Are parents replaceable?

Question

I see so many people on here saying, "I don't really think of myself as raising someone else's child. This is MY child."

I realized that if children are replaceable (ie. a mother relinquishing, then having a second sibling to "make up for" the one she lost), it really wouldn't surprise me if adoption-ignorant people thought parents are replaceable as well.

Answer 1

Parents are not replaceable.  Children are not replaceable.  Human beings are not replaceable.  Someone else may do the parenting, but it doesn't stop the first parents from still being parents.  As an adopted person, I ended up with 4 parents.  I view all 4 of them as parents.  I've been fortunate enough to have relationships as an adult with 3 of them.  My first mother died before we could have a relationship in my adult years.

Answer 2

Yes parents can be replaced. My dad walked out 20 years ago and my new dad stepped in. He is my dad not the other guy.

And to set you straight, a mother relinquishing, then having a second sibling to make up for the one she lost,  That is c**p!

Anyone who puts a child up for adoption is doing the right thing for the child and they are very brave. You can never replace your children.They are all unique.

You obviously not a parent!

Answer 3

Dropping some sperm, or even providing the eggs and carrying a child in utero, does not a parent make.  

Parents are the ones who get up in the middle of the night to feed the baby whose little belly is too small to hold enough food to last more than three hours.  

Parents walk around with stains on their shirts of spit-up and formula.  

Parents clean up baby poopy butts that would make others gag.  

Parents pretend to be a  victim of some evil-doer so  their little 4-year-old superhero with a blanket cape can save them--and they do this 52 times in a row.

Parents pull the teeth of the six-year-olds, then put the tooth-fairy money under the pillow.

Parents explain  the school-yard bully (or try to).

Parents make sure their kids eat their vegetables and don't let them have desert till they've taken three bites of the roast beef.

Parents get plaster of Paris hand prints and popsicle-stick jewelry boxes.  Oh, and soup cans with glitter and glue that say "DAD."

Parents explain why their daughter can't change her name to Mily or Paris, and why she has to be in by 9 o'clock on school nights.

No wonder so many people on here say they are not raising someone else's kid.  The one who raises the kid, it's their kid.  They are Mom and Dad.

Answer 4

i would have preferred to be raised by my mother.

the aparents i got were awesome.

i would have preferred to be raised by my mother.

Answer 5

No.  

But I think a child can have and love fully, two sets of parents.  One doesn't diminish the other.

Answer 6

Yes parents are replaceable. i am adopted and my parents are the parents who raised me.

Answer 7

Remember that special pet you had? The one you spent your childhood with. The one who greeted you at the door after school, the one who nudged up to you and cuddled when you felt sad, the one who slept on your bed or near you when you were sick. you loved this pet and when it dies you are devistated and it takes some years to really move on. You can get new pets and you can love them just the same, but they will never ever match up to that first special pet.

Same goes for parents really. You can have different parents but they will never replace or should never replace the first ones.

So in conclusion-NO

Answer 8

I don't think you can replace a parent or a child, but I beleive that some times you try to fill an empty space with another person. Personally I feel that I have to sets of parents, ones who gave me life and ones who taught me how to live it. I can't imagine trying to replace one with the other.

Answer 9

When I said that I didn't think of myself as raising someone else's child, I did not for one minute think that I was the one and only mother. I felt like it was a "shared" responsibility.

My daughter has 2 mothers. This is an indisputable fact and one that only becomes confusing or threatening if the parents involved make it that way.

Answer 10

Are parents replaceable?  I think it depends on the situation. You look in the case if parent dies, and their spouse remarries, the kids get a new parent but it does not replace their deceased parent, or children of divorcee who remarry, kids can end up with other parents.

That said in  my case yes they were replaceable  but then again I don’t consider them parents, they never parented me.  Bfather did his job and paid for it too.  Bmother carried me and did her job. They merely donated some genetic material nothing more nothing less. I certainly do not wish I was raised by my biological  ÃƒÂ¢Ã‚€Âœparents” I would not have wanted to have been raised by a woman who was a, ho and drug addict and had a drinking problem, as well  periods of living on the streets.

Someone or something you love can never be replaced but i don't love my  bio"parents" so ...

Answer 11

Only in the fictional legal sense.

Answer 12

Huh?

Answer 13

No frickin' way.

Given a WISH, every adopted child would pick to be raised by their natural parents.  Just like children with divorced parents, who always wish their parents were married.

My amother SUCKED, but I remember once as a small child telling her I wished I'd come from her, because she seemed to NEED that so much.  I was lying.  What I'd really wished, was that I could have grown up with the mother God gave me.

Puddinhead:  

The actions you have described are those of a caretaker, a custodial parent.  They are necessary, not sufficient.

Your screen name is perfect, by the by.

Answer 14

Our son is the birth child of my husband's cousin. She and her boyfriend (his alleged bfather) broke his leg when he was three weeks old. They tried to set it themselves, and THREE days later, they WALKED with a three week old baby in a fold-up stroller to the hospital.  He was placed in protective custody, and the bparents were placed in jail, where they remain 10 months later.  

I understand a broken leg heals. He has no sign of this injury, however, if they can break a newborn's leg, what else are they capable of?  Do you really think these people should be raising this child?  Or do you think they should be "replaced" for the sake of the child?  

He'll know at least his birth mom. He sees his bio grandparents and his bio aunt. The boyfriend/his family don't seem to want anything to do with him. I have all the newspaper stories from his abuse.  I know he'll probably have issues with this. I'm not sure how he'll react when he finds out we changed his name around.  

He's my son. We are standing in as his parents and we love him very much. How that is going to affect him in the future is yet to been seen. But I do think someone had to step in for the birth parents, and I know there are other cases of more extreme abuse where the children were not better off with their bio parents.

Answer 15

I really, really like what a woman said here the other day:

"I'm a messy patch on a big hole."

I'm no replacement for anyone.  I'll do the best d**n job I can do, but I can't be who my kids wish they had.

No, parents are not replaceable.  You might be able to find a workeable substitute, but you've got to accept that this substitute can't possibly do better than nature.