obsessed with trains? Most folks who are obsessed are told to get a hobby. He's gotta branch out and get more of a life or maybe a job, 'cause it sounds like he's got the hobby part down.

The good new is that these kinda guys might be harmless, mostly.

Answer 5

RUN!!!!  Don't try to get romantic with this guy.  See, this is what I was talking about in an answer to other questions.  The outdated clothes.  Lives with Mom and Dad.  

I promise you.... marry this guy and you'll never see him on a holiday.  He will have your son and a radio scanner standing next to the tracks aggrevating engineers who are trying to get home to be with their families while you sit all alone and cry over a turkey that is getting cold.

I've never heard them called foamers before but, that's a great name for them.  There's a difference in someone who thinks trains are cool and a foamer.

And from what you wrote, the sucker doesn't have a job either.  Do you really want to date a man with no job and lives with mommy and daddy?

Answer 6

That sounds like a normal man, rather than a normal railfan. If I was single I can't imagine what my house would look like, but it wouldn't be good.

Answer 7

Oh dear, I had to laugh.  I've known three people like that but it wasn't trains, it was photography or radio or hiking.

Answer 8

Alco83 nailed this one dead on. The man you met belongs to a peculiar breed called the "foamer." The outdated clothes and bulky camera equipment are the most overt spotting features, but the posters and conversation deficits are clear marks as well. I wouldn't say they're a rare breed, but for sure, not all of us train buffs are foamers.

Answer 9

There's more railfans along the tracks ;)

Answer 10

Giggle... that sounds like a perfect scene from a goofy romantic movie !!

And It is NOT the norm... there are many of us who are married, and at the urging (demand) of our beloved keep neat and clean homes AND shops.

My model shop is spotless... cleaner than any of our childrens' rooms.

Sorry to hear he didn't meet your hopes... but still sounds like a nice guy to keep in touch with for your son's railroading interests.

Answer 11

no, most are not quite as over the top as your acquaintance but he is by no means the only one that obsessed.

I am sorry it didnt work out, most railfans are pretty ok people.

We call the ones llike this guy "foamers" because they start foaming at the mouth at the sight of a train.