Are guys more afraid to commit to relationships more than women, or is it the other way around?

Question

What I think is that guy's are more hesitant to commit to relationships because they somehow feel more "responsible" for the well being of their partners and providing financial support-- like the saying: it's the men who often "bring home the bacon"; especially in such a patriarchal society.

But I understand that women are also afraid to commit because of fear of losing their "independence". Moreover, when they do commit to a serious relationships, it's often the women who worry more about their partners leaving them (i.e. divorce, etc.) especially that (we) are more emotional. It's women who often feel the pressure to break the stereotypical "house-wife" schema and strive to be successful in a (mostly) patriarchal society.

What do you think? What gender is more hesitant to commit to serious relationships?

Answer 1

Depends on the male/female and on their age.

When I was younger-it seemed like more women than men wanted to get tied down. In my 30's-it seemed about equal as most people were busy with their kids and/or jobs.

Now that I'm almost 50-most of the women I know in their 40's and 50's could care less about commitment and the single/divorced guys are desperate for a girlfriend/wife or whatever they can get. When I started dating in my 40's again-guys were absolutely begging for dates...

Answer 2

Both genders are.  The most widely used excuse is that they've seen their family and friends have break-ups and don't want to head the same way.  There are more reasons these days not to commit to relationships.

Answer 3

women have a softer heart than a man does, its easier for her to get caught in emotions an feelings, on the other hand guys they might like you buyt some guys see you as just a prize or a gift they use an throw away after using.

Answer 4

What do you mean feel ? THey are. And if you go out of your way with having a child with another man your ex hubby will STILL have to pay child support for it.

Once a man marries he looses all choice. He can no longer be a "good" provider because he doesnt really have a choice eithier he provides or the courts will make him provide.

Answer 5

Committing to a relationship may lead to marriage (note, I said "may") and marriage, for a man, has very serious and often negative consequences.  Consider that when a man marries, he is expected to provide for his family, which means surrendering his life to his job - even if it is a dangerous job, or a job he hates.  He does not have much choice because he is the "expected" provider.  His job may require him to work far from home, disconnecting him from his family and the thing that gives his life meaning, but he makes this sacrifice because he is expected to provide (and needed to provide).  His wife has a choice to work outside the home or stay at home and raise children.  If they have children, the man will not see them as often as he would like because he will be at work, providing for them.  Though providing is his form of "nurturing," he gets a bad rap and is told he's "ignoring" his family.  His wife feels neglected because he is working all the time.  These feelings lead to lack of communication, and intimacy suffers.  s*x becomes infrequent.  Ultimately they divorce (and women file for divorce at a much higher rate than men), and now the man gets to pay child support and alimony for a family he doesn't get to enjoy, while she has the children and he pays for it.  

For men, the reality is that marriage means "my body, not my choice."  So the idea of a "patriarchy" is really hollow, and the idea of "commitment" has the ring of loss for men.

Answer 6

One of the reasons we are afraid to commit is because once we say yes to one woman. We are saying no to all others and that's tough on guys. We think about all the women we will never sleep with. I know it sounds shallow, but it's true. It's just another example of male sexuality, which few women accept and fewer understand.

Answer 7

I've heard of that. What Capone said. It must be true. I also think that succesful men are wary of finding the right woman, because they know she will get half if it doesn't work out. So, they need to choose well.

I think it's men. And yet, when they get to be thirty and such, it's harder for them to find someone because all the young girls are so silly and the older ones have lots of baggage. It's just what I've noticed anyway.

Answer 8

I think guys think things over more and be more realistic than women, where as women are more likely to get caught up in the idea of being in love rather than what is really there in front of them.