Are my parents too old to adopt a baby?

Question

I'm 16 and my parents really want to adopt a child, but my dad is 53 and my mom is 46. I also have a 14-year-old sister and an 11-year-old brother. My parents really want to adopt a baby, it doesn't matter from which country, but they think they're too old. They don't really want to adopt an older child because of behavioural problems we've seen with many other children we know who were adopted later in life. Is there any country that would allow an adoption of a baby by my parents? They're really loving parents who would just love to have one more in the family.

Answer 1

The only thing to consider is the fairness to this child.  When he or she is grown - 18 and is graduating high school - they will be, what, nearing their 70's?  So instead of looking forward to having kids and sharing them with "grandma and grandpa", most likely, "grandma and grandpa" won't be around much longer.

I faced a similar situation, losing my adoptive parents before I was 23.  I had no father to walk me down the aisle, my children will never know their grandparents, it is very lonely and painful to lose yet another set of parents at such a young age.

While they may live on well into their 90's, really, why don't they just look forward to your grandkids or give their love to an older child who they can be around for?  Or take in foster children in the area, who need the stability and love that they can provide?

IF it IS a baby they desire to care for, how about becoming a crisis nursery for families in need?  They may not be taking a baby as a permanent family member, but the help they are providing is immeasurable.

There are many ways in which they can provide very valuable contributions into the lives of babies and children.  But from someone who was adopted by older parents and had to lose them when I was young, and face that tremendous pain, I hope they consider the ramifications to the child.

Answer 2

I'm sure there are some countries who are desperate to given children to couples of any age, but not the usual ones.  Some actually have stricter rules about it than the US.  Even if you got a newborn now, your dad would be 71 (if still alive) when he/she is graduating highschool.  It would be more fair to the adopted child to get one who is older and won't potentially lose a parent while they are so young.

Answer 3

It varies by country, or, domestically, by state. Your parents are certainly not so old that they can't adopt from somewhere.

May I make a suggestion, though? If your parents are concerned about their age, then why not at least consider a child who isn't an infant? There are many children in foster care who will have trouble finding homes because they aren't babies, and older parents could provide a very appropriate placement for them. I know your parents have concerns about it, but I think they should at least research that option.

Older children need families too. It does present some challenges, but these children aren't bad or broken. Love and stability would go a long way toward helping them. Maybe your parents should at least consider adopting a foster child who is past the infant stage?

Answer 4

They should consider fostering.  The greatest foster parents I know are in their 60's (they specialize in special needs infants, like those born adicted to drugs) and when we went through the foster parent certification ourselves there were several older couples.  It would be a way for them to spread their love and their parenting skills to many, many children who really need it.

Also, if any of those children should be placed for adoption, as the foster parents, they would get preference should they choose to adopt.  

I really encourage you and them to look into fostering first.

Answer 5

Most countries have an age limit that would make your parents too old, but assuming they are in the US they can still adopt domestically.

Answer 6

Make a call to some of your local agencies and to your local CAS office to find out any age restrictions.  I'm sure you will find out they are not too old to adopt domestically.

Answer 7

i think as long as the people in charge of the adoption see that your parents take care of you and your siblings well then there should be no problem.  sure you're parents are a little on the older side, but they're obviously qualified to take care of and raise children.  plus, they have all of you guys there to help pitch in with this new baby and i'm sure having a new addition to the family like that would bring everyone so much closer.  

Answer 8

It's true your parents are older than many adoptive parents, but there is no age limit to parental love.

All the best.

Answer 9

I can tell you they are not to old . Im 46 too and my wifes younger however in our search we are finding out most countrys are ok with it theyll say at lease 25 and older but no age limit look up aboption in each country and it will let you know requirments also ukraine  is a good place to start your search  

Answer 10

If your parents are considering international adoption, the answer is, "It depends."  Some country progams have rules for the ages of the adoptive parents, others do not.  Some may not adopt infants/toddlers to parents over a certain age.  The idea is that the parents need to have a reasonable life/health expectancy.  

I will say that older children don't necessarily come with "a lot of problems."  While most international adoptions involve infant/todders, there are many, many more school age children and sibling groups available for adoption.  There are also many children in the US foster care system that need homes as well.

Good luck.