Are some men intimidated by women in high earning professions?

Question

I'm asking because I've noticed among some men that their wives are often nurses, teachers, or secretaries, notice I said: SOME, not ALL--I'm not trying to generalize. Do you think some men are uncomfortable marrying women who earn more than they do?

Why do you think some men try to marry "beneath" them, as in occupation? This is not always the case but I mean in relation to occupation, why are some men uncomfortable with marrying a woman who makes less money than they do? What do you think?

Answer 1

You might be right; there are both men who prefer a woman who earns a lot...and men who want (the majority?) to be the breadwinner.  Perhaps it's social conditioning?    

E Harmony.com did a study in which men were asked what kind of woman they preferred.  Answer: one who was nice to them.  I wonder if women in higher earnings brackets are so busy that they can be viewed as intimidating?

Answer 2

Hi...

Yes I have the same thought with you.

Men are always like to be in superior position against women. Men with high ego will tend to marry women who can make less money than they do.

Their need to be respected as the house leader, men will reach their pride to create a financial dependence of the family...and having spouse with higher earnings will cause slight competition in the family and lose men's security as the leader (but this is not a generalization).

But also, in some cases I've found in lot of Indonesian families middle-low class (I'm from Indonesia), indeed men take benefit by this circumstances, they sent their wives work abroad, they receive money every month from wives and raise children at home. Pity.

Answer 3

Yes, some, but that could be true about anything when using the word "some".

I just think the personality of a woman with an occupation of a teacher or a nurse is more inviting - kinder, more feminine- if you will, than a woman in a high ranking executive position. Because women with those title have to be so serious and "cut throat" in business, no one gets to see their feminine side. Men just look at them as another man rather than a woman to pursue.

Also, I probably wouldn't go for a guy who made less money than me, just because men do have a stronger will to conquer and if my will and self-motivation were stronger than his, than I would feel a strain and pressure to support the household, and then I would become a nagging wife and that is not flattering on a woman.

Answer 4

Supposedly my ex-husband was cool with my career-until I started making more money than him. I later found out why I got all the silent treatments-he really didn't want to admit he hated it that I made more money than him and later he was livid that I made a lot more money than him. It's ugly to find out that someone will only "love" you if you don't do better than they do. I think people who can't handle it are very insecure. I'm now with someone who is happy that I am doing well in my career and doesn't care who makes more (we started out that way-so I know for sure he won't freak out later). I hope he does fabulously in his career-I believe that's what love is about-wanting your partner to excel in what they want to do.

Answer 5

Yes. Traditional / old - fashioned male opinion is of a male as a breadwinner and a female as a housekeeper. Even though we are not little old ladies of 200 years ego, some of the male and female opinions did not change since then. Female ambition is still a dirty word in some vocabularies all over the world. However, why should we care if anyone feels threatened by our professional and personal success?  There are millions of fish in a proverbial dating sea, so the chances are pretty high for you to find a true keeper and forget about men with resistance to progress.

Answer 6

Some men are intimidated especially, and I'm going out on a limb here, in the Hispanic culture. I am a Hispanic female and my ex did not mind that I made more money than he did because we were living across the river from Texas. I worked in the U.S. and he worked in Mexico. Thus, he made less money than I did. I don't think that men try to marry 'beneath' them giving the status of our economy. They might feel uncomfortable until the paycheck is deposited in the bank.

Answer 7

because in most cases a high powered money making woman dont have the respect for men that we need from our women, being with such a person is toxic to your being so we choose the ones who make lessor money cause they know! how to treat, respect and love a man better and most of all less arguments more peace.

Answer 8

I know what you mean, for sure.

But men who are truly comfortable in themselves don't care if their wife earns more or less than them. It's not an issue, and it shouldn't be...

Statistically, men still earn more than women. Inequality still exists in the workplace big time!

:-)

Answer 9

For your answer,  yes.  In all reality, no.

Answer 10

I'd be wary here, of course you're going to be right because of how you qualify your answer.

Certainly there are men who want to be earning more money than their ladies- as to whether this is in any way normative- it isn't in my experience, given my particular social circle(s) (i'm actually both a teacher, the earner, and do the majority of domestic work in my relationship!)- but yours will vary.

