Are any other parents have a successful bedtime routine for teenage daughters?

Question

In my part of the country, it is now 9:05 PM. I'll be heading to bed in a few minutes, but I've happily just ended my day with a relaxing 2 hours. I have two teenage daughters. Jessica is 13 years old, and Shelly is 16 years old. After they get home from school, they do some homework and then take some time to chat with friends and use the computer. I usually start making dinner right after I get home from work and have it ready on the table by 6. Immediately after dinner, Jess and Shelly head upstairs and go through their bedtime routines. Usually by around 7:00 or so they're both snuggled up under the covers. At this point their more than welcome to read or work on homework quietly in their rooms, but they're rarely up later than 7:30 (if they even stay up at all). After they're asleep I get some time to myself to relax before going to sleep around 9:30. This has been their routine since they were very young. I'm sharing this little story because I've not once received a grievance from either of them...

Bedtime has always been and continues to be a pleasant and secure time of the day. I've heard other parents of teenage daughters complain to me that I don't "give them enough freedom" or "let them stay up late enough", but these same parents will tell me plenty of stories other occasions about unpleasant experiences they've had with attitude and bad behavior. It seems to me like their kids might need a little more "sleepytime"! Do any other parents have a routine similar to this? Do they get as much out of it as my daughters and I do?

Answer 1

Small children need  routines to be set for them..not teenagers.  Sorry..but I don't believe this story for one second.  If it is true, it's not normal.

Answer 2

my kids were usually in bed by nine but as they got toward their junior and senior stages they were up later

Answer 3

It's not healthy to sleep right after eating a meal. It takes 3 hours for food to digest. My kids would lose it with this routine. They have lots of playing/hanging out to do after dinner. They are in bed by 9 and can read for 1/2 an hour. Some are out by 9:15...some are still reading at 9:30. I agree that kids need lots of sleep and it makes them more pleasant. I also think that kids need physical activity in order to rest well. I guess if your girls are okay with the routine then keep it up. It wouldn't work in our house. They're in school all day and if they went to bed by 7 I would feel like we weren't spending enough time together. We have the most fun in that relaxed hour or three after dinner.  

Answer 4

When I was a kid, we only had 1 meal of the day together because of our busy schedules, and it was dinner. My dad would still be at work, but my mom would fix something for herself and my sister and I, or we'd even get something to eat, but then, we'd have a dew hours to just relax or do homework and go to bed at 10 30, when I was in high school. We didn't have any problems really with bedtime.

Answer 5

You dont mention what time they get up.  You do realize at this age 8-9 hours is medically recommended, not 10-12.  10-12 is actually way too much for someone that age.  

There is nothing wrong with a bed time routine, infact it is recommended that everyone have a bed time routine.  But there is something wrong with forcing your kids to sleep more than what they need.  

Although I wonder....   are the REALLY asleep, or are they laying in bed doing something else such as reading or talking or writing or even just thinking.

Answer 6

well... im 17 and im still up and i have school tomorrow... and my parents dont really give me a bedtime anymore... i usually fall asleep around 1030 ish but i took a nap after school today! i think you are doing a great job  

Answer 7

Well my mom had me and my seven sisters ready for bed by eight and had us in bed by eight thirty and if we were not in bed then we were in big trouble.

Answer 8

Are you insane??!!!! Bedtime at 7:30??!!! For a 13 and 16 year old??!!!

Answer 9

I'd never send my teenager/s to bed at 7:30pm. In my household, a 13 yr old's bedtime would be 9pm and a 16yr olds bed time would be 10:30pm. Teenagers do need a decent amount of sleep per night but too much sleep is just as damaging. Even if a person goes to bed at 10:30pm and sleeps until 7am, they are still getting 8 1/2hrs sleep. This is sufficient. Your probably a wonderful mother but maybe your household is the one that needs changing?

Answer 10

my daughter is 15 she goes to school and then does her after school activities like cheer leading for the high school she goes to bed when she wants and i dint have a problem with that she gets good grades and every morning shes up at 5 am to get ready for school now if her grades ever sliped or she was a bad kid then i might suggest that she go earlier but she is usually asleep by 10 or 11 so i dont really suggest a bed time  

Answer 11

My daughter is 14.  Her after school schedule is

Home by 3:40, we sit and talk and she catches me up on the gossip at school.  She does her homework if she has any (usually not, she normally does it during lunch hour), we have supper between 5-6.  I clean the kitchen while she talks on the phone or uses the computer.  Watch a little tv as a family or she and my son go rollerblading for a bit.

Bedtime is supposed to be at 9pm, then reading for 30 minutes.  My daughter has always been an early to bed kind of gal though and is usually in bed by 8pm, reads for 30 minutes and sleeping right away (she showers in the morning).

My son is 12 and his schedule looks pretty much the same only he takes every minute he can to stay up until 9, and although lights are supposed to be out by 9:30 I often catch him STILL reading when I go to bed several hours later.    

Answer 12

My mom had an awesome routine, "You can go to bed when you want but you have to be able to function fully the next day." I always could. Good for you for finding something that works for you. Soon enough - should they choose to go to college - they'll be working gruelling schedules.