Are questions being posted just to *bait* people into answering so that their answers can be refuted?

Question

I've been thinking about this for awhile. I am serious about my question and truly want to know what you think. Are there people on here who are asking questions to bait people into answering so that others can come on and tell them how wrong they are? In other words, are some using this as their personal way of debating or attacking views that differ from their own? Or are the questions being asked for valid reasons and wanting everyone to answer?

Reasons I ask this are: the blocking that occurs; the "calling out" that occurs; the overuse of thumbs up/thumbs down for no legitimate reason; the amount of reporting that occurs, etc. I say I'm *serious* about my question because I want to be here to offer answers only if my opinions/knowledge are truly what is being sought.

Answer 1

Yes, just go to the adoption forum and you will see at least 2 or 3 here that serve no purpose other than to bait. It is a tactic used to belittle people and their feelings because when the bait is taken they come out in groups ready to abuse and terrorize.

Answer 2

I think so yes. I seem to have an inkleing that people would say that about my questions too.

I ask my questions, because i want to here what other people think. I have strong opinions on adoption. so what? Its only fair that I get my say just like the rest of them on here.

Yeah, i get thumbs down alot, even if my anwers are agreed with.

I do have strong opinions about certain things and i do not intend to hide my opinions in fear of upsetting people on here.

I will never apologise on here again, as my appology was wasted on quite a few on here. Therefore, i will keep posting and if its contraversial to some people, then dont answer!!

Answer 3

I don't think the intention of anyone is to 'bait', but rather to open up the discussion to all views.  

Some people may not want to hear views that may challenge their long-held beliefs about adoption being win-win for everyone involved, but those are exactly the people that need to hear that for some people in the 'triad' being adopted is not all roses and sweetness...for some of us it's downright painful, and we are struggling to cope with some very real issues that have followed us into adulthood.  

When I first came in this section a few months ago, I was shocked at how many thumbs down I got for talking about how difficult it has been for me being adopted.  I left because of that, but later decided to come back because I decided that I have a valid voice that deserves to be heard.  

I was pleasantly surprised to see that in the short time I had been gone, other adoptees with similar experiences as mine were speaking up.  We DO deserve to be heard...it baffles me that any AP or PAP wouldn't want to know about how we feel...we are, after all, the grown-up 'babies' that you all are adopting.  Why would you not want to hear us?  Would you tell your little adoptee baby or child to shut up and go to a different forum to air their hurt and confusion about being adopted?  I sincerely hope not.  

Also, the only person that consistently blocks and calls out, is one very strange pro-adoption maniac, who can't seem to control her emotions, and consistently goes on rants, attacking and calling people 'n***s'.  

Otherwise, it seems to be pretty civil around here.  If you don't want to answer because you don't think anyone is interested in your opinion, that's your business.  For myself, I will continue to ask and answer questions because I'm getting a lot out of it myself and hopefully helping others in the process.

Answer 4

Unfortunately, some people do not understand the difference between FACT and OPINION...and not just on this forum.

I have noticed that some participants do frequently post comments as if they were questions.  Then, repeatedly "edit" their question, when they are in actuality responding to the answerers.  And I have also noticed that this often results in the whole thing just degrading into baiting and name calling.  Very immature if you ask me.

Answer 5

Those people exist all over.  So, I would assume they do here as well.

As for the thumbing, I find it rather humerous, especially when they thumb down a person for their personal feelings, or, even more so, for their personal facts in their particular life.  How can you disagree with someone's feelings?  Or, their personal facts?  Just laugh it off, because it's not as if their personal feelings, or personal experiences overrule yours anyway.

Answer 6

Oh yes, some people have asked questions just to bait others, though I'm not sure about the refuting part. Particularly strange is baiting others that you have blocked -- that seems very strange to me.

On the other hand, many other questions are being asked for what I feel are "valid reasons," like education, broadening the discussion, genuine curiousity, advocacy, support, etc.

