Are all stepdads this way?

Question

Ok stepdads are suppose to come into the family and try to fit in. Yeah, the total opposite with mine. My stepdad wants to take over and control and be mean. He can be cool but then he can be so stupid. I can have trouble opening and closing my mouth. I really don't say anything too disrespectful but he just gets on my nerves. My dad is not around too much but I still keep in touch with him. He lives in another state. I mean my mom just doesn't let this happen she takes up for me but then he gets mad and stuff. My mom is like a laid back type person and isn't too heavily into sports. I play basketball and that is my stepdad's life and he taught me everything i know. He does for me takes me places but we don't hang out with each other like that. Every time he says i'm ungrateful he says it's about money. Forget the money just hang out with me sometimes or just talk to me. He's mad at me now. I'm getting to the point where I just really dislike him. He gets mad over the dumbest stuff. Like in the mornings when I go to school he tells me to tuck in my shirt. Yeah, that is required at my school but i'm not at school yet. He always be worrying about what I am doing and always criticizes me and always finds a flaw in everything I do. If clean the bathroom and I know I cleaned it good He'll say like did you wipe the base boards and I didn't do that. I was just wondering is this normal? What can I do to control my anger and stop talking back as he says? I have to live with him so i'm going to have to deal with him.

Answer 1

Sigh.

sounds tough.

hmmm, there MUST be a way to TRY and bond with him??

sorry, i really dont know.

:(

Answer 2

I don't know what the communication is like in your home, but having been a single Mom of three boys (now a Grandma), my policy  was always to "Talk about it". Sometimes our discussions got a little heated, but we always worked it out by expressing how we feel.  No one can argue with feelings, they're just feelings.  You don't know what your Step Dad is feeling, or your Mom, for that matter. Sitting down together with the goal of coming to solutions, not  pointing fingers, would be a very healthy thing to do.  Each person  allows the other to express how he or she feels.    No slamming or putting each other down.  The idea is to come to a positive conclusion and share ideas of how things could improve.  Each of us has to take responsibility for our own behavior.  My family are all Christians, so our talks always begin and end in seeking the Lord.  He invented the family. (Smile)

Answer 3

Yes most step dads seem that way let me tell you ive lived with mine for ova 6 years and ill spare you the pain of telling you about it. I am 15 nearly 16 and i havent seen my dad since i was 12. He isnt really that bad now and i think that your relationship will get better over time. Im sure that your step dad really isnt that bad and it must be harder for him to raise you cause you arent his kid and hes not your dad. Its hard for you both so just try to live with him, it 'll get better believe me.

Good luck!  

Answer 4

Sit down and have a talk with him and your mother and tell him how you feel...and if that doesn't work, call the police and tell them that he touches you. Then you get a new daddy!