Are schools to blame for children's horrible behavior, or is it lack of discipline from the child's parents

Question

"Horrible behavior" includes, but is not limited to:

- Lack of respect for everyone and everything, even themselves

- Not following the simplest of instructions, even when ignoring the directive can result in harm

Answer 1

Its the parents.

We took our kids to Sesame Place today, and could not believe the way parents let their kids treat others, and how bad parents and kids mouths are in a family friendly place.

Answer 2

No I think it is a combination of things:

1. poor diet

2. not enough sleep

3. Not many mom's and dad's live together

4. We took prayer out of schools,  a stupid mistake!

5. Parent(s) stressed about everything from gas to house notes

6. its tough being a kid now a days the music is Gawd awful

7. the violence on gaming, vids, music, Tv- awful

8. with out a strong foundation we all have trouble.

I think its best to home school anyway! We are all to blame for the bad behavior of children!

Answer 3

behavior is the parent's fault.  bad parenting only makes it harder for the child to be civil and socialize in a healthy manner.

Answer 4

The schools do not help, but ultimateley it is the parents fault. They are the ones who start disciplining a child, or are suppose to, when they are young. There is no where near enough discipline in a lot of American households today

Answer 5

It's the child's parents.  I've worked with children in the school system as an aide.  And sometimes when you tell a parent about their child's behavior, some think it's funny or they get angry and blame the teacher for not handling them.  I'm like how do they want them handled.  And the children will tell you, "If you hit me or grab me, my mom or dad will sue you."

It's not just teenagers either.  I've seen some bad behavior from 2 to 5 years old.  They can curse you out like a sailor and can't even spell what they are saying.

That's why I made sure I raised my children to respect their teachers just like they respect me.  I told them what teachers hated about students and how you can be marked as an unruly child by the staff.    

I even suggest to parents, go visit your child's school for one day.  That's all it takes to shock your mind about how some children act at school.

Answer 6

Parents control who's houses their kids go to, they can choose the child's school, they can choose their childcare, and they can tell their kid when something they learned and are repeating is wrong.  It is mostly the parents fault.  If children are raised properly and disciplined at home, then out in public or in school, they will know how to behave.

Answer 7

It's all on the parents.

Answer 8

I believe it is the parents at leadt 75% of the time. Sometimes I uderstand it's peer pressure and sometimes when a person is free and away from their parents they do whatever they want, but most of the time it's the parents that don't teach their children anything about respect and responsibility. In my graduating class alone, we had 11 drop outs out of 64 students. 9 of the 11 were with single parents, and 8 of the 9 had a parents with wither an anger/alcohol/drug problem. the other 2 just didn't give a c**p about their lives or about school.

One of my good friends dropped out of school because she didn't even care about it anymore, and this was brought of by her parents telling her that she was useless and that school is pointless.

Believe it or not, the parents have a huge influence of their children.

Answer 9

I'd say parents first they build the foundation before kids even enter school. All too often people want to blame schools. Hope this Helps.

Answer 10

A whole lot of both, parents and school.

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Answer 11

It is mainly *governments* and "do-gooders" who have brought this about.

Neither the schools nor the parents can discipline children adequately these days so it is no wonder that they are running wild and are confused as to boundaries and safety.

God help us all if this continues!

Answer 12

PARENTS are responsible to teach their children respect & following instructions, listening, NOT the schools in my opinon.

Answer 13

parents are always the reason for a childs actions, wheather good or bad.

Answer 14

schools are more to blame because they are around other children who were not raised the same way. When i got into 6th grade, i learned curse words and learned that it was ok to curse. Even though it's in no way ok to curse, the other children seemed to think that so i really do not believe that a parent can raise their child a certain way and expect them to behave. therefore, schools are to blame, not the adults that are in charge, but the children themselves.

Answer 15

It's parents' lack of discipline, which is triggered by our busy and/or lazy society. Parents are either too busy or too lazy to raise their kids right--hence sitting the child in front of the television instead of interacting with the child and teaching him/her proper behavior. Thus, the child learns from what he/she sees on tv, hears in music, and plays in video games.

In some cases it's also the parents trying to act like friends of the child instead of parents/disciplinarians.

Answer 16

Definitely the parents' fault. Teachers at school are not parents and yet so many parents are lazy and expect the responsibility to fall on the kids' teachers. But teachers not paid to raise kids, they're paid to teach them. And they're very limited as to how they can handle bratty kids-- some parents think their kids should get to do whatever they want and then raise h**l with the school board b/c their kid was given time out for being bad. It's just ridiculous. Parents are responsible for their children. If they honestly try their best and are doing a good job, yet the kids still refuse to behave, then it's probably safe to assume that the kid has problems of some sort that could be mental or emotional and are not directly linked to bad behavior.

Answer 17

It's not the school that should be instilling values and bringing up children to be productive members of society, it's parents. I notice a lot of parents don't bother teaching kids what use to be basic good behavior. Saying, "please and thank you", learning not to interrupt, keeping their hands to themselves and so on. My mother has been a teacher for decades and sees a lot. Parents who try to shift the blame anywhere but on their kids (when their kids are to blame) are raising children who don't take any responsibility for themselves and behave as you stated in your question. A lot of parents now put their careers before their kids, put their material possessions before their kids and take little responsibilites as parents themselves. These are the same parents who think the school should take a stronger role in shaping kids' behavior.