The thumbs thing is funny. I always try to read each answer for itself, and give thumbs up or down based on the actual answer, not previous ones. But it is pretty clear that a few are giving thumbs down just for people they have for some reasons taken a dislike to (and perhaps blocked). I think a lot of people are too touchy about thumbs, and I don't reallly understand why it has such psychological power, but I know for me when I put a lot of thought and feeling into an answer and get thumbs down I feel a little crushed -- very silly, but I never claimed to be uber-rational!

Please don't go, I appreciate your voice here!

EDIT:

Okay, so am I really getting thumbs down because I admitted it made me feel sad? If so, toooo funny! <grin>

Otherwise, I'm genuinely curious about the disagreement. I would think that almost everyone would agree that some ask questions to bait, but most ask for various "valid reasons" (maybe not valid in Y!A terms, but valid for discussion). That was what I was trying to say, but maybe I didn't say it right.

So let me make one thing clearer: when I talk about people baiting and blocking, and giving thumbs down just because they have taken a dislike to someone, I'm refering mostly to a certain person who calls people "n***s." And she seems to have company now, what fun!

Or if it is because I want BPD still in the discussion, even though I often disagree with parts of what she says, well then pffftttt!

EDIT 2:

What Query Weary said! I can't understand a-parents that wouldn't want to listen to the voices of adoptees.

Answer 7

So some people are saying, yes this was a great board on Adoption until the adoptees  and firstmothers showed up and ruined everything.

Does anyone else see the irony here?

Yes, of course people are baiting others.  I try not to.  In fact, I asked a question about how much actual research adoptive parents and first parents do before deciding to adopt or relinquish.  I was startled by how few people answered me.

Incidentally, I have only blocked one person here, so I was hoping to hear many more answers than I did.

Face it, Adoption is a touchy subject and there is much more to it than what certain adoption workers want us to know.

Answer 8

All I can say is that this happens in every Answers forum in general.  Because chat or discussion isn't allowed, people always try to find some way around it!

I have to admit, that the few times I've ventured into Adoption (I'm a foster parent, so I'm curious about some of the Q&A here), it seems especially vicious.

Almost every question I read brings up good points, but people are nasty, rude and sarcastic.  I've seen name calling, digs and as far as I can see, any education that could be gained from it is lost in the process.

I guess Adoption is a very heated subject, and like all heated subjects people are passionate about their views, but there seems to be very little respect for differing opinions.

Anyway, yes, I can imagine that is exactly what is being done, it's a shame because it would be a really good way to share and discuss experiences otherwise.

Answer 9

Oh the irony.

Adult adoptees show up and ruin the "I luv adoption" party.

Answer 10

Torrejon said:

"And I have also noticed that this often results in the whole thing just degrading into baiting and name calling. Very immature if you ask me."

I agree! Like the poster above you calling people n***s - very immature and very demeaning to those whose families were affected by the Holocaust.

Answer 11

Of course, and it happens in every single section. You will notice that people have already made up their mind most of the time when they ask a question. They can receive 50 answers all saying the same thing, but choose the 51st answer, because that is what they want to hear. There are also trolls... people just trying to get everyone angry, reported, or deleted. If you spot one, just ignore them. It is unfortunate that people don't realize what is really going on... they'll give really sincere answers thinking that this person is really that sick or judgmental.

Answer 12

I think there are people who are asking questions just to bait others.  It always bothers me when someone asks an "opinion" question or a "how do you handle this situation" question and then people give thumbs up or down.  I only give thumbs down to people when I think they answer a question incorrectly (not just if I disagree with their opinion, but if the advise is actually wrong) or if they are unnecessarily rude to the asker.  I think that if people are asked their opinions about things, then that's neither right nor wrong, it is just their opinion.

Answer 13

Oh absolutely!  ;-)

There are plenty of people that post 'questions' here simply because they like the sound of their own voice, so to speak, or because they are looking to start an argument and bicker with others.

