Are mothers seen as the "better" parent?

Question

Because of that whole women are by nature nurtures thing?

I've that noticed that it's such a big shock to people when they hear stories of drunk, sadistic, or drug addicted mothers who abuse their children but if it were a guy it doesn't get as much attention because it's just a "common thing" you can expect from male parent.

But if a mom were to act in an "unmotherly" way, it's more heartbreaking because as a mom she's expected better, she shouldn't be acting that way as a nurture. Make sense?

Do you think maybe this is a reason why men often lose custody of their children? Because the mom's are subconsciously seen as a "more fit" parent because of her supposed "nurture" status?

Answer 1

Feminists took Neil Lyndon's son from him and put him in the care of his alcoholic mother

" In support of her application for custody, extracts were presented to the court from my writings about feminism, as if these proved that I must be a monster and an unfit father."

http://www.ukmm.org.uk/issues/suppressio...

This is how they suppress information relating to female domestic abuse and demonise men.

"Because of my opposition to the hijacking of the refuge movement, I was a target for abuse. Anywhere I spoke there was a contingent of screaming, heckling feminists waiting for me," Pizzey wrote. "Abusive telephone calls to my home, death threats and bomb scares, became a way of living for me and for my family. Finally, the bomb squad, asked me to have all my mail delivered to their head quarters."

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,1975...

Answer 2

That how it seems,but I know Mothers that don't have a nurturing bone in their body.The fathers have to take up the nurturing for them. Some children are way better off with their Fathers.

Answer 3

It really is horrible and you see both genders put fathers down.

Macho alpha men who think that child support is unfair and that they should have an opt out.  Heck just child support, lowers fathers from daddy to cash.  If the men were fathers there wouldn't be the need for court ordered child support.

The stereotype men are strong providers women gentle nurtures.  Women who believe they can do a better job, completely alone.  The men are animal spread seed and leave theory.

Lot of things, actions, ideas influence this notion, and both s*x's have to do there part to stop it.

Truth is there are plenty of good fathers out there and a few b*tchy women and some macho *** of men are messing it up for them.

Answer 4

I know men that would make better parents then the women that they knock up. True. But I still know far more women that are better parents then the men that get them pregnant. As well, you just don't often read about moms sexually abusing their children (although you do hear plenty of stories of neglect or drug abuse). Not saying that it doesn't happen, just statistically speaking, its usually men committing those kinds of crimes. I don't think its anymore heart breaking if a woman commits these crimes. In either case, a childs innocense was destroyed.

"Do you think maybe this is a reason why men often lose custody of their children?"

in the past, but not these days. courts try to make it an even split unless one parent can prove the child is better off mentally, emotionally and financially or the other parent  is unfit.

Answer 5

For some reason, I too think that most perceive mothers as being the "better" parent, especially in the courtrooms. I don't know why. Maybe it's because the woman has to physically carry a child for 9 months, go through labor, feeding, etc.? "They" just assume that a mother would be more caring since she had to go through all that. When I look at a parent, male or female, I look at how they interact with the child and visa versa. For the sake of the child, I wish the courts would do the same.

Just because someone is a mother doesn't mean they are a good parent. Anybody can do evil to a kid, male or female. Sad, isn't it?! ♥ ∞

Answer 6

I think so, I know that in my family the women are pretty involved w/ their children w/ the exception of my mom's sister-she is pretty distant from her son. I do believe that it depends on the person themself because my grandmother raised my mother & her sister & my mother has 4 kids & is married to my father & has a stable life unlike my aunt.

I also agree that whenever the father "messes" up, the mother is more often than not required to pick up the slack that the father leaves behind which is unfortunate to say the least.

Answer 7

Jazz...there are probably certain characteristics that society expects from mothers, but I disagree in regard to responsible behavior, I consider father's just as responsible and just as important as mothers.  I do not expect that it is okay for either of them to be drunk, drugged out or abusive to or around their children.  If they are not responsible, its not heartbreaking, it's criminal and the children should not have to suffer because of it.

Answer 8

I can't say I've seen it much on this site, but I have actually heard more than one person say flat-out that mothers are generally better parents than fathers.  Even many who don't say that imply it with their actions.  My own mother didn't quite say word-for-word that mothers are better parents, but she might as well have (a statement she's since backed off from, she now acknowledges that men and women just do things differently).  

Yes, I do think it's why mothers generally get the kids by default in divorces.  

Sometimes I think we judge mothers and fathers differently.  A mother can get away with popping her kid (not beating of course, just a light pop) to get their attention.  I don't think fathers can in the same way.  People will think he's about to beat the kid.  Then you have stories like the guy who was taking pictures of his own kids at a playground being accused of being a sexual predator by a mother of another kid.  Would that ever happen with a woman taking pictures?  Of course not.

There's more praise given to mothers overall than fathers as well.  The local paper here has a section every Thursday where they highlight some local mother and how she's raising her kids, and they also have what's basically a "salute to moms."  This isn't around Mother's Day, it's every week (been going on since at least April that I noticed).  Know how much coverage fathers get in that paper like that?  There hasn't been a single section yet, except maybe something on Father's Day.  Even then, a lot of what was written on Father's Day was telling the deadbeats to be better fathers, and completely ignored the good ones!  There wasn't a d**n thing like that about mothers on Mother's Day, probably because people would've raised h**l if it had been there.

Answer 9

in the family court system it's always assumed the mother is the better parent.

Answer 10

It seems like that and it is disheartening when thinking about that, especially for a father and men being less of parents or worse than women.

Answer 11

Most men don't actually want custody of their children in divorces. That's the real reason they aren't as likely to get it.

Answer 12

No, it's not subconscious at all that a mother is seen as a better parent than a father. And that's precisely why a mother who is "un-nurturing" gets more media attention than a father who is "un-nurturing".

You haven't been to GWS long, have you? You're preaching to the choir here. Bias and discrimination in family courts, custody battles, and father's rights are a frequent topic in this forum.

Answer 13

I don't hear it much on this site but I have always wondered if maybe as a society we still don't look to mothers to be the better parent. I do think it has some foundation in truth and partially explains why mothers primarily get custody of children over fathers.