Are ppl who had kids younger happy? dont they wish they would of done more?

Question

warning this starts off as a touchy debate- but my real prupose are aspects, dynamics and revelations from various perspectives, (hence the slight provocativeness of it): pls be biased- do not take this personal!! but look at it objectively...

i dumped this guy a little while after i found out that he was in his early 20's and had a 2 yo gal... no problem, but i was finishing undergraduate school going on to pursue my graduate degree (and im going beyond that) and i did date for fun... but when i realized that we were just lust- though he wanted more... and that we would of never go any deeper when he told me that he had no idea what he wanted to do w his life and had never taken a college course in his life... i knew that i was much more driven intellectually... i thought that common sense child or not when you have one or you want to plan on having some someday (i know "things" happen/ but he's shared custody w his x for 2 yrs) that youd want the best for them. that's when i knew he was a lazy az... anyhow i saw him recently and he thinks he still has a chance! it's been 2 yrs and he is the same person 2 yrs ago! im so insulted! dont tell me raising a perfectly happy child doesnt make a difference bc that's total BS! money is a powerful tool- a wise person can handle it... not all wealthy ppl's kids turn out to act like their made... just like not all lower class children are jail prone right? lets have a debate...

Answer 1

If this man is not on welfare, or doing illegal activity, has a productive and  happy life, there is no problem.  

Yes we have to have money to live, but we don't have to live to have money.  Big difference between the two.

I would rather have an uneducated garbage man who loves me, respects me, is faithful, treats me kindly, and is there for me, than an educated, disloyal, greedy, selfish, abusive man.

My point is this, what makes a good man is not what is in his bank account,  or degrees hanging on the wall.  

Answer 2

I think Parenting is a special mixture between making sacrifices and still knowing how to take care of yourself.  One sacrifice that shouldn't be made is making your way up in life(without being workaholic)  Even if your wish I think a parent should make their child work for what they want, while you make sure they get what they need.  Parenting is about making the right sacrifices.  Like I have a friend who thinks she is sacrificing college so she could work for her kids, but then she goes out and parties every weekend.  I think you should sacrifice partying and go to college.  The best thing to learn about money is don't let it motivate you.  Or your powerful tool has just turned into a suicide weapon.  You should work for dreams and goals.  Better life for kids and yourself.  

I'm not really sure which part you were trying to ask about so I went off of all that made me start thinking.  

Answer 3

not sure what the question is.

should we concentrate more on being successful and have children later? each of us have our own motivations and dreams/desires/goals.

my mom got her doctorate and currently lives off an inheritance. she never made enough $$ to support even just herself.

my stepmom got her master's while studying in france. she made a good living for a few years but it's been downhill for years.

my dad never spent a day in college, had no clear career goals until later in life. he ended up making a few smart decisions and retired in his 40s and lives.... let's just say extremely comfortably.

a good living, a wealthy home, all the toys. none of that guarantees anything. raising a happy child depends on the kind of parent you are and how important your child is to you. sure, it's easier with a healthy paycheck but it doesn't make you a better parent. how many athletes are out there talking about how much they love their momma and how they grew up in poverty.

yes, money is power. so is true love. and that's what good parents have for their children no matter their socioeconomic status.

why is it a bad thing to not have many goals beyond being the best parent you can be given your circumstances. whether his daughter was "planned" or not. what on this planet is more beautiful or more of a gift than a dad who loves his kids?

Answer 4

I think that, if a person doesn't want to have children until they feel prepared, it is a wise, individual choice.

Sometimes, pregnancy happens at a younger age -- other times, it's purposeful.  

Personally, i think it's a better choice to plan for these things. After all, a child changes our lives forever.  So, college, career, saving money and planning probably work out better as far as stability, security and maturity is concerned.

take care.

Answer 5

I was raised poor and was a good person...was married to a man who made lots of money and was a good person...I left that *** and am now with a man that I love completely and am poor again... I'm still a good person.  I don't think money has anything to do with what kind of a person you are.

I had my son when I was 26...and I'm proud to say that it was my first pregnancy.  I didn't want to get pregnant before that cuz I wasn't ready.  I have no regrets about raising my son cuz I waited til I was ready and was a great mom to him.  

Bottom line hun is that age or wealth doesn't make you a good or bad parent.  If you are a good person to begin with, you will probably be a good parent.  

Are you a good person?  I wonder about that if you think a college education makes a good man.