Are stay at home parents lazy?

Question

"SAH women are generally lazy leeches who have no self respect, confidence or intelligence."

Someone just posted this in answer to another question, and I was just wondering how many people agree. I could never be a SAHM myself, but is it really fair to denigrate the role of a homemaker? Some of my friends are SAHMs and they have college degrees, work hard and care for their children. What do you think? Is it a fair comment?

Do you think the same comment would be applied to stay at home dads?

Answer 1

I think it's a comment from someone who works outside the home and is resentful, or holds down a job and upon return home takes care of the duties a stay at home mom would handle. I'm in that situation, but I know that I have 8 hours "at work" on a break. Its amazing what people will say. Have respect for stay at home moms, but also have respect for moms like me that bring the bacon home and fry it because our partners are out working also.  

Answer 2

" I could never be a SAHM myself"

That sounds very condescending in itself. Why do you feel that you must demean the SAHM choice by dismissing the possibility outright?.

Answer 3

Why would they be considered lazy? Let me see if I can guess, it's because they spend their days cleaning, taking care of children, cooking, teaching their children. Yep that's lazy all right. Not. If you think about it, a stay at home parent does the same job as a daycare provider does, they just do it for their own children instead of other people's. It's ignorant people that would even consider that lazy.  

Answer 4

That was probably a troll.

I've never heard anyone on here say that and be serious about it.

I don't think it's true of either SAHMs or SAHDs.. most are selfless, giving, and hardworking.

Of course their are exceptions.. but their are exceptions in every group.

Answer 5

they arent lazy, why doesnt that person stay with their children all dayyyy. they work hard and they are creative and strong to do that everyday. alot that i know barely do anything durng the day but be with the babies... boring!!! but worth it. they are shaping the future, how dare anyone say thats lazy, they either dont have kids or dont respect what their spouse does. its a job in itself. wat about stay at home dads?? wat a jerk.

Answer 6

I think that would be determined by what they did when they stayed at home.  I have a son-in-law that stayed home and took care of his three kids while they were young while his wife worked and then she stayed at home and worked for the same company while he got an education and went to work for the same company she worked for.

Answer 7

Hello,

Here's my opinion:

I think it is hard to state whether to say that either SAH parents are lazy or not. You can't really apply these stereotypes to modern day society; including parents with home businesses. Although I do believe that it takes a considerable amount of work to look after children, not only while they are at home but also when they are else wheres. There are still so many other jobs around the house that could be done (washing, folding, sweeping, etc) that may or may not be a result of the children. I also know that there are those who do, do nothing and are lazy, but there are always people that support both sides of this argument.

This is just my opinion on things,

Secca

Answer 8

I personally hated being a SAHM. So, if someone else enjoys it, they're more tolerant than I am, and kudos.

Answer 9

SAHM's are the most centered people I know.

It's not easy being a SAHM because it takes a lot of sacrifice and you can only do it if you have enough vision to see the abundant rewards. I never hear SAHM's denigrating working women, but I often hear working moms denigrating SAHM's. I suspect that working mothers feel guilty for not being there for their families.  

Answer 10

No they are not, they do have self respect, confidence or intelligence, these women have, some do work from home!!

the woman who said that is a hard working london gal, and a proud feisty mum, she is a nice woman

the words are a bit hard i agree, but its london hard nosed chat, i don't think that she is wanting to be hard on any person

Answer 11

Absolutely not!  At the moment, I'm a stay at home caretaker.  I take care of my father who has early onset alzheimers disease.  I understand that I'm not a mom taking care of my child, but I can closely relate.  I have to parent my own parent.  It's lonely, it can be depressing staying home so much.  By all means, I do not sit around all day!  I clean, I cook meals, I chase my dad around and I run errands.  I accomplish the things my mother cannot accomplish because of how much she works. By the end of the day, I'm tired and just want to relax.  I don't have extra money to spend. I'm doing this to give the best care my dad can possibly have.  I'd rather help take care of him myself than to stick him in a personal care home, or senior daycare.

Staying at home is a huge sacrifice, and by all means it is not lazy.

