Are there 'real' risks of the birth parent coming back for a child when one adopts in the US?

Question

Independent:

Isn't that why children are in foster care? For the birth parents to have time to take parenting classes, overcome the issues that caused their child(ren) to be taken away?

Once the adoption is official, I do not think it is unreasonable for an adoptive parent to not have to worry about the birth mom or dad changing their mind years down the road.

Answer 1

once parental rights are teminated. they have no legal leg to stand on. in our case, we allow the bio grandparents and the bio aunt to visit, and the bio mom will probably be in his life to some degree once she gets out of jail. his bio dad/family doesn't seem to wnt any part of him, which is sad. we have all of his abuse newspaper articles for him to read if he chooses to when he's old enough.  he'll know who he is and where he came from,. though.

Answer 2

I believe adopting from the foster care system all the rights of the parents have been terminated either volunteering or by the courts.  No extended family was able or willing to take in the child(ren) otherwise the FCS would have tried to place them in kinship care adoption.

In infant adoption the birthparents have a window frame that they can reclaim even after the adoption is finalized. The time period varies some are as little as a few days, others are as long as a few months. Once that window has passed they can never get their birthchild back. Unless there was something done wrong in the adoption like father was not informed and did not give up his rights, paper weren’t filed on time etc,  this is why an adoption should always have all the t’s crossed and I’s dotted.  If its done right no birthfamily is going to be able to come back and claim the child years late. Just think of how selfish that would be. Lets just rip away the child from the only family they have had for years and stick them with blood kin but strangers nonetheless.

Answer 3

There is a risk up until the adoption is final.  After that, the risk is EXTREMELY low.  The birth parent would have to provide proof that there was some type of fraud.

The adoption process includes a requirement that the birth parent(s) swear that they are not being coerced or forced to place the child.  this is done before a judge pro tem.  This is to confirm that they are capable of making a decision.

Answer 4

I was adopted at the age of 4 months old. My biological mother did not try to come get me between 4 months old and 18 years old. Granted, she knew a few of the kids I hung out with in High School and she gave them a note to give to me. I had no idea who she was, until I lived with her for a while. Which was a mistake on my part.  There is a possiblity that the adoptee's parents might try to come back and take back their child they gave up. The only way they can come back is by proving to the courts that they have a stable home, a stable income, and can porvide for the child.  Some of the parents that try to come back, aren't able to provide for the child and just want their flesh and blood back.

Answer 5

There is a risk but I think you have it backwards. Adoptive parents should hope and pray that a child is loved and wanted by their mother and that she will eventually be able to care for them. Not that they don't or shouldn't.  I don't think adoption is for you.

Answer 6

The real risks of the child's first parents expressing care and concern for the child are that all or some of the people involved will not be prepared to handle the grief and pain of the original separation.

If you opt to become a 'forever' family realize that it is an extended family you will 'forever' be a part of.  The child will forever be a part of his/her original family too.  Honoring the child's origins might be the best way to minimize your risks.

Answer 7

Think of it this way: the more poor and desperate the parents the less of a chance for them to return!  

Now add DISTANCE, and an oppressive government like you have in international adoption, and wallah!  NO BABY MAMA DRAMA!

You'll need more cash, though.  Deals with guarantees like that don't come cheap!

Answer 8

Well, there are a few misconceptions here.  #1, when you adopt from foster care, the parents rights have already been terminated.  A child can NOT be adopted from foster care until the TPR (termination of parental rights), so there is NO danger that the first parents could take the child back.

#2, any adopted child will ALWAYS have two sets of parents, and will probably always have some positive feelings about their first parents.  If you can't handle sharing your child with another set of parents, don't adopt.  Most adoptees do eventually want to find their first parents, and it is always a good idea to have an open adoption (as open as possible, anyway).  If the children were abused, and their first parents are not safe, then the "open" adoption can consist of letters and pictures sent via a third party.  The point is to keep lines of communication open for that eventual probability that the child will want to get back in touch with his/her roots.  

#3, if and when a child does want to get back in touch with his/her first parents, it's NOT any kind of a reflection on the adoptive family, or the relationship the adoptee has with his/her family.  It's natural to want to know where you come from, to want to see the people you came from.  There's no reason why any child can't love both sets of parents equally.  Even when you adopt privately, there is NO reason to compete between the parents.  In fact, if there are no safety issues involved, a fully, wide-open adoption is best for the child.

Best of luck to you!

ETA:  There's proof that independent and I aren't the same person.  Our posts were 54 seconds apart.  I type fast, but not THAT fast.  LOL

ETA2:  The purpose of foster care is reunification with the natural family.  If that's not possible, THEN an adoption takes place.  I've heard that somewhere around 800,000 kids are put into foster care each year, and over 100,000 of them don't go home.  So yes, most of the time, the point is to put the kids back with their family.

ETA3:  Ok, I get it.  I'm not going to speculate about what Independent meant, but I think there might be some miscommunication.  I agree with you - the bio parents should not be able to come back and parent the child once TPR has been completed.  At ANY time up to that point, I am still hopeful that they will be able to parent.  And years later, if something were to happen to the AP's, I would hope the first thought in everyone's minds would be to contact the first parents and see if they are able to parent yet.  Even if it's not likely, I don't think that TPR means "terminating all ties", because the child is still related to their parents, and that isn't going to go away.

ETA:  You're sweet.  I like you.  ((hugs)) right back atcha!

Answer 9

The chance of a birthparent returning for a child exists in domestic and international adoption, but it isn't talked about as much with IA because it does not occur as frequently (and doesn't happen after placement). Once an adoption is finalized, it is rare for a child to be removed from their home because of the return of a parent. But if you are adopting from foster care and the rights of the biological parents have not yet been terminated then the child still is legally theirs and they can decided to parent them.

Two of my friends had failed domestic adoptions. Each time, the baby was placed with them prior to the biological parents' rights being terminated and they decided to parent their child. In cases such as those, the child isn't being taken away wrongly because s/he was placed with them and not yet adopted.

Talking to your local DCF office will provide you with even more information. They should be completely upfront with you about this question.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 10

yeah it is a risk, but if they gave up the child once, who says they will want it now. i think its a risk worth taking, those children NEED homes really bad, and would love to have somewhere to call home. you should do it. . good luck with whatever your choice is.

Answer 11

its a risk.

i think its worth trying anyways.

Answer 12

It is a risk, but when a parent gives their baby up for adoption they only have a limited amount of time that they can change their mind and take the baby back. You will have to look at the laws in your state to get the specifics.

Answer 13

I wish my real mom would have come back for me.

Adoption sucks ***.

Answer 14

Talk to a lawyer.