They are all about expressing their views without ever taking long enough to consider another's...as you correctly pointed out they are really only looking to mete out a judgment with a thumbs-up or down.

It's sad really.

Answer 14

There are those that bait with their questions.  I think a majority of us are truly trying to change and educate.  I have watched this board become a little more unifying over the last few weeks.  I hope it continues.  I have even thumbed up a person I have blocked.  She answered the question in a good way that I agreed with.

Answer 15

Yes, and I totally agree with Joslin.

Let the thumbs down begin!

Answer 16

I think it comes down to the polar differences in opinions about the experience of adoption.  When I read answers from people, something will get said that I wonder if others feel the same way about?  Are they offended or do they agree with what was said?

Take for example the multiple questions about coercion tonight and allow me to cry into my cheerios.  I didn't really want to list the ways I feel looking back that I was coerced and the reason is that there is always someone who chimes in with how I need to suck it up and own my responsibility in choosing adoption, that I cannot blame others for my own dumb mistake.  Wouldn't you know it, a few hours after I really did open up in one of the other questions about coercion there was an answer stating just that opinion.  Not directed at me in particular, but said nonetheless.

Anyway, with how many people answer at first with plain stupidity with how adoption really works, it doesn't surprise me at all that there are so many questions asking for clarification as to what those who are really involved with adoption think.

Answer 17

Yes,

I say this because people keep asking the same question over again about people on here being "anti-adoption". They post this question because they don't want to hear there is needed reforms or a negative side to adoption. Most people on here believe in adoption, but want reforms. But i'm sick of the same question that accuses all of us of being anti-adoption. I have called people out in the past, but i'm done with it now.

Answer 18

yea some ppl here come here for that b/c they want to voice their opinion....and if they dont wanna hear what they wanna hear they argue about it. its life and ppl i guess

Answer 19

Some of the questions seem to bait, others seem to come from people who can't understand what is being said, many are just posted again and again because the search bar is too complicated for some.

As I have said previously even some of the stupid questions or ones written by obvious trolls can have merit. Anything that gets people talking about sensitive issues is A-OK in my books.

After three violations this evening, and only one previous I am starting to think I may have ticked someone off. At least yahoo IDs are free should my account be suspended. I won't stop telling my truth, but I won't stop listening to the truths of others either. So they can bait away but they sure better not keep reporting me when they do.

Answer 20

I too came here as an adoptive parent hoping to hear from adoptees because of their experience and gain knowledge so that I can raise my daughter to be a happy healthy well adjusted adult.  When I first started asking questions, there was one person in particular who went out of her way to let me know what a piece of c**p I was for adopting, she called me names, etc.  Because I was new, I didn't realize that calling out was not permitted, and I did call her out in a post, because I have a right to defend myself.  Since then, I have stumbled upon some of her replies to other people and realize either she is just a very bitter person or her only goal is to bait.  So I blocked her and she is the only person I blocked because in order for me to raise my daughter in a positive manner, I don't need to be degraded.  Since defending yourself is  not permitted here, blocking became my defense, not becasue my opinion was different, but because I want to be treated respectfully.

Yes, there are negative aspects to adoption, but I don't need to have my character attacked, especially by somebody that does not know me.  What I need is education, opinions/facts presented in a matter of fact manner which  follows the Golden Rule.  

I have visited other forums in this site and NONE of them come with the same venom as the responses of this site seem to have.

Adoptees have a powerful message to send to us adoptive parents.  If they continue to do so in such a negative light, they better believe they will not want to be heard.  Adoptive parents want to learn from their experiences, if they desire to share them.  If not, that's ok too, but don't knock adoptive parents  for wanting to do it up right.  We know there is pain, we know there is loss, we just want to try to alleviate some of it any way we can.  We love our kids and just want to try to salvage the lemons our kids have been handed and make some lemonade.  Please educate us without the snideness and sarcasm.