Answer 12

Wow that's harsh. As a stay-at-home mom myself I obviously don't agree with that. I'll be honest, I don't really like being a SAHM. I find myself getting bored often and longing to go back to work. Unfortunately, our current situation doesn't allow that.

So I would definitely say yes, that is a very unfair comment made by someone who I'm guessing was trying to p**s off everyone else.  

Answer 13

Being a SAHM is a very rewarding job. My mother was super intelligent and had a DRs degree in forensics from what my father said. My dad said she was even smarter then him and he is a field service engineer and that's a tough job.

My mother chose to raise her family because she didn't want a baby sitter to do it. My mother had got pregnant 4 times and has 6 kids. Me and my twin brother missed out on having a mother to take care of us but our other 4 brothers got to be with her.  

Being a SAHM is not a worthless job. It's a tougher job managing the house then any other job. It's a choice to work or take care of your family.

Answer 14

Any Parent who stays home and takes care of their kids should not be called lazy. they are doing what they want to do. they work hard it's not easy taking care of the house and when the kids are fussy you have to take care of them in between you have to run to so many places do this and that. how can anyone call that being lazy?

I think stay at home parents are great. and I respect them a lot. and I just wish I could stay at home ( but I would NOT be lazy if i did )

So who ever said that does NOT know what they are talking about. God Bless

Answer 15

I'm pretty sure it was a troll. Anyway, as someone else put it, there are lazy people in all walks of life. There are some lazy SAHMs, and there are some that work harder than some people who do have a job outside of the home. Holding a job outside of the home and being a SAHM does not inherently make someone lazy or hardworking. Each person makes it what they want it to be.

Anyway, to Max, how is someone stating that being a SAHM is not for them, condescending to SAHMs? There is absolutely no logic behind that statement, and I think you're just looking for an argument. It's like if I were to say being a doctor is not for me. I most certainly do not look down upon that profession, it's just not a profession that fits my interests and personality. There is nothing pejorative about that.

Answer 16

Hey my mother's been married for 30 years, most of that time, she was working, she was a teacher at first, then a business owner after.

about 10 years ago she stopped working, and became a housewife (wtf is a SAHM!!? do we really need all those acronyms??).

I was 7 at the time.

If any woman ever ,says anything along the lines of my mother being some sort of "maid" I will kick her ***!

You have no right to be a smartass just because you have a big job! What is far more important is how you raise your kids.

I know I am gonna look for a big job..because lets face it, women still expect a man to be "in control of his life"..so i don't think "stay at home dads" are gonna become an issue.

Whoever I marry may or may not decide to stay at home to raise the kids..but regardless, that doesn't make her any less a woman.

Answer 17

i am a stay at home mom.. my husband and i chose this because we didn't want someone else raising our children.. and i don't know too many SAH mom's who are lazy.. my house is clean,the laundry is done everyday. i am responsible for making sure the bills are paid on time,i do the grocery shopping, i take care of our pool,i feed the animals.i bathe the kids,i wash the car..  i have the hardest job in the world,but don't get paid for it monetarily... oh yeah.. i also clean a few houses on the side...

as far as a man being a stay at home dad ? that is okay too as long as he took care of things like a woman does.

Answer 18

It depends on the person. If she's interacting with her children and keeping her home tidy, then no. If the kids are running wild while she sits on the couch watching soap operas all day and the house is a pig sty, then yes.

Whoever posted that question was a moron.

Answer 19

Oh lets be REAL here...

I'm sure there ARE stay at home moms who ARE lazy.  So?  

There are people who go to work five days a week and are just as lazy... putting off their responsibilities on others, taking a dozen coffee or cigarette breaks every day, taking long lunches, wasting time on the computer playing poker or whatever when they should be working....  

Lazy people come in ALL areas of life.  

Let's not get crazy sensitive about  things or pretend anyone is "perfect" in any sector of life.

I know a stay at home dad, quite well.  He's lazy -- and a stoner too.

Still takes care of the house pretty well, though, and get his kids off to school every day, while his wife makes 90k a year. This kind of person could just as easily be a woman staying home too.

However we should all refrain from saying "all" SAHMs or SAHDs are lazy.  Most are not.