Are baby showers a celebration or for dreaded obligatory gifts?

Question

I am in my 20's and a lot of my people my age are getting married and having babies. When my close friends and family members have a baby shower, I am thrilled for them! I love attending, finding a perfect present, helping to decorate, etc. I love celebrating with them.

But most of the invitations I get are from coworkers and acquaintences. Why would they invite me? I feel obligated to attend, which is awkward when I don't know anybody, not to mention I have to buy a gift. And if I don't attend, I am still expected to buy a gift?

My grandma says baby showers used to be women celebrating, and used to small and personal.

Does anyone else dread baby showers?

Answer 1

It's just an excuse to grab as much free loot for their child as possible, not because they think you're delightful and want to spend time with you.  If the invitation is from someone you barely know, you shouldn't feel under pressure to stump up for a gift.

Answer 2

I think its a two-way street for co-workers. They may feel obligated to invite you because they're not sure or don't want to seem rude. I wouldn't get acquaintances a gift only because it seems like they are just in search of stuff to me. But as far as co-workers go,  I would just give them some diapers just to be nice, you don't have to go. I think getting them something simple like diapers or onesies and not attending their shower kind of kills the awkwardness of the situation.

Personally I hate going to any babyshower but I love giving the gifts!  

Answer 3

To know more about

baby showers

Please feel free to visit   http://learnmoreon.com/babyshowers/

Answer 4

I am not American and have never been invited nor attended one. Pfffff...thank god ! It is a societal custom which I do not know about but only have heard from.

I suppose friends of the mum to be are glad to help and celebrate and all but it seems to me that inviting acquaintances or almost practically strangers is just like asking for free hand outs.

Would I buy Christmas or birthday presents to people I just do not know just because they ask for it ?? h**l no.

In some ways it reminds me of the bradzillia craze.........an opportunity to ask for anything without any guilt involved. It is about me me me me me me me.

Some people go overboard and feel entitled to receive.

There is no such thing as baby showers where I come from. If people and friends want to help and give you gifts : it is out of their hearts not out of obligation.

Am sure am going to have 100 TDs for that but that is how it is and how I see it.

It reminds me once when I was invited to a kid's birthdayin the US: I did not know the parents, the kid, the people...nobody !! An acquaintance dragged me along. I hated it. I knew nobody involved in the party, I was just a stranger and had to put a fake smile on my face. Of course I had to buy a gift for a kid I never saw nor heard of before and never heard of nor saw afterwards either. Complete strangers.

I would agree with your grand-ma but as I said.......baby showers do not exist where I come from and I would dread asking  people for gifts, money etc or whatever just because somebody is having a baby which is such a common and usual thing anyway. I would feel like exploiting people and would not want hypocrisy from them nor people should feel obliged to give just because...

Of course you run the risk of being seen as the black sheep and be ostracised...where has common sense gone ?

I would not like to be in your position.

Answer 5

Acquaintances I wouldn't worry about.   Co-workers, on the other hand, are a different story.  It depends on how big your workplace is, how much you want to work there, and what the office mentality is.  If you work in a huge organization where no-one knows if you were there or not, ignore it if you want.  However, if it's your immediate supervisor's daughter (and yes, that does happen), then you're probably better of going.

There are "gift piggies" out there who just want to rake in the dough.  And there are "attention piggies" who just want everyone to ooh and ahh over them.  However, I do think the majority of new mothers just aren't comfortable drawing the line of who to exclude, so they include everyone.

One option - if you do work in a larger company, maybe try to talk some of your coworkers into going in on a departmental gift where you each chip in $2 or $3.  

Answer 6

I dread them. If you find too many invitations for baby showers, put a stop to giving gifts that is out of your budget.

If you can only afford cards, give cards. You are also not obligated to attend. When you don't attend, you don't have to give a gift.

Answer 7

My answer to you is: yes.  Some times, if you're not close to a person, it most certainly is obligatory (for cryin' out loud :-)!

But as a mom, I remember how much I appreciated every thing that people were generous enough to buy us - right down to a onesie or one baby bottle with a really advanced nipple or new feature to make it better.

If it just rubs you wrong to buy for someone who you're not excited about attending their shower - don't do it.  That's being unkind to you.  But if you can afford a picture frame from the dollar store, or one of those $1.00 bottle washers - then I would.  If you can't afford it, don't buy it.  And don't feel bad either.  And I wouldn't attend unless you really wanted to.  Watch out for politics though - especially if it's related to the workplace...

Since when was giving supposed to feel this way?  I feel you.

Answer 8

To know more about

Baby Showers  

Please feel free to visit   http://learnmoreon.com/babyboomers/

Answer 9

Gifts are NEVER obligatory.  They are never to be expected, asked for, or "detailed"  ("we don't need diapers, but a crib would be nice!").

Baby showers are a celebration... period.

If you are unable to afford a gift, then maybe a "coupon" would be a nice alternative... "Good for 5 hours of babysitting" or whatever.  Trust me, the mother will REALLY appreciate knowing she can call on babysitting services from friends to have some time OUT from motherhood.

If you do not attend, still, gifts are OPTIONAL.... always and forever, in ALL situations... weddings, funerals, BIRTHDAYS, holidays... etc.

Don't dread the shower... CELEBRATE it with everyone!

Have a polite day.

Answer 10

It seems that showers and housewarmings have turned into a big business and the younger people are falling for this marketing strategies in droves. I find it rather offensive when I receive an invitation from a virtual stranger or get 2 baby shower invitations for the same mother in less than 3 years. I also have to wonder about people that have a housewarming every time they move or the bride that has been married 4 times in 10 years. The celebration aspect has turned into something along the lines of looking for a hand out.

The last few showers I've attended consisted of nothing but small talk, opening gifts, serve some lame refreshment and getting rushed out the door because the honoree or hostess had to be someplace else in 30 minutes. That's not much of a celebration and to top it off I haven't received a thank you card in so long that I just can't justify spending my time and money on these so called friends celebrations anymore. So yeah, I dread showers of all description.........