Are out of state wedding guests responsible for paying their own lodging bill?

Question

My girlfriend and her boyfriend are planning their wedding. This is a second marriage for both of them and they are trying to keep it simple and not as extravagant as their first weddings. They live in one state while most of their family and some friends live in the state where both grew up and left. There appears to be a conflict as to whether or not the bride and groom are responsible for paying their out of state guests lodging bill or if the out of state guests are responsible. We both have checked the websites and have gotten very little help. Does anyone know what the general rule of thumb is?

Answer 1

guests pay their own bills

they aint oblidged to come, they are geting the privilege of being invited

Answer 2

My brother and 2 sisters all got married within the past 18 months, and all the weddings were out of state for me.  I paid my own travel expenses, and the travel expenses for my entire family (hubby and 2 teens).  

The bride and groom are not responsible for paying for their families out of town travel expenses.  It's nice if they volunteer, but the families shouldn't be expecting it.  

Answer 3

The guest pay for their own lodging.

Answer 4

If the guest wants to come, the guest has to pay. No one is forcing them to attend otherwise. I think its a bit rude of a guest to expect it actually. Everybody wants something for nothing these days.

Answer 5

Its absolutely the responsibility of the guests to pay for their own lodgings!

Answer 6

The bride and groom do not have to pay for the lodging, however they should find where some cheap hotels are located as well as more expensive ones (some people prefer pricey hotels)  They also should put together a care package in the rooms for there guest that will include possibly things to do in the area, a magazine, newspaper, deck of cards, munchies, etc.  

Why should the bride and groom pay for lodging, you wouldn't pay for there gas or plane ticket right-there is no difference.

Answer 7

Bride and groom are NOT responsible for paying for lodging (or any other accomodations) for out-of-state guests.

If the bride and groom WANT to assume the expense and can afford it ... great.  If not, it is always the burden of the guest to either assume the related costs of attending such an event, or to politely decline the invitation.

It is always up to the guest (even if the "guests" are family!) to decide whether to accept or decline an invitation.  Of course, family members are expected to attend, but the cost of lodging still rests on the person/persons who avail themselves of that lodging.

Answer 8

In the US, the status quo is that guests pay for their own lodging.

The bride and groom try to soften the blow by suggesting reasonable hotels, or securing a block of rooms at a hotel at a discount.

In some cases, the bride and groom might pay for the lodging of every guest, but it is not expected.

If the bride and groom know that hotel costs would prevent someone from coming, especially immediate family, they should discreetly offer to cover the costs for that guest.

Answer 9

Guests pay for their own lodgings, however my fiance's best friend is coming in from out of state and we are offering him our guest room to stay in so he doesn't have to pay for lodging. Is that a possibility here or are there too many people wanting to come?

Answer 10

yes out of state guest pay their own bill, bride maid pay for their own dresses and theyre actually in the wedding, no one is gonna pay for someone a short vacation all just so that they can see a wedding and so on

Answer 11

In the US, yes, it is the guests' responsibility.

I, however, feel it is the bride and groom's responsibility to find the best motels/hotels with a good rate, and reserve a block of rooms for their out-of-town guests. That way their guests are guaranteed a place to stay.

Answer 12

Yup! Guests foot the bill...

Answer 13

The guests pay. My family flew to my wedding. They live all over the place and my wedding was in Idaho. I had reserved a book of rooms at a hotel and everyone who was here for the wedding got a discount.

Answer 14

Unless the couple are millionaires, I have never heard of someone paying for their relatives lodging to attend their wedding.  If you can't afford to go, then kindly decline the invitation.  I'm sure the couple will understand.  

If you do decide to go, it might help if you think of it as if you are treating yourself to a vacation.  For the families that I know of that attended a wedding from out of state, they made their stay relaxing and enjoyable. They began their trip to begin close to the wedding date, then stayed a couple days later to play tourist (i live in Hawaii).