Are my parents undervaluing me or am I being paranoid?

Question

From when I was a little kid, my parents have always thought it unnecessary to buy me presents for my birthday, or reward me with anything if I achieved something. I never had a big birthday party when I was younger, or even a small one at that, because my parents thought it would be too much of a fuss. I get birthday presents now, but only because I pestered them. They won't let me go to prom next year when I'm 16, because as muslims they think it's not "respectable" for a girl to be seen out with men like that.

Answer 1

It sounds like culture clash to me.  They seem to love you, but are engrained in the ways of the culture they grew up in.  You have been exposed to different culture and apparently identify more with it.  I doubt they undervalue you, espcecially since they don't want you to do something that's not respectable in their eyes.  It must be a tough situation to be in.  Maybe if they meet the boy you want to go to dance with and/or one of your friends' parents or a teacher they respect explains to them that this is a normal American function, they will let you go.  Good luck...it sounds like you will have many more culture clashes in the future.  Be understanding of where they're coming from.  :)

Answer 2

Your parents are NOt undervaluing you. they simply have different beliefs and ideals. That doesnt make either of you right or wrong.

Answer 3

Maybe it's a little of both. i mean my parents get me gifts for my b-day but not as a reward for something. well..it depends what it is. but anyway i think maybe if its bothering i this much then u shud just talk to them about it. they'll understand. they are after all ur parents.

Answer 4

Honestly I think both.  They should just have known you would want praise and presents.  But i guees the Prom thing is religion.

Answer 5

You are not being paranoid you are just living in a culture with attitudes different than the western world.

Answer 6

well, i mean im a Christian, and I dont know how ur religion works,  but no disrespect 2 them (tell them, that u will only b 16 once, and or young once, ask them, didn't they want 2 do something like this when they were young.)  so let them know PROM is a big night, and it will NEVER COME BACK AGAIN!  prove 2 them u r a responsible young lady..

my mom got mad at me 1 time, and told me i couldn't go 2 prom with my bf of 1 year, and 7 months, and i was upset, she changed her mind, cause he is such a respectful boy, and its been so long that we've been going out. plus we've know each other 2 years before going out.

Answer 7

if this are there beliefs than u have to respect that and the fact that there ur parents.  u may think it sucks but they believe what they are doing is right. -also there are a lot of religions that don't acknowledge birthdays or holidays

Answer 8

You said it, they are MUSLIMS!!

Sorry but you got stuck with the wrong religion for fun.