Are some kids naturally more/less motivated than others?

Question

My sister's eldest daughter (six) doesn't seem to be interested in anything. Now I know what you're going to say (all together now: 'She's only six, for God's sake!'), and fear not, we all love her vey much. Do you think this is genetic (my sister is well lazy, innit?), or do you think it's a process that is learned from observation of parents. Were you motivated as a child or not? Are your own children? Why is this?

Answer 1

The parents set the example. If they are motivated and they get there kids to be motivated too. What we do our child does, like cleaning, shoveling, buying food, exercising, playing, cooking, etc. You have to be doing it too. We also do fun things together too, bowling, racket ball, boating, swimming, etc.

Answer 2

Ha!  I love it!  Nature vs. Nurture: The classic debate in psychology!  Guess what? It's a complex interplay of both!

Nature is the brain we were born with, influenced by the DNA of our parents, the chemicals that each INDIVIDUAL brain produces, what's affected by that in terms of behavior, prenatal nutrition of our mother, the expectations for us in the time/place where we are born in terms of gender, social standing, and lots of things we can't even begin to track or measure!  Nurture is the environment into which we are born, including how our parents model behavior, the opportunities we have (and how our natural interests are allowed to develop) and lots of things we can't even begin to track or measure!

Six is young, relatively speaking, but personality traits are pretty stable over time, from youth to old age. I would say expose this child to things until you see something that she is excited by and interested in. I bet there is something, but not obvious yet. Caring, interested, attentive adults are the BEST thing any child can have to help them reach their full potential. She is lucky to have you!

Think about this: I was born in the early 50s. Many of my friends did not seem to be interested in anything--got in trouble in school for things that were surely based on boredom. Know what most of them do now? Their are working in IT. Computers weren't AROUND when we were young, not even when we were in high school, and PCs didn't become readily available till we were in our 30s!  So, we like to joke that (1) we were born before our time, and (2) everything we did up until the first PC was put in the first office was PREPARATION for the work at which we would excel! The brilliant kind of thinking that those IT people had was not in demand 40 years ago, and the things that were taught in grade school and high school did not engage them. They were "unmotivated" because they were not in the mainstream. Some cultures have one kind of thinker, others another kind. If your niece is in the minority for her culture, she will seem "less" than others. Support her and help her find her passion.

Remember that INITIATIVE is influenced heavily by a particular chemical in the brain--and I'm not saying this child is depressed--not at ALL--but another thought I have is that it's possible she may have naturally low initiative based on her brain chemistry. There surely is a place in the world for people with both high and low initiative. Differing gifts, and all that. She is very very lucky to have you in her life, watching out for her. Think about all this as you observe her, and just spend time with her, talk to her, and see what happens. As she gets older, if she gets LESS motivated, then there may be a problem. But I would say the jury is still out. What a wonderful aunt/uncle you are!

PS  Get a book by Howard Gardner on multiple intelligences. You may see something that describes your niece.

Answer 3

I had three children one was very motivated, one was motivated, and one couldnt be bothered at all. I think its in their genes.

Answer 4

Yes, I believe so. I'm not a very motivated person myself. I'm just going through the motions

Answer 5

sometimes children pick up habits from their parents or other siblings. If the parents are not that motivated then that will aide in the not so much motivation for the child.

Answer 6

I was not motivated as a child especially in sports as i didn't think i was very good at anything therefore didn't enjoy it which caused me not to bother and appeared lazy.

However when i spent time with my grandad i was encouraged with creative things , found i was quite good at it and then enjoyed it more, doing more.

Answer 7

i reckon that if it's in you to be laid back you just are. it has nothing to do with the parents...just like if ur really uptight you just are. Me and my brother are so like that....he is so laid back he could fall over and just doesn't understand why i stress about stuff and we were brought up exactly the same. she might be a secret genius and is just bored listenin to everyone talk to her like a child hahahaha.

Answer 8

Absolutely!!!!!  I have 3 kids. A 13 yr old daughter, 10 yr old son and 8 yr old son.    

The daughter has been motivation from age 2, the sons HATE SCHOOL!  They would rather socialize.  My 10 yr old son just recently started to become an organized student and my 3rd grade son has an AMAZING teacher who has a way of making him feel good about school and he now believes in himself and enjoys learning.  She is very possitive towards and sees the good in everyone which has made him feel better about school.  A teacher that looks at the good a student does in stead of their faults~  builds confidence in a child.  It comes in time or with an exceptional teacher!  They are one in a million and can make the world of difference in a child.  They need to know from you how the student reacts to things and they will gladly work on those issues in a possitive way.

Answer 9

I really believe it's in the upbringing. However, if she feels like there is nothing to look forward to she may not feel motivated. But she's 6 so make sure the parents do a good job of encouraging her in all that she does so she'll want to continue that behavior.

Answer 10

I was a motivated child but it had nothing to do with my parents. I'm just one of those kids who was an over achiever. Out of my children I have three motivated and two not so inclined. All were raised exactly the same and birth order doesnt seem to come into play either. I think motivation is a strength that you are born with and some people tend to cultivate it more than others.

Answer 11

I had one extremely motivated child and one who wasn't at all motivated.  There is nothing to be done other than wait until they grow up and find their own way.  Now the unmotivated one actually earns more than the motivated one.