This is impossible now because of several realities;

  Teacher to student ratio is often 1 teacher to over 30 students.

  Some don't even get an aide for part of the day anymore

  Teachers are held to a higher standard even though many kids (in my mom's district and my daughter's in different states) don't start the year being able to speak or understand English.

  Less parents are preparing their kids for school by reading together, practicing counting, etc.

  More special needs kids are being maintreamed into regular classrooms that have special needs such as autism and Down syndrome.

So basically, teachers are spread more thinly than ever and parents are less involved than ever. Now, I know every parent isn't like that so nobody freak out. But it's true. Kids spend less time with their parents than they did 20 years ago, so of course we will collectively notice a change.

This is the age of not taking responsibility. Everyone is suing everyone for things they should have known better than to do. Everyone is consuming more resources than they should. Everyone is acting like their own kid is perfect so it must be your kid's fault. Or the school. Or society. OK I guess I can't say everyone, but it sure seems that way lately.

Well, that concludes my rant. But I do think I make some good points.

Answer 18

It's always the parents. It's not up to the school to teach a child how to be in society. That is the parent's job. It's the teacher's job to teach school subjects. That is it. They would have a much easier time doing that if the parents would raise well-behaved children.

Answer 19

The school is not responsible in ANY way for the child's horrible behavior! The parents are solely to blame!

Answer 20

It's a bit of everything. T.V., video games, other kids in school can influence another. My son has attempted a few attitudes with me and has found out that dad can put his foot down very hard.

Answer 21

Schools exist to give our children knowledge not manners!  To expect your kids teacher to do your job as a parent is like going to the salon for a haircut & expecting the stylist to cure your OCD!

Any parent who thinks a teacher should be held accountable for the actions of THEIR!! child is completely selfish & shouldn't be having children.  Imagine how self centered you have to be to bring a child into the world & not teach them about manners, respect, bounderies, disappointment, personal integrity, or the exsistance of the word NO?  That kid is bound to grow up with issues in every aspect of their lives, relationships, work, school.  All because some jerk wanted a babydoll to play dress with so they could get compliments from their friends on what cute offspring they produced.

This is why we have a whole generation of parents standing around like a deer in headlights calling out for the Super Nanny like she is a freaking box of Calgon.

The whole fad of the "yes man" parent makes me want to puke.  Oh we don't want to crush their sense of self, we can't tell them not to put crayon marks on the wall because it'll damage the flourishing creativity.  We can't tell them not to yell at an adult because that might get in the way of them expressing themselves.  Maybe its just me but I think its entirely possible to teach a child to be well adjusted AND how not to be a disrespectful Aay-hole!!

Yeah I said it, I worked in school system for a few years & I've met many the 6 year old Aay-hole in my life.  Grown up Aay-holes don't get that way because one day they were bitten with a mosquito infected with Aay-hole virus, its because they gotten a lifetime of practice from the time they were kids.  Its LEARNED behavior not a personality flaw.

To imply that influence of other "bad" kids is the source of such learned behavior is another ridiculous ploy to remove the blame from yourself as a parent.  As a general rule I don't believe in "bad" kids I believe in kids that were parented "badly"  Not to say that I underestimate  peer pressure I was a teenager once I understand how it is.  But to say that a kid "picks-up" bad behavior from other kids is to remove the personal accountability  that comes along with the freedom of making your own decisions & choices.  

I had some pretty bad friends doing some pretty grown up dirt at a very young age.  Even though I may have been poolside I never jumped in the water, because my parents were parenting me even when they weren't there.  I always knew & respected the lines they had drawn concerning what was acceptable & what was expected.   So whenever I was in a situation where i had to make a decision I thought to myself "what my mom would think".

Bottom line is the answer to the question should be solved with common sense.  Don't become a parent if you can't handle having to be the bad guy once in a while.  Parenthood is a rewarding job, but is still a job. And it's YOUR job not the kindergarten teachers.

Answer 22

It is mainly the parents and then the schools.Since the schools aren't allowed to discipline the kids anymore or teach them good morals and the parents are both busy working 100hrs a week so they can have "nice things",THE ONLY influence left in their lives are the TV and the Internet and their own thoughts and hormones.

Answer 23

I blame it on the parents. Teachers have enough issues with a class of 30 students. Parents are the ones raising their own kids and should take responsibility for their actions (or lack thereof)

My parents taught me manners and respect which I brought over into the school scene. Other parents aren't as thoughtful

Motherpeanutbutter - taking prayer out of school has nothing to do with behavior. Plenty of my friends went to private "religious" schools and had just as many students with issues than other schools. And video games is just a poor excuse for bad behavior. There is something wrong with the KID if they are affected by games. Not everyone has issues with society after playing a game

Answer 24

Parents. There is nothing you can do with them in school when the parents aren't doing any disciplining at home.