Are pregnant women reinforcing gender stereotypes when they want to know the s*x of the baby beforehand?

Question

I've read numerous answers to the question "would you want to know whether you are having a boy or a girl?"

Many of the responders who said "yes" included a bit about the ease of shopping for baby and newborn supplies and decorating a room, indicating that there are certain items appropriate for a girl that are somehow inappropriate for a boy, and vice versa.

Really, is the child going to care if the crib is blue or pink, or if the jumper says "cutest grandson/granddaughter ever"?

Answer 1

For our first child I DID NOT find out, but was surprised happily with a girl and the dumbest thing I have ever heard in a hospital.

One minute before delivery ...

Nurse- Do you know what you are having?

me - No

Nurse - What do you want?

me - A Boy

Nurse - What will you do if its a girl??

--pause-- I look at her like she is the stupidest person I have ever met....

me - Name her and take her home...duh

Ta Dah!! Its a Girl! What did I do we named her and took her home, 4 years later she's still with us. Stupid people.

Next child, we had a clothes offer from my sister who lives 1200 miles away if we had a boy, so I found out what I was having with the second just to save the expense of buying boy cloths, which was good because number 2 was a boy.

For number 3 we might go back to waiting the full nine months because we have clothes either way now, and yes I am not one to put my boy in a dress.  

As for decorating the nursery we got Winnie the Pooh items so we could use them with ALL our children not just one s*x. I don't have that kind of money to waste.

ps. White works well when they are babies as you can bleach out all the spit up.  I really only had "going out" outfits.

Answer 2

There may be some truth to your question.

I can recall a conversation many years ago to that effect.  I suggested to a new mother that it wouldn't matter if her baby boy had something pink in his room or was wrapped in a pink blanket, and she became hysterical at the thought.  So I conform to gender stereotyping where newborns are concerned.  Pink for girls, blue for boys, yellow if I don't know, and everybody's happy.  No more new moms shrieking at me.  Actually these days I just give 'em a gift card to wherever their baby registry is.  Even better, a check - green is everybody's favorite color.

Answer 3

Yes, some parents reinforce gender stereotypes by decorating the nursery in a certain way.  I have never been pregnant, but I've been with my friends and usually it's other people who want to know.  My friend didn't care, and everyone was shocked that she didn't want to know.  You need to know - To pick out names (had one of each picked out already), to decorate the nursery and to buy clothing (ever heard of green or yellow?).  It was crazy.  (She found out it was a boy because at one ultrasound he exposed himself and there was no hiding the fact.)

I hate pink for girls and blue for boys.  I usually buy gifts in soft greens and yellows or bright primary colors  specifically to protest gender based color schemes.

Answer 4

Ok, this is a serious attempt (and a prime example) of some one graphing at a reason to rant here in the GWS forum. It’s obvious you had no other talking points that you could raise for questioning but this one.

The reason why most women AND MEN want to know the s*x of the child prior to purchasing bedding, room décor, or clothing is because it would look really silly if you had a little boy wearing a shirt that that said “Daddies little Girl”. Or a girl in a room decked out with “Bob the Builder”. Everyone who’s either had a child, or knows someone who’s had a child understand that for a specific gender you purchase certain things. You don’t buy a pink blanket for a boy and you don’t buy a blue “little slugger” onesie for a girl. If you do, that child will grow up really confused as of to who he/she really is. The colors, items, and clothing that you introduce to a child at a young age is what helps to shape gender identity. If you don’t have a problem dressing your little boy as a girl, so be it. But be prepared for him to demonstrate some very disturbing behavior through out his developmental years. People don’t think it’s a problem for a little girl to play with toy cars but they tend to frown when you give a little boy a baby doll and say go play. It has nothing to do with discrimination, or gender stereotypes. But everything to do with helping to shape that Childs personality. Now, on the other hand, if you where given GI Joe and really wanted to play with Barbie, then that’s another story. And that’s a complaint that you need to take up with mom and dad, not us here. For me personally, when I do have a child I want to know the s*x so that I can purchase the right things based on his/her s*x. I will raise my children with equal love, but I refuse to raise my son to be a man knowing I’ve dressed him in pink and purple in various stages of his life (I can’t stand to see any man wear pink for that matter), and I won’t raise my daughter like I would raise my son. I’ll raise her to be strong, but she will know that she was born a girl, she is a girl, and hopefully she will choose a man as her spouse. If not, I will accept them either way, but neither one of my children will say I (as their mother) confused them as children as of to who they are.

Answer 5

I suppose since the reason people want to know if there kids are boys or girls is to buy pink stuff for girls and blue for boys.

I don't see anything wrong with it, some stereo types arn't harmful like "girls should wear pink"

The only real problem created by that is cross gender hand me downs

Answer 6

Let expectant mothers reinforce gender socialization. When your kids start school, if they are boys, they will be expected to act like boys, and if they are girls, they will be expected to act like girls.

Answer 7

I didn't know what I was having with any of my 3.  And each one was the best surprise EVER, and each one was EXACTLY what I wanted - even if it had been the other s*x.  

