Are formula feeding parents 'less attached' than breastfeeding parents?

Question

Im not trying to start a debate over bf/ff but i was just thinking, my SIL formula feeds and seems to be able to leave her baby where ever, whenever. I, on the other hand would rather take my baby with me, otherwise i have to pump before, find some breast pads, worry about becoming engorged if Im gone too long....etc.

So are formula parents less attached?? How do you feed and how often are you away from your baby?

Answer 1

Absolutely, 100% not true.  It just depends on the parent.

I formula feed and could not be any more attached and/or bonded to my child.  I am a SAHM and I am very rarely away from my son.  I have never been away from him for more than three hours and the only people I have ever left him with are my husband and my mother (on rare occasions).

Answer 2

I don't know for sure but I guess they have the option of being able to leave their baby with someone, and so they take it up sometimes.  My MIL had five children - she breastfed four, but one of them she couldn't for some reason (don't know why).  She told me that she never felt like she had that strong bond with the one she didn't breastfeed - not that she loved him any less than the others of course.  So, yeah, I don't know ... maybe.

Edit:  Although, having read the answers here, it looks like it's very much an individual thing.  There's a lot more to bonding than just the method of feeding your baby.

Answer 3

i started formula feeding when he was 5 weeks (though i wish i hadn't stopped nursing so soon).  

in 7 months i have never been away from my baby except once to dinner for 2 hrs and getting my hair done on occasion when my husband watches him.

myself and my husband feed him.

i feel very attached to him, would never be overnight without him and he goes everywhere with me as i am a stay at home mom and goes everywhere with us on the weekends when daddy is home.

Answer 4

oh my god, are you kidding with this? ruby was formula fed from 2 months old, and she and i are beyond attached. i am away from my baby now -- she is 14 months -- for one morning to afternoon period each week when she goes to her grandparents'. she refused to go to anyone but me until about 9 months, so we started with shorter visits then and worked up to where we are now. otherwise, i am always with her. we also co-slept until she was unable to stay asleep in our bed (9 1/2 months). it doesn't take a genius to figure out that parents who are just not as into parenting, who are, themselves, less attached would choose to formula feed. however, that does NOT mean that formula feeding parents are automatically less attached OR that breastfeeding parents are automatically more so. that's a logical fallacy, first of all, and, second of all, it is used as a "question" to yet again make disgusting generalizations about the love and parenting style of formula feeding moms. disgraceful.

edit: furthermore, the fact that a baby has never been fed by anyone else, at a certain age, is not necessarily in the baby's best interest. a newborn, yes. and infant, yes. a toddler? no. never leaving your baby does not automatically indicate a more "attached" parent in an emotional sense.

Answer 5

I think it would be hard for anyone to give you an unbiased objective answer to this question, because most woman are partial to whatever decision they made as being the right one.  And, certainly if a mother has ONLY formula fed or ONLY breastfed, they are not going to know what it feels like to do the other.  

That being said, I formula fed my first child and breastfed my second.  I will say that I did bond better with my second baby *while she was a baby*.  I didn't just not leave her because of the hassle it would have been, but because I genuinely didn't want to.  However, I think that there are many factors that affect parent child bonding.  Close contact, no prolonged seperations, holding the baby often, a fairly comfortable family situation, not conditioning yourself to be insensitive to cries, and others.  I didn't do those things with my first, and I'm quite certain thats why I had trouble bonding.

So I do think that breastfeeding helps with bonding if it causes you to do those things that I listed, and you otherwise wouldn't be doing them with formula.  I'm sure there are mothers who prop bottles, leave their babe with relatives all the time, and are quick to put them down or hand them off as much as possible.  But I have met plenty formula moms who hold their baby all the time, never prop bottles, are always reluctant to leave them with others, and seem to adore their baby as much as anyone else.

Just my thoughts.

Answer 6

Wah Wah

I did both.

I can't leave my baby. I leave him for part-time work however.

Answer 7

I thought about all the same things and decided to bottle feed my baby. I am very close to her and don't think I lost out on anything by not breast feeding. She still looks to me for food and comfort and I am just as close to her when I give her the bottle as if I had her at my breast. Being able to have someone else feed her is a plus too, and not having to breast feed in public. My doctor told me if I wasn't absoultly comfortable with breast feeding it was better to not do it.

Answer 8

I have 2 kids.  One is 19, and I gave birth to him, with complications, the other is 11 months, adopted.  I had to bottle feed both.  

I love both my sons dearly, however, I'm a little more attached to my adopted son in some ways, because I'm older, more settled, more mature, and better off financially.  These things had much more to do with my bonding than feeding.

