Are my parents too strict or is it just me?

Question

im 19 yrs. old and a sophmore in college. i have a 3.5 gpa in college and i would say that i am pretty responsible. compared to my other friends' parents, my parents just seem so strict with such little things...but i dont know if its just me or if they really are. for example, my job for the summer finished a couple of weeks ago so i'm at home with my two brothers until school starts. so while my parents were at work one day, i decided to take my little brother on a bike ride around our neighborhood which is a good neighberhood. we had a lot of fun and my dad found out we went. he said that we shouldn't have gone without him and said that we can't go again unless he's home. i talked to him and told him that we were fine, we just went rode around the neighborhood and came right back. so, we wanted to go today and he said that we can go while he's gone but that we have to call him when we return back home. after giving him an attitude about the situation, he tells me how some girl at a mall was approached by some guy who tried to rob her. i know kids are very precious to their parents and it only takes one incident to tragically ruin things but do you think this is a little much?? what happens when i go out in the real world?? please leave your comments and thanks for reading this!...i know it was kind of long, sorry!

Answer 1

As a father I understand completely.  I know how it feels to wonder if my wife and children are safe.  I don't think it is strict, it's just a phone call, I think it's care.   I think you father may be more concerned for you brother, than you being responsible.  Although you are 19 and responsible, a parent feels that no one can handle a situation better than them.  Also legally your father is responsible for your brother, even when your with him.  We need more father's like yours and then we wouldn't have teens selling drugs on the streets.  You spoke to him, he listened, and loosened the rules some, that's a father who listens, cares, and respects your point of view....again, it's  just a phone call.  

Answer 2

that does sound like a bit of overkill in my opinion... by the way you write you sound like a relatively mature 19 year old, but you know how parents tend to always see their kids as their little kids. I'm almost 30 and sometimes my mom still seems surprised that I am awake before noon on a weekend day lol... I remember when I was about 24... I was finishing up my master's degree , I have a college degree and a bachelors already, but my mother would still ask me if I had "done my homework"... and I wasn't even living at home anymore at that point LOL

Dunno what you can really do about the situation though. It's not like him having you call every time you go somewhere can stop anything bad from happening... You will be going out in the real world, he will have to let go, but it sounds like it will take time and he's not going to do  it very willingly.

Keep being responsible and mature and they will have to trust you.

Answer 3

my parents are really strict too and im 21 its really really hard because i want to move out but i dont have the money and they would be mad at me and on the other hand i live under their roof so i feel like i need to follow their rules but sometimes u have to push it a lil by lil cuz if u dont they will try to prevent u from doing things b4 hand if u show them its ok maybe they will be better with it

Answer 4

they sound just like my parents used to be. they babied me like crazy. i was their only child though and a girl....

just move out! or tell them straight up listen, i'm 19, of age and i'm (whatever you're doing). they'll learn to deal with it.

that's what i had to. mine tried to give me a 10 o'clock curfew at 18!!!!  

Answer 5

Get the book the " Gift of Fear " by Gavin De Becker and read it with your parents.  It is a great book for you to read right now and it is an excellent book for them to read as well.  Then reassure them that they have tought you well and of course know that they adore you.

Good Luck

Answer 6

I'm a mom of three and usually very strict. Although I see your parents point it does seem a little extreme given the fact you are 19 years old. My younger sister is 16 and she has taken my two 6 year olds out for walks. We live in a very small safe town and sometimes I too worry alittle but it is more of a maturity issue than a fear of "bad guys." My other sister is 20 and I would feel completely comfortable with her and my kids. If you are completely responsible than your parents may just be overprotective. Then again there could be some underling reasons for their mistrust in you not mentioned here. Regardless if you are living in their home rent free you need to abide by their rules and respect them although you may not agree. I would just not take your brother out again with out permission. If they are not letting you out of the house that is a different story. You are an adult and not in a bad area...that would be weird. If you are babysitting your siblings I would have serious discussion with you parents because its not fair to be confined to the house all day. Especially if you are not getting compensated.

Answer 7

it seems like you dad is a little strict... maybe hes just scared something might happen. which if something does happen there might not be nothing he could do about it. but getting mad because you took your brother out for a bike ride is weird. you should talk to him about this..

Answer 8

Its hard for parents to let their kids spread their wings. But if you live your life in fear every day, then you won't have much of a life.

You can enjoy things and still be vigilant about the dangers around you.

k

Answer 9

Maybe he is not only thinking about you but also your little brother.  I guess it is better to be safe then sorry.  But, I totally know where you are coming from.  It gets to be real annoying at times.  Soon you will be on your own and won't have to deal with this.  

Maybe your parents watch a lot of TV.  Haven't you noticed that on those Dateline or City Confidential shows, people always say that their neighborhoods were so safe they would not feel the need to lock their doors and that they never expected something like this to happen in this town?  Crimes can happen anywhere, even in your neighborhood.    

Answer 10

I think your dad really loves you and he just doesn't want anything bad to happen too you, but still you should be able to take your brother out for a bike ride if its a SAFE neighborhood

I think that your dad is a little to strict.

Answer 11

I think it's not because of your age.  My older son is 15 and he sometimes takes his little brother age 11 for a bowl of noodle in a restaurant. I told him I need to know every time he's out especially with his brother and I remind him has to take the cell phone with him. I'm just so scare he cannot control the behavior of the younger one cos' he might go wild sometimes. What if they have an argument on the way home? Or some one just kidnap them from a car? As a parent, I am responsible to know every minute where my kids are. It's for safety.

Even for adult, you still need to tell your family (parents or spouse) of where you're going and when will be home so in case you did not come home on time they'll know where to look for you. Be responsible and don't let your family to worry about you.