Are "nice guys" out of luck?

Question

We've all heard the saying "nice guys finish last". What do you think? To me a nice guy is just someone who hopes enough @ss kissing will win over her heart LOL.

It's been biologically proven that women are attracted to the Alpha Male masculine man. Not the nice guy.

http://relationships.blog-city.com/a_woman_cant_biologically_be_attracted_to_a_nice_guy.htm

http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/datingtips/85967/dating-secret-exposed-why-nice-guys-finish-last;_ylc=X3oDMTRtc21iZW9sBF9TAzI3MTYxNDkEX3MDMjAyMzQzNDQ4OQRrA0RhdGluZyBTZWNyZXQgRXhwb3NlZCAtIFdoeSBOaWNlIEd1eXMgRmluaXNoIExhc3QEc2VjA2ZwX3RvZGF5BHNsawNkYXRpbmctc2VjcmV0IC1leHBvc2VkIC0gd2h5LW5pY2UgLWd1eXMtZmluaXNoLWxhc3QEenoDYQ--

Answer 1

So being an alpha male is being a jerk? Jerks who claim to be alpha males are alpha male wannabe's. The reason some nice guys fall into the friend category often and don't get girls, is because they are not assertive enough and are pushovers and indecisive or whatever the girl wants to do. He doesn't stand up for himself or lets his desperate desires cause him to be a pushover infront of a beautiful woman. Women want a man to have some assertivness and not be walk all over, to stand up for themself, and be a leader. These nice guys that finish last do not lead, but actually are too clingy and often as a result come off as creepy sometimes too.

Confidence and dignity is a turn on for women, the guys that are too nice lack in confidence. I think women would actually prefer the balanced man more than the outright jerks. Like the leader, fun, assertive, confident, intelligent man that has an edge too him and has a little mystery, but also is a good guy, but not too nice to not stand up for himself or press issues if need be. Kind of like how men like a woman on the streets but a freak in the sheets. You can be a nice guy and still be an alpha male. After all, l a man does not have to be an a*****e to be a leader and have confidence or to be assertive in life. But there are many jerks they don;t give a **** about what others thing or are selfish and  perhaps women mistake the men's ********* as confidence, which perhaps they later see the true colors and the man being cocky and not confident, which is different from confidence.

Answer 2

No, if a guy is genuine, it shows. If you're "*** kissing" to make points, that shows, too.

A real nice guy does not have to resort to ***-kissing. His character speaks for itself.

Answer 3

nope...im a complete prick....maybe if I was nicer I could keep a gf for more than a couple months..

Answer 4

And what about "nice girls"?

Would you be willing to date an "ugly" girl if she had a beautiful personality?

It goes both ways.

Answer 5

I don't believe that nice guys finish last~~entirely. Perhaps if a nice guy is dealing with a young girl without prior relationships. Depends on the type of girl the nice guy is looking for. I used to be all about big, strong, i'm-the-boss, superman guys. I was treated like c**p for years. Nothing in this world means more to me now than just being treated with respect and having someone who might worry where i'm at when i'm late getting home from work....and a kiss good night. Nice guys finish last with the wrong girl.

Answer 6

So an alpha male can't be nice to one woman?

Answer 7

Thats what I've been saying but does anyone listen to Devrin no.

Answer 8

I didn't bother to check out the links.  Your comments on "nice guys" were quite offensive enough for me!

To ME, a "nice guy" is someone who is GENUINELY considerate and thoughtful of others - yeah, women included!

I don't know where this "biologically proven" stuff comes from, but a TRULY caring and empathetic personality trumps a testosterone-soaked jerk any day of the week - "alpha" or not!

I remember when I first encountered my boyfriend on a dating website.  He commented on one occasion that the shallow "Romeos" always seemed to get the girls while the sincere guys got left on the sidelines - but HE'S the one who ended up getting THIS gal!  For the rest of my life, there's ONE nice guy who will ALWAYS finish FIRST!

Answer 9

Unfortuantely, some women are that way.  If you ask them what they want they can tell you.  But in reality, they often search out the more destructive relationships...but this is true of men, also.

For the sake of argument, we will discuss women.  It is well documented that a abused woman or the wife of an alcoholic will often break off a relationship with an abuser and find a "Good Guy", but leave him for another abuser.  This is a form of mental illness where a myrtared wife or victim mentality creates paralysis in a woman's life.  They can, and often do, leave an abuser and make their life work.

On the other hand....a good girl and a good guy can be in love and make a wonderful life together.  Bad Boys...sure.....and some guys like Bad Girls.....I guess there is someone for everyone.

Answer 10

I've read your articles. Where, exactly, is the "biological proof?"

there is no REAL "biology" mentioned in your articles. They are pop-psychology bull-S**t articles about dating...posted on "personals" web pages. That's about as UN-scientific as you can get. PLEASE tell me that you do understand the difference.

The "alpha -male" CAN be a nice guy. Who says that leaders have to be asssholes?

The whole "nice guys never win" thing is just an excuse that jerks use to act like jerks. And NONE of them are "alpha males." They are generally losers who mistreat other people because they are miserable themselves. That's MY opinion, anyway, which is no less valid than the OPINIONS (NOT science) given in those dating articles.

Answer 11

Well those people writing those articles obviously don't know me very well.

Answer 12

Yes most of the time.  They are easy to step on by both sexes.  Sometimes if they are focused, they get a great career and a good woman.

Answer 13

Women do seem to go for the "bad boys".