Answer 9

not by a long shot, I had to formula feed, and my baby doesnt stay anyplace.EVER. unless i have to leave him with mom for a little bit for a dr appointment or some such have to case....my daughter is 9 and was never left with anyone else  either (except, same circumstances...with mom)

well obber,  you just met her, that would be me,

why would anyone think the method you use to feed your child would make you less attached? dont assume until you know.

thumbs down for having a close bond with your baby,  gee we have some wonderful  people in here. (<~~insert sarcasm here for those too dense to pick it up)

Answer 10

My son is 10 1/2 months old and breast fed. He nurses about every 4 hours still with one long nursing at night sometimes. I'm very rarely away from him because of exactly what you said...I don't want to worry about bottles, nipples, formula, pumping, pads, etc....and I hate being engorged!!!! So uncomfortable. I hadn't thought of it as being more attached than formula feeding moms...maybe I'm more physically attached (literally)....but I'm definately not more emotionally attached to my son than formula feeding moms.

*edit* I was away from my son for one night for my 1st anniversary when he was 2 months old and cried most of the night...in fact we left our hotel at like 4 am so we could go back and pick him up ;) Other than that I'd say an hour twice so we could go out to dinner alone

Answer 11

"So are formula parents less attached??"

I can't speak for others, but absolutely not in my case. My daughter (20mo) and I have a wonderful bond, and I really don't think it could be any stronger. We co-sleep, she still loves to be carried in a sling, and she's seriously my best friend.

How long you might be away from your child has no barring on how "attached" you are to your child. And if I passed my baby off to her daddy to be fed while I went to the bathroom...well...that doesn't make me any less of a parent, and any less attached to my child.

That being said, I am definitely planning on breastfeeding my next child, and am thoroughly looking forward to it. But my bond will be between a mother and her baby. Not a breastfeeding mother and her baby...or vice versa. If that makes any sense.

Answer 12

I was a formula parent for medical reasons, and was quite close with my baby.  I left work when she was born and am a SAHM She ate when she was hungry.

My friend who breastfed was not nearly as close to her child.  She went back to work three weeks after her child was born, pumped milk at work and kept up with all her pre-baby activities.

Therefore, I would say that the method of feeding does not reflect the closeness of the parent.

Answer 13

The longest I have been away from my son is 1hr and this has only been a few times.  It's me who feds him, bathes him, cuddles him and he goes just about everywhere with me.  We have a strong bond and he is very secure.  We still cuddle with every feed even at 9 months old.  He is Formula fed.

Answer 14

i formula feed... i love my son very much... he will be one in 9 days and he has NEVER spent a night away from me and my husband...

Answer 15

I think it depends on the parents more than the formula feeding. But generally I say yes they are less attached. Because unlike breastfeeding mothers they can have just anyone to feed baby. Not wanting a baby attached to them is one reason many mothers decide not to breastfeed. Like I said though, not all bottle feeding mothers are like that, my mother wasn't. I may as well have been breastfed with how I was shoved up her rear.

Let the thumbs down roll in. They just know I'm right.

Answer 16

I think the fact that you (and i'm sure when i breastfeed i will as well) do not want to leave your baby due to pumping etc etc and all that hassle isn't really an "attachment" thing but rather a ""convenience" thing.

It's easier to breastfeed and just have your baby with you, rather than worrying about your milk supply and what will happen if you stop feeding for a while.

If you didn't have to worry about that... i'm sure you wouldn't mind being away from your baby for some quiet time for a few hours.

As I said I think it's more of a convenience than attachment.

Answer 17

Not that they don't care for their children, but yes women who choose to bottle feed are usually more independant, emotionally cooler & more organized. I've chosen to breastfeed for just the first six weeks then switch to formula. It's something..

Answer 18

I don't think so.My son rarely ever leaves my side.An yes I do formula feed.He has only been left a couple of times since he was born & that was just long enough for me to run to the store or do a few errands.Just because all moms don't breastfeed,doesn't make them any less attached.Some moms just have like to take breaks more often or something.I personally prefer my child to be with me..

Obber-that would be me.My child has only been left a few timer since he was born and that was only to give daddy some time & run to store,I feed him 95% of the time,I cuddle up to him while feeding..You can make all the assumptions that you want.I know I am just as good of a mother as you are.

Answer 19

Lots of people are going to tell you there's no difference, but I would really like to meet the mother who chose formula, and has, like me, never been away from her one-year-old for more than a couple of hours (and those couple of hours have only been on rare occasions), always cuddled with skin contact for feedings, never had anybody else feed her baby, etcetera.

Answer 20

Hey there,

absolutely not...! My son is formula fed and me and my husband don't feel cheated at all..we love him to bits!

I hate leaving him with other people (some weird protective..almost over obsessive thing that i have) so unless I really have to,he comes with us everywhere.

I wish I could have breast fed (didn't work out for us) because then I would have an excuse to have him with me all the time (rather than look as obsessive as I do now)

But yes, do whatever feels best for you, and if u feel comfortable leaving your baby with people, do it. Don't feel guilty either way or let anyone tell you that you are doing something wrong. You know what's best for your baby.

Congrats!

-Chez