Are married mums at home whose hub works, just 'glorified ' single mums?

Question

when a husband is breadwinner, and works 9 to 5 and you are a mum, you will spend your days caring and the childs daily issues are attended by YOU, drs /dentists, taking to and from school and when your hub gets home he wants his tea ,a shower then maybe helps you out, but I always feel single mums do the same tasks in their days only exception is, a man doesnt come home at night for a couple of hours!

Me and my kids, are NOT worse off emotionally since their dad left when they were very small , as he came home from work and ate, showered chilled then went to bed! as he now gives MORE quality time and he still has input at weekends, and is a phone call away if children need him etc.

My question therefore is is being married with kids just a 'glorified single mum' ?

Answer 1

For a kick off they will not be claiming benefits like single mothers and they are doing a job they enjoy and have a partner they want to be with. Jealousy on your part I think!  

Answer 2

Not at all! At least not for me. My husband is involved so much. Sure he works all day but he comes home and My sons eyes light up! they talk and play and have daddy time every evening!

Plus my husband works so I dont have to worry  on how I am going to provide for my kids. I get to stay home and be mom because my husband chooses to make a living for his family.  I dont feel like I do all those things alone, I feel like we are a team and if I didnt have him then my job as a mom would not be as easy.

I am sorry for your situation when your husband was there it seems like he should have been much more involved.

Good luck to you

Answer 3

it sure feels like that sometimes hey. but i really don't think so. my partner works away from home 4days a week and then is back home for 3-4 days and then gone again. but when he is home he is the best daddy anyone could wish for. even though he is absolutely buggered from slogging it out for 4 days straight with no sleep. he still comes home and does everything he can for our daughter. before he was working away he was doing split shifts, 12-4 5-10. and he'd still come home and look after bubs so i could get 1/2 hour to myself. we expect our husbands/partners/b/f to work hard to support us and our children but then we complain when they aren't there ALL THE TIME. i guess you cant have your cake and eat it too, although i feel like ive got the best of both worlds as i can stay home with my daughter because he works so hard.  

Answer 4

I think it depends on the situation.  My friends husband works and she stays home with the kids.  BUT he only works three days out of the week and he's home by 5pm on the days he does work.  So he is very much present in the family life.   My husband works and I was staying home with the kids but he works 2nd shift so he's gone from 2pm until 11pm so on the days when he works the kids don't really see him.  However, he usually gets at least three days off a week and manages to make it to just about everything that's important to them like recitals etc. so he still plays a very major role in their lives.  Then there are fathers out there who sleep and go to work and on their days off they go out to the bar.  

Although I'm really not sure what you mean by "glorified" single mom.   But I'm not going to touch that as that could imply many different things.

Answer 5

I see where you are coming from, but the right husband provides that emotional and back-up support and is invaluable to me. My husband works 9-5 and I stay at home with our 14 month old, whilst also running a business from home.

However, while I do the general day to day upbringing of our daughter, I would hate to not have my husband there when I need him. He will gladly take time off work should I need him to, and I love having him home at the weekends.

He provides that back-up support that I couldnt do without.

Answer 6

No my hubby works overr nights at a casino boat and he is still very hands on no matter what... he helps with dishes and someitmes cooks meals once a week... me being a stay at home mom i feel it is my responsiblity to take care of the house but my hubby does help out too without being asked...  

Answer 7

well from everything i see a man 99 % of the time doesnt help when ur at home u make the bottles change the diapers so u really cant count on a man there is a VERY slim amount of men who will help but not normal . its just how were made to take it all on . and u can look at it that way but u and ur husband should have a bond and talk things out before they lead to other things if women are feeling this way. being a single mom and being a married mom are VERY different  

Answer 8

no i wouldn't say so, and what about weekends and holidays?

Answer 9

I understand where you are coming from, i have a 14 month ol daughter and have three weeks until i give birth to my second child. My fiance works long hours so i do most of the bringing up of our children, cleaning and all of the cooking. But when he is home he does help, sometimes not as much as i'd like but enough to make me realise he cares. I think based on my personal experience it depends who you are with, some men use work as an excuse not to do anything at home but some men are great and help out alot. All families are different and i think that the only difference is that being single you have one less person to look after! Parenting should be 50/50 no matter what either one does for a living :)

Answer 10

i think it may seem like it in some ways. sometimes i feel like daddy just comes in and plays for a little while and then he's off to bed or whatever. sometimes you feel like its harder to be married with kids then a single parent. dont get me wrong my husband is a good father and husband but he works 6 days a week. when he's home he does help some. like he has been known to clean house or so on but its not an all the time thing. yes he does play with the kids more so now since we have a new baby he is good about taking the 4 year old out to play, but he does not get up in the middle of the night for feedings or so on now i know he has to be at work but i have to be up to and i have 2 kids all day alone and taking care of 2 young kids is hard work not to mention taking them with you on all you errands .lol i love my family and would not change it but sometimes it feels good to vent

Answer 11

I just had this very argument with my hubby last night! He said he is just nervous cause he doesn't know what to do when she is crying so he hands her off to me (she will be 9 weeks on Tuesday). I sometimes feel like I am a single parent and I voiced that to him. He has been great today and I hope that continues. I don't think they realize that you are doing all the work esp. because a lot of us will just take the baby when they are fussing because we know we can soothe them. My hubby is great, he just needed that kick in the butt to let him know he could be doing more and I am ready for him to do more.

Answer 12

No way.  If you marry the right man then you will not feel like a single mother.

My hubby works 8-4 so he home just after 4 then he plays with our little one, we have our tea together, he cleans up the kitchen and we spend the rest of the night together as a family.  Then our daughter goes to bed and we have a de hours together before we go to bed.  He looks after our daughter and home just as much as I do.

I am not a 'glorified' single mother.  No way.

Answer 13

Not if you marry the right man.