Are there a many adopted people who don't have children?

Question

I have absolutely no knowledge about any stats on this, nor do I have an opinion on it. I am only asking because recently one of my AP friends said that she's noticed that many adoptees that she knows don't have children. She thinks that perhaps a higher percentage of adoptees than non-adoptees don't end up having children. I found it an interesting thought.

I am interested in evidence that leads to either a positive or negative conclusion, both anecdotal and statistical, if statistical evidence can be found.

Concerning my own situation, I'm adopted and have no children. My best friend is adopted and has no children. I'm infertile. She's not infertile, but chose to not have children.

As I stated previously, I have no evidence or opinion about her thought being either true or false. I'm looking forward to a variety of responses. Thanks, everyone.

Answer 1

Laurie,

I have often heard that bmoms don't have kids afterwards (i believe the term is secondary infertility) so i would also like to know how many bmoms end up adopting?

this is an excellent question that you've posted.  I am an adoptee but i do have a child AND a beautiful 6 mo old granddaughter.  I know a few other adoptees with child(ren) but, since i don't always bring up adoption, i can't be sure of the many pregnant people i see around work if they're adoptees or bmoms.

good question -- i'm looking forward to seeing the answers.

Answer 2

good question!! I'm going to research and see if I can find anything available. Never thought about this... i'll edit and add if i find anything :)

Answer 3

My husband is adopted and we have two kids.  He was excited because they were his first blood relatives and the first people he knew that looked like him.  I think adoption has little to do with people choosing to have children or not.  It has to be the same as unadopted people, where your life experiences and personality play a stronger role in the decision.

Answer 4

There were three of us given up for adoption.  I had three children, my sister had two and I have a brother who had none.

Honestly, the fact that I am an adoptee didn't really affect my decision on whether or not I was going to have children, but I did wait until I was married, had a stable income and a home and knew that I could provide them with the kind of life I didn't have.

My bio mother didn't have anymore children and my bio father had a son, that didn't know he even had other siblings.

I think that consciously or unconsciously an adoptee's decision on whether or not to have children, or not having them until they know they can provide for them is directly related to the fact that they were given up for adoption.

I'd like to know how many adoptee's have given their children up for adoption.  I'd never put my children through that system!  No one would be able to convince me that the system has changed and some of those foster parents weren't fit to raise dogs, let alone a child--although, I would choose adoption over abortion--at least the child has a fighting chance.

Answer 5

I don't know the research, but most every adopted child I know that is an adult now, has a child- and I am adopted and adopted 2 children myself.

Answer 6

I have kids and my bio mother (who was adopted) went on to have 8!!

HA HA.

What more can I say.

Good question though

Answer 7

I'm adopted & also a child of the foster care system (age11 until I aged out at 18) I have 4 children biologically and my 2 nephews live with us as foster children

My brother is also adopted and has none by choice

Guess that doesn't really help much eh?

ETA: I just realized I waited until after I had been through the reunion experience to have kids, not sure if that maybe matters...

Answer 8

This is an interesting question and brings up a lot of things for me.  As an adult adoptee I have a child, and lost 5 to illness during pregnancy, obviously I chose to have children, my body and I just didnt agree on the subject terribly well.  My bio mother went on to have three other children.  She was pregnant with my sister 11 months after my birth, she and the father married and they went on to have 2 girls and a boy.  Throughout the entire marraige my mother and her children were repeatedly abused physically and emotionally by her husband, the relationship ended in divorce.  He has no contact with either her or their children.  If my mother hadnt been forced to give me up my sisters and brothers may not have been born, or, I may have been raised by an abusive step father.  Instead, I was adopted by a loving family who wanted me desperately.  My decision to become a mother came from my adoptive mother who was and still is a fantastic example of motherhood.

Answer 9

I am a birth father. My adoptive daughter(who I now know and have a great relationship with) has two daughters of her own. My grand daughters. Just contributing and I starred this. I want to learn and learn and learn some more myself about this and many things.

Answer 10

I was adopted and now have 5 terrific kids. I always wanted kids ever since I was little even though I had a abusive upbringing. I guess everyone is different in wanting kids or not.  :)

Answer 11

I'm adopted, and was intentionally childless until I was 38.  I knew I wanted children, but would not consider having them until I was in a place emotionally, financially, etc. where I could do the best parenting job I was capable of doing.

I now have 3 children.  It seems most adoptees I know IRL have children.  My BFF, also adopted has 2.  The adoptees I know online are mixed, either have children, or are intentionally childless.

Answer 12

i'm adopted.  i'm 39 and never wanted children bc i couldn't handle the thought of being abandoned by a potential husband.  now i'm getting married for the first time and i want kids now.  i'm scared i'm going to hover bc i'm terrified of losing them.

Answer 13

I am an adoptee and I don't have children. This is a decision I have made for now.

I have two role models of mothers, both of them awful in different ways.

What do I know about being a good mother!

And yes they were a big part of the decision not to, as was the constant reminder by people to not have kids at the wrong time, with the wrong person etc like my first mother. And my adoptive mother whose own family say they are surprised us kids turned out as well as we did because she is/was so strange and damaged (her families words not mine).

Answer 14

I'm adopted and I have children.  It was fabulous finally having a blood relative, I'm very glad I do.  I do know a couple other adoptees who haven't had any children by choice.

A-ok said something about "secondary infertility", which I know happened to my bio parents.  My first mom never got pregnant again after me despite trying, and my first dad married a woman who was infertile.  Weird.  Not really your question, but I wonder how often that happens?

Answer 15

I am adopted and I did wait to have children until I was married and as financially stable as I thought we could be.  I don't think I did this because I was adopted though.  I think it has to do with how I was raised.  I was raised by parents who showed me a loving, married couple who were devoted to all of their children's needs.  

So I wanted to be in the same type of situation to raise my children in the same mannor as I was.  Because of my experience my husband and I have discussed adopting from the foster care agency so we can provide a child a good home environment, one that they'll know they won't have to leave.

A very interesting question though.  I'd never thought about it that way.

Answer 16

my abro has no children by choice, asis and I each have three.

Answer 17

I am 34 and I don't have any children.  I didn't think that I wanted any until recently. I always thought my depression and other problems were hereditary and I didn't want to pass them and any other medical problems that I don't know about  on to my children.  I know think that most of my problems stem from the act of adoption, not just my biological parents.

My boyfriend who is 34 was adopted out of foster care.  He also does not have any children.  We have talked about having a child together and how the child would be the "first" blood relative for both of us.

My adopted brother is 37 and he doesn't have any children and as far as I know ( to the surprise of his wife) doesn't want to have any.

One of my friends has a brother and a sister who were both adopted, she was biological.  Her brother married another adoptee and they have had 3 biological children.  Her sister is married and adopted 3 children out of foster care but has no biological children.  I am not sure if she tried to have biological children or not.

More evidence that every adoptees experience is different!