Are parents getting out of control with birthday parties for kids? What is next?

Question

When I was a kid it was cake with the family and 1 small gift- that was it. It was about spending time with your family- not getting things. Now it's bounce places, bowling, lazer tag, huge parties, tons of gifts and expensive large gifts from the parents..... it doesn't seem to end. In-fact it keep getting worst every year as the child gets older they want bigger and better! I personally think the parents are making their kids demented and putting to much importance on parties and gifts. What is your take on it?

And I am going to be a horrible parents when I refuse to let my child (don't have one yet) have these huge parties and gifts?

Answer 1

There is absolutley nothing wrong with parents giving their children a great birthday party or buying the child things the child would like to have. If the parents can afford it, great. Even those parents who can afford to give thier kids great things and dont, good for them too. I defintely buy things that my children need and that occasional wanted item. But my children also learn respect and learn to earn that item. Its not just given to them on a silver platter.  

Answer 2

I don't think your horrible.  However, if other people want to do it for their kids that is fine with me and I don't think it makes the child demented,

Answer 3

I don't think there is anything wrong with having a big party for your kids.  They are only little once and it is an important day.  I have a big party for my kids every year and I don't think there is anything wrong with it.  My kids are not going to be demnted because I am willing to put a little extra effort into there special day.  Its not like they get huge parties all year long.  There birthdays are very important and they deserve a nice party and gift.    

Answer 4

Well I hardly think the average person spends a grand on a party that is not normal. I generally spend about $150.00 to $200.00. We have a party at a place for friends, yes the whole class LOL and then we have a small one at home. The one at home we buy $ store decorations and I make the cake. The money is spent on the friend party (and gifts). And you cannot really make these statements until you have a child of your own. For one the kids have a wonderful time and it is nice to invite all the classmates and watch them all play together. If I spend $200.00 once a year on a party and gifts for my child I would not say that is too much if I can afford it without using credit, which I can.

People spends money on parties for friends and BBQ's so why is it so out of the question to spend a little extra once a year to celebrate your child? And I for one have it at a place because they clean up and I dont have 25 kids going crazy in my house LOL. And you can spend time with your family, and you can spend time with friends. A childs friends are a very important part of their life.

Everyone makes these kind of "I will never do this when I have kids" statements and once you have kids you will find yourself breaking some of those rules. But I think there are a lot worse things a parent could do that go overboard on a party (though a grand is insane). There are parents out there who do nothing for their kids birthdays, that is what you should be concerned with.

Answer 5

I agree with you 100%.  But I don't want to generalize, not all parents do that.

We had my daughter's first birthday party in March, and we went out of our way to keep it small and simple.  Not just this year because she is so young, but always.  I agree that there is too much emphasis on parties and gifts.  Fun, with some close friends and family is what's important to us.

Having said that, what constitutes "huge"?  Would hosting your child's birthday party at the local YMCA with swimming and crafts, pizza and cake, with about 4 - 5 children constitute extravegant?  Because that is my plan for next year.

Answer 6

Yes, for sure they are.

For our son, we had 'home parties' and WOW did the guests ever love them!

We would invite six to eight kids, and just plan some games, they just want time to fool around and talk, play music (depending on age), some great food (when younger, hot dogs, when older, pizza), cake and ice cream, open gifts - in general, they usually just wanted to play together.

I am a SAHM so had time to research and plan games, for example. For our son's birthday, he was into castles and medieval stuff so that was the 'theme' - all done on a dime, almost literally! I made paper banners for each Lady and Knight. When they each arrived, I embarrassed them by tooting on a horn and making a formal 'announcement' that each had arrived. Games were based on Merlin and Lady of the Lake - and quite fun (library research). Hit of the day was banana jousting in the backyard (keep in mind this was cool October). With garbage bags protecting their clothes, they literally did jousting in the yard with bananas and had a blast. These kids are now in high school, and still talk about my son's birthday as the best they ever went to!

Other years we did a car racing party, science party - stuff that lent itself to fun activities.

For one year, we did try the going to a pool at a hotel, having pizza and cake there after swimming - but that was only because I was very ill at the time, and my husband took over for doing that.

Yes, money was tight, so that was part of the reason we had these home parties. But actually the bigger reason was that it was more FUN for all the kids!

(Now, don't get me started on 'loot bags'.....lol)

Answer 7

I am one of the crazy parents. I just went to Party City on Saturday and spent a ton of money of Sesame Street party items for my son's birthday next month. I am also already thinking about when he is old enough to rent a big bouncer for his parties. I think it is just because he is my only baby and I want to give him everything I never had. If someone wants to spend money on a big party for their kids, why not. It's not hurting anyone.

Answer 8

I agree with you.  A party should be about just being together and playing for kids.  My daughter has a pool party every year with about 10 friends and I serve snacks and juice. We have music on,  we play a couple of games with items we have around the house and everyone always has a great time. That's all we do...nothing fancy.

Answer 9

No. you won't be a horrible parent.  It's ridiculous the things that are "normal" for birthday parties.  I have 4 kids, so I have had to learn how to make the day special for the kids without spending a fortune.  

We have a family "party" for each kid, and on certain birthdays, they get to have a "friend party".  And for a friend party, we only have cake and ice cream and I try to have a pinata so that I don't have to buy extra treats for treat bags.  It can be done in an affordable manner.

We live in an area where parties are crazy.  They have giant parties at Waterslide parks, or Chuck E. Cheese's.  I'm curious to see what parents say about our friend party.  (We are having one this Saturday....My daughter is turning 6, and this is her first friend party)

I agree with what  you said about the parents driving their kids crazy.  I think it's ridiculous the things we are teaching our children about gifts and parties.  It's like that with sports, and even classes in school.  Every kid gets a trophy and they even have graduation parties when kids finish Kindergarten.  It's a crazy world!!  

Answer 10

I don't see it that way.  I'm 24 and I always remember having bowling parties, lazer tag and some of those other parties you speak of.  My family was not rich by any means, but our birthdays were once a year, so we did special things.  I also have 11 cousins and I always remember them having the same type of parties.   We got nice gifts, invited our family (aunts, uncles, cousins...which was pretty large) and people from school.    Perhaps things where cheaper then, but really this isn't a new trend.  People have been having these types of parties for years.

As I got older, about 12/13; I stopped having the bigger parties.  It was more just small affairs with a few friends and my parents would get me larger ticket presents.    

But, really I don't agree with you at all.  I feel like nothing has really changed that much.  But, that's just my take on it.   If parents want to give their kids nice parties, that's there business.     But, I don't see any issue with it at all.  Birthdays are special and they happen once a year and children are only children once.  So, why not celebrate and have a really lovely party.

Answer 11

Yes they are.  Looking for an exciting place for a two year olds party is nutso.  All the needs or wants is cake with candles.