If this is a case, then it's obviously predicated towards the 'breadwinner' mentality, a mentality that still influences the male mind- to which the high rate of youth male suicide in rural areas  in Australia, New Zealand and the USA in the studies i've read, (the binding factor of which was lack of 'respected' vocational prospects) attests.

This sad mentality rips off our young males, as despite the changing global environment, many young and old men still place the cultural expectation on themselves to look after their spouse financially- this mentality is not purely male- many many females also reinforce this mentality- hence why these men so often have wives, sisters and mothers who reinforce the mentality- that being a man is about being a provider.

As a caveat, do not think this is a self-serving mentality, it's simply an outmoded and yet persistant cultural more that is creating sick symptoms in todays  society- from divorce to suicide to bigotry.

The other little thing i did want to suggest if you don't already understand is why those occupations are more female-centred, I chose my profession because it makes a difference and gives a tangible reward that will live long after myself any wealth i could amass- i'd be careful to suggest that these jobs are 'beneath' more self-serving and less compassionate professions.  

I hope this answers your question :)

Answer 11

Well I'm not married nor have a girlfriend, but I'm a man.  My guess is that it makes the guy, himself, feel awkward.  Since society is always saying that a man shouldn't get married until he has enough to provide for a family, and a man is supposed to be a provider and protect a family, and there's a lot of material women out there, and a lot of women say they want ambitious men who aren't from the dump, it almost makes the man feel inferior and awkward.  The woman is not less attractive to him, but it makes him feel awkward.  Just like hunch back men don't go after a super model who was voted as one of the best looking models of the year, a lot of men will feel awkward going after richer women.  That's just my guess as a man.

Answer 12

Yes, some. Anyone who says that these men are nonexistent is deluding themselves. A lot of men still feel that their primary responsibility is as providers, and that a high-earning woman is incompatible with that responsibility.

Answer 13

That would depend on whether or not the man was mentally healthy and well adjusted.  If he's NOT then he's more likely to feel inadequate and intimidated (& probably envious) of the other person's success making him perpetually angry and miserable.  I would expect to see plenty of passive-aggressive behaviors in such an individual.

*There is no such thing as "secretary" anymore (replaced by "administrative assistant").  Different job involving greater responsibility and necessitating more training.  Still Pink Collar Ghetto stuff.   With the exception of legal secretaries, of course.  Experienced ones can easily make $100K per year.  They're worth their weight in gold.

Answer 14

No.. men are NOT intimidated AT ALL by highly successful women for the 350th time.. They may be "annoyed" or "turned off" or "jealous". But intimidated? NO...

The reason is simple.... most women get too "uppity" when they are earning more than their boyfriend or husband. He will also lose respect from a lot of people.. both men and women. In some cases... even the woman he is with will look down on him. This is REALITY.

It's somewhat "unnatural" for the woman to be the provider. Yes.. I said it... "unnatural" and I don't care if you agree or not.

Answer 15

Most people are. It's generally preferable to marry someone who makes less than you, or you will lose your standing, and worth. If your spouse doesn't need you, the relationship won't last very long.

Answer 16

I'm not sure exactly what you are asking.  I don't consider anything that takes a college degree as a low earning profession.  

You do realize that nurses, with advanced degrees and experience, can earn over 100K.

Answer 17

Women tend to marry "up."  They tend to prefer men who are taller, older, better educated, who have higher-paying jobs.  (Not all of us, mind.)   Men tend to marry "down."

So it's not that men are intimidated by higher-earning wives, but that their marriages have just worked out that way.  

I always assumed I'd never get married because I fall into that higher-earning category, but the man who chose me just happens to make more than I do.  He's my age and my height, so I married "up" only one step.

Most of the higher-earning women I know are in marriages to men who make approximately what they do.

And nurses are in such high demand that they make decent money; don't kid yourself.

Answer 18

No I think it is more likely that women in high earning professions seek men in a similar or higher position to themselves.

Money and status are far less important to men than they are to women, I would not turn down a woman I liked and was attracted to whether she was a wealthy CEO or worked at McDonalds. A lot of women would turn down a guy who worked at McDonalds however.