Are our parents oblivious to our lifestyles outside of our homes?

Question

I went away to college last year, and i started partying, smoking, doing whatever college kids do. Then i cam home for the summer and continued this same lifestyle with my friends from home (i partied before college just not too much). My mom thinks i am a perfect daughter who does nothing but "have sleepovers" with her best friends, and hang out with girls only. she would never know that i have had s*x !!!

she never questions my actions, trusts me with everything, and would be so upset if she found out i ever had a sip of beer!

do you think she knows about my other life, or she is just completely oblivious!?

Answer 1

No she does not know about your secret life she has put all her trust in your good judgment without question. Now, what are you going to do when it comes out and she is disappointed in you? Guarantee she will be badly hurt as you are hiding everything from her. Maybe you should confide in her, a little at a time, so she can continue to trust you. Careful not to break the mother daughter bond it can be devastating for both of you.

Answer 2

as a mom who had 2 sons go to college.We are not stupid .We just hope you make the right decisions .Party if you want to but remember some day you will have to grow up .Both of my sons have great lives now with children and great jobs .I'm sure you are fine too.But don't think for one minute that your mom thinks you are the perfect princess.

Answer 3

She either has her head so far up her butt( a lot of parents do) that she really IS oblivious to what you are doing to destroy your life, OR she is afraid she will make you mad and lose you for good.

Go ahead,have s*x,what happens when you end up pregnant?s*x makes babies and ALL birth control HAS a failure rate.You RISK making a baby EVERY TIME you have s*x.Condoms do NOT protect against herpes and aids regardless of what you have been told hon.

Next, they catch you doing pot on campus you're out.

If they catch you drinking and you are underage(they have ahd a problem with this) on campus you are out.

All that time and money lost.

Hope you'll be bale to pass a drug test for a job and continue to pass it after you get one.

These are the things you are risking for your friends.Do THEY care if these things you are risking can happen to you?No they smoke their dope and say "chill out dude it can't happen to you, and if it does,oh well it'll all work itself out".

Answer 4

As a parent it is something called trust. She is trusting that her child - who she raised and sacrificed for will make the right decisions in life.

I do not think she is completely oblivious - she knows you have a life - but she is hoping that you will live it in a fashion that is productive.

As a college student you are going to party - but realize there are many people in this world that take partying to far - In college I had classmates that wound up kicked out of school (academic probation & then suspension / pregnant or fathered a child / dropped out of school to support (or take care of their child /  in jail / prison / on drugs / became alcoholics - etc. They lost focus on why they were in college because they were partying to much. This is a phenomena that happens at all colleges - when people are not making the right decisions at the appropriate time.

I almost fell into the trap of losing focus and partying to much - I had to realize and get my focus back - I was there to obtain a degree - this was done by passing my academic courses and not by partying all the time. I did not want to disappoint my mother who worked so hard to support her children as a single mother.

The question should be:

Have I lost focus on why I am in college?

Do I want to make my parents proud of how they raised me by focusing on my education?

I am not advocating that a person should not party (some) - but don't forget the primary reason why you are in college and make wise decisions - it will determine which path you take in life.

Answer 5

I sure hope that she is just acting as though she is oblivious. In today's day and age how can there still be parents with this mentality??  

Answer 6

She probably worries about that stuff, but trusts you to make good decisions.  

Answer 7

She probably knows, but you wants to come forward. Moms knows everything.