We decorated our babies' rooms with neutral colors and Noah's Ark themes.

Answer 8

yes, they are.  

gender conditionings starts at birth.  

Like the blue for boys, pink for girls.

If we were concerned about the infants input....the colors black, white and red would be used.  For those are the only colors that can be seen for the first few weeks....and it is months until the child we be able to see baby pink and blue.

Answer 9

I found out my daughter's gender as a side effect. I had an amniocentesis at 16 weeks of pregnancy. It didn't affect my shopping...I hate the "pink is for girls, blue is for boys" cr@p. In fact, her nursery is mostly blue, because I like blue. And I dress her in whatever I please...I shop both "sides" of the baby store.

It was helpful, though, to know in advance that we weren't going to have to have a discussion about circumcision (I was against, my husband said he would have wanted it done). We  knew early on that we didn't need to proceed with that conversation.

It was also nice to know which pronoun to use. It gets tiresome saying, "When he or she is born..." and helps you narrow down the list of names you have to agree on.

Answer 10

When my now 28 year old was born I was sure he was a she.  I took a pretty coral hand crocheted dress for my little girl to wear home from the hospital.     Thank goodness I got a few gifts while I was hospitalized.  

We made sure we knew the s*x of the other  3 during the pregnancy.

Answer 11

No, I don't think so. I think it's just a matter of wanting to know.

Answer 12

There is no reason to know before hand other than so you can TELL  people when they ASK. This is a "social thing" and a way to brag. Especially if your having a boy.

It's all superficial to be honest. The gender of the child doesn't matter until it starts walking and talking.

Answer 13

If you ever want a real education, take in a foreign exchange student. We just sent one back overseas.  During the 10 months she was here, we had a child placed for adoption, and he's a boy.  We knew he was coming since around the time she arrived, but we didn't know when.  

Anyway, we were at a major department store one evening before Halloween walking through the baby department.  I held up an adorable blue outfit, and she totally didn't understand why I'd associate the blue with a male infant. She proceeded over to the pumpkin t-shirts and held one up and said that she preferred something like that.

She comes from a culture that doesn't associate blue with boys and pink with girls. I have no doubt in my mind that she understood that she was born a girl and was expected to marry a man someday.

Answer 14

I happen to be directing my history reading at the moment along the thread of female infanticide.  Humans have always had to wait until the baby is born and then kill it upon determining it is female during times of increased female infanticide.  With prenatal testing science and technology, we can now determine the s*x of the fetus.  The bioethical concern is the use of fetal s*x determination as a basis for termination or continuation of the pregnancy.  In other words, we can now kill females BEFORE they're born if we don't want them in a more modern technologically advanced form of female infanticide.  Chosing to abort a fetus based on s*x is bioethically wrong.

In the Harry Potter books and movies, the children enter Hogswart School as a pluralistic egalitarian conglomerate of individual children.  Then, they are arbitrarily divided into "Houses" which are rivals ideologies that wage war against each other.  Tribal level of social consciousness stuff. We damage ourselves with those arbitrary divisions and we damage our children by mentally dividing them up in our minds in the "Boy House" or the "Girl House" before the poor things have even been born.

Answer 15

It's no different than buying all the "gender stereotype" stuff AFTER the child is born.  Which people do anyways, even if they didn't know the s*x of the baby before birth.

(Actually, what always makes me curious are people who go all out for their kid's first birthday.  Really, does the kid remember?  No, it's all for the parents anyways.)

Answer 16

If I were to have a child, I would decorate their room in a non-gender-specific way, so stuff like that would be irrelevant. I'd just want to know for the h**l of it.

Answer 17

When I was pregnant. I didn't ask because I didn;t care as long as they were healthy which she was.

A few married couples wanted to know they were getting the room ready one couple's Dr said their Child would be a girl and they got all pink. turns out he was a boy. he was so cute. that's another reason they can be wrong you know.

I don't know about other parents i guess they just like to know. who can tell. God Bless

Answer 18

I wanted to know the s*x of my child before he was born.  I wanted to know because I was ******* excited to have a child and just wanted to know the ******* s*x.  Oh but when I did find out the s*x I rushed out and purchased a large p***s to hang on his door.  Get pregnant, and then get back to us.

Answer 19

No the kid's not gonna care. But the family likes to be prepared for what is in store. Especially if it's a first-born. Most want their first to be male.

Answer 20

idk really but id prefer my boy to have a manly room and my girl a femenine room

Answer 21

Honestly, why do you care and what does it matter? Do you really think the genders are social constructs? That somehow boys and girls do not have natural differences? If you do, I have to think you have truly drunk the Kool Aid and that you should not waste your time asking questions since your mind will already be made up.

Answer 22

I knew what my younger daughter was going to be before she was born because I underwent amniocentesis and did tell the technician that I wanted to know the s*x. The only real difference that I can think of was that we only looked at girls' names when choosing a name. We never even looked at boys' names.