Are second chances a good idea??

Question

Well 3 years ago i had a huge falling out with a good friend (well i thought she was a good friend), i later found out a lot of stuff about her and i have to say i was very hurt. I've known her since we were five and we were really close but then she started dumping me for a guy she was interested in, and he was actually the reason we fell out. He hit on me and i turned him down but she thought that we were seeing each other, and basically cut me out of her life but kept him in it. She then started all these childish games and ruined the relationship i was in at the time...so i figured it was a great thing that i finally knew exactly who she was and that i was well rid of her. But fast forward 3 years and she's trying to get in contact....it turns out the guy that she dumped me for got her pregnant and left her...now i feel sorry for her i do, but she wants us to become best friends again and well personally i don't think i could ever be her best friend again, and I'm not even sure if i could be her friend after what she did. I'm just looking for advice, and i'm wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation and if they have, what did they do? Because i'm at a loss.

Answer 1

You`ll find out in time NOT to give a second chance

Answer 2

why should you? if she put you through all of that and then decided tht wen her boyfriend does her over she needs you shes not a very good mate. i wouldnt personally want anything to do with her but i dont know u and i dont know her

Answer 3

Feel sorry for her?  I guess she did not know that having unprotected s*x can and will get a girl pregnant?  Wants to be friends "Again"?  Meaning she was your friend before?  UH... this girl is not any-ones friend - never was, never will be.  She sounds like a very irrational, over-reactive, selfish, dip.  I would not even consider TALKING to her, let alone dropping my guard and letting her come back to tear me up - AGAIN.

You WILL learn in time, that giving second chances is not a smart thing to do.  

Answer 4

Honestly, I wouldn't be her friend again personally by what you've said but if you think you can trust her again, then go for it. But just don't get to close to her incase she does that again that way you won't feel so hurt. Good Luck!

Answer 5

Anyone who tells you to not give her another change is pathetic and has no idea. Give her the change it's been THREE years , don't be her BFF, but try to be her friend again, she misses you and   really needs the help of her friend.  

          You still are her BFF ever in her book, give the girl a change breaking off a friend cause of a guy is wrong.

        People are nuts to talk about not letting yourself get walked over, yes say no sometimes, but people are learning to not do a favor for anyone or even be a good person.

Answer 6

Hun, when it comes to mates, they'll always dump you for a guy (not calling your friend a bi*ch but it's a fact-everyone does it). Remember that guys will come and go and your mate will say "oh but he's 'the one'"- bull c**p- boys will seem more important than anything at that age, if your between 13-19 like i think you are, relationships never go anywhere at that age. When these "relationships" finish she'll come running to you for support, be there for her and support her, because when she finally grows up and realises that guys are'nt the be all and end all, she will appreciate what a good friend you are for sticking by her even when she treated you like sh*t. Good luck x

Everyone deserves a second chance...nobody gets it right first time round- we have to make mistakes in order to learn from our mistakes, is'nt that what life's about? learning?

Answer 7

She's not very bright, this girl, is she?

By all means see her again, but be very careful. If she tries to rope you in as a free babysitter, don't fall for it.  

Answer 8

She wasnt your friend in the first place though was she?

If she was she would have known or believed you when you said you werent seeing her boyfriend - and then she wouldnt have played those games that cost you your relationship.

Trust has to be there for a friendship to work.

I wouldnt feel like trusting her after all that.

I am all for second chances but sometimes the actual essence of someone never changes and my feelings are she is one of them.

Be polite and say hello but keep her at a distance.