Are people like these worth having in your life?

Question

After 28 years my birth "mum" has tried to walk back into my life and dictate to me how I should live my life, she's done pretty well for herself and I say good luck to her. What makes me angry is that she crashed my recent birthday party from which I stormed out, she then posted a letter explaining her reasons and a card through my door which I thought meant she was actually an alright person.. I'm really angry now as she keeps phoning me and causing trouble for the rest of the family by spreading totally untrue stories about them all. My wife says that I'm better off without her as she's only out to cause trouble and my wife said also that you'd think someone who had not seen their son all those years, would give them more than a cheap card. For me personally it's not about money or anything like that, it's the fact that she thinks she can walk into my life and take over, tell me exactly who I should see and what I should do.

Do you think I should tell her to leave me alone?

Answer 1

Your mum can only ruin your life if you let her. I met my father when I was 18, and I no longer talk to him by choice. Put simply, she ditched you.....now it is your turn to ditch her.  

You have enough love in your life, your wife gives you that.  You never needed this woman, and you don't need her now.

Answer 2

She has huge emotional problems and will only continue to cause trouble. Yes, tell her to leave you alone. She won't do it, however; so start putting up boundaries on her involvement.

Answer 3

Once a poor mother, always a poor mother. If she really cared about you, she wouldn't have walked out on you all them years ago. You can cope on your own without your birth mother. Stick to those who have been there for you, because they are the ones who you need to thank. Tell her goodbye and goodnight, and you don't need her, her money or her cheap cards to make you happy, you have a loving wife and a blissful life excluding her.

Answer 4

ask her where she was the last 28 yrs, and what the big deal is all of a sudden, tell her you managed without her long enough, she can crawl back under the rock she came out from

Answer 5

i cannot tell u exactly how you are feeling but i am in a situation that can kinda relate to you, i am 20 and i am a step mum to a 7 year old boy might as well be my own, im more close to him than his dad, but anyway he hasnt seen him "mum" in 2 years and even before that it was maybe once or twice a year.... i dont think she is worth having in your life, she has no right to be, she may have give birth to you but she doesnt know you and im not too sure but it sounds like she didnt bring you up, i know that in a few years when my boy is older that he may not want to know her and we will definately respect that as he has a family here with us, and as for the lies she is saying i would just steer clear of her just tell her exactly what you think and that you dont  want to know and she hasnt been there all your life so y should she be now, you have to be straight up and honest with her ... hope that helps xx

Answer 6

I think you should tell her to butt out.

Someone cannot just come into your life and take over. Where was she when you were a little boy and needed her.

Answer 7

definitely tell her to back off but don't cut her out - you'll regret when she's gone (dead).

Answer 8

No she has no right to march in your life and try and be a mom after 28 years but remember she is your mother. You should sit her down and tell her how you feel honestly and she may or may not get upset but as long as you have said what you need to say you will feel better. She needs to understand that you are a man now, not a little boy. If you dont stand up to her soon, she will continue to walk all over you. Good Luck

Answer 9

I think that you need to tell her exactly how you feel. If she sees what effect she is having on you then she might understand that what she is doing is causing you problems. You need to explain that she cant simply take you over because she is your mum, and that although you'd like to have her in your life, if her bad attitude continues then she will have to face the consequences of not seeing you again.

Hope this helps.

Answer 10

No i dont think there worth having in ur life. That is just rude 2crash ur party especialy if its ur "mum".                                           Can u please answer my question                                                       http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

Answer 11

she has no rights could you not try to be friends with her

Answer 12

Listen to your wife

Answer 13

You are one lucky man that you were not raised by this lunatic.  She made a great decision 28 years ago.  It was probably good to meet her, but she has no boundaries.

Ask her to leave you alone.