Are there adoptive parents willing to take the risk of a special needs child?

Question

My BF and I have been together for almost 3 years. He is 37, I am 40. We have 2 kids each from previous marriages. I recently found out I am pregnant. The fact that we are pregnant is a miracle. (He has slow swimmers and I have only one good falopian tube) He is very much against having the baby, so I have made an appointment for an abortion but the more I think about it the more I cry. I am really considering having the baby and giving it up for adoption... there might be complications and the possibility that the baby may be a special needs child.( I am 40 years old remember). What are the chances of finding a loving family who is willing to take the risk?

Answer 1

DON'T GO FOR ABORTION.DON'T. THEIR ARE ALOT OF PEOPLE THAT WILL HELP YOU WITH THIS CHILD.AND IF YOU WANT TO GIVE THIS CHILD UP FOR ADOPTED THEN DO THAT PLEASE. THEIR ARE PEOPLE OUT THEIR THAT WILL ADOPTED KIDS WITH A SPECIAL NEEDS. DON'T LET THAT STOP YOU FROM GIVING A SPECIAL THING TO SOME PARNETS THAT JUST WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A BABY. I KNOW IN MY HEART AND I HAVE SEEN PARNETS THAT CAN NOT HAVE KIDS OR IF THEY HAVE KIDS THAT WANT CHILD WILL LOVE KIDS NO MATTER IF THEIR BLIND OR BORN WITH ONE ARE OR MENTAL RETARTED.IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT IS WRONG. JUST GIVE  YOUR CHILD A RIGHT TO HAVE A CHANGE AT LIFE. I KNOW IT WILL BE HARD.I WISH I COULD BE THEIR TALKING TO YOU IN PERSON.BECAUSE I WOULD TELL YOU THAT IF MY MOTHER HAD DONE ABORTION I WOULD NOT BE HERE TO DAY. AND I AM THANKFUL THAT MY MOTHER DID NOT DO THAT.AND I WOULD TELL YOU I WOULD TAKE YOUR CHILD AND LOVE IT AND TELL YOU HOW THEY WERE DOING. DON'T LET  YOUR AGE GET YOU DOWN.BECAUSE THEIR IS A CHANGE THE BABY WILL BE FINE.IF A 50 OR A 60 YRS. OLD WOMEN CAN HAVE HEARTLY KIDS YOU CAN TOO. THINK THE BABY WILL BE ALRIGHT UNLESS YOU HEAR OUR WISE.....GOOD LUCK AND IF YOU NEED SOMEBODY TO TALK TO HERE IS MY E-MAIL [e-mail]

Answer 2

I want the baby! We've been trying for four years and working with various adoption agencies for going on two years now. We're open to a lot of special needs and such. And any baby could come out as special needs. Your age is a factor, making this a possibility, but younger people have children with issues, too.

Answer 3

Through the networking of ethical, licensed agencies, there are adoptive parents for EVERY baby!!

Children with Down Syndrome, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, AIDS, Cocaine exposure, Cerebral Palsy, etc.  A really good agency will not be stumped by this possibility.  If you need referrals, email me and I will respond.

Good Luck!!

Answer 4

I am 100% positive you will find a family that will be happy with your baby. If it hurts you that much to think about abortion, don't do it. There are plenty of people that would be great parents to your  baby. If you have questions about adoption, please email me...I have placed a child before.

Answer 5

there are lots of parents who want to adopt a new born, doesn't matter the special needs the child might have.

Just wanted also to make sure that people who might read this post and get interested to be careful with scams. they are very usual in the adoption world and although this person who is writing this question seems very honest, there are still lots of people who are not

Answer 6

There are SOO many parents out there waiting to adopt! I say that if it pains you to think about getting an abortion, then dont do it. You do not want to live with regret the rest of your life.There is a chance that I may not be able to have children when I get older because of a genetic disease in my family. Therefore, I understand that there are parents out there (like I will be someday) waiting and praying for a baby. Please give this miracle baby a chance!

Answer 7

this is a site with many good prospective parents for your baby good luck

http://www.americanadoptions.com/?ysmwa=...

Answer 8

Absolutely!  I adopted a CP child and I love her with all my heart.  Go to an private adoption agency and pick the parents for your child from their long list of prospective parents.  God bless your choice.

Answer 9

We adopted a special needs child.  I also have friends who adopted special needs children.  If you want actual statistics though, I would speak with a local adoption agency.  

Good luck to you whatever decision you make.

Answer 10

Just curious but what would be your boyfriend's reasoning for not wanting the child?  As far as gestating to term just because you are over 40 doesn't mean you're going to give birth to a "special needs" child.  I have a number of friends who all were in their late 30s and 40s when they started having their families and not one of those children were "special needs".  On the contrary, the one person in my circle of freinds who has such a child gave birth to him when she was in her early 20s.  I even have one friend who gave birth for the first, and last time at the age of 50, that child is now a healthy happy and very active 5 year old.

Answer 11

r u a phsyco killing the baby abortions wrong,also leaving it 4 some one else 2 take care of that baby may never get 2 have a mom or dad,then you will feel that guilt that u left that baby alone

Answer 12

There is a 100 % chance that you can find a home for your baby. No matter what kind of complications that you may have. Please please please give your baby a chance. There is nothing wrong with having your baby and giving him up for adoption. It is the most honorable option you can do if you know that you will not be able to give him the best, most stable environment to grow up in.

Answer 13

I am so glad to hear that you're thinking about keeping the baby. The chances that the baby has downs are very low. I have known so many women that have had a baby past the age of 40.

You will have no problem finding a loving family for the baby should you decide to give it up for adoption. I wish you and the baby all the best.

P.S. I really admire your courage. You are speaking for the baby who has no choice in this matter.

Answer 14

We have adopted 3 children with special needs. I can gaurantee that if your baby does have special needs, there will be a family open to you.  Please e-mail me if I can help.

Answer 15

I truly hope you elect to give the child life.  Consider the fact that your own words stated that this is a miracle child to begin with.  This is a message for you both.  Your age does present the possibilty of something going awry but it does not gaurantee it either.      

I have put a link in the sources section for you to see just how many people have adopted a special needs child from China.  A completely different country!  And there are more waiting for the next list to be released for adoption too.  This tells you that it is possible.  

I am an adoptive parent with 2 biological boys as well.  There truly are so many couples who would love to have more children.  The process and the paperwork is so exhausting, and yet we do it.  It was so easy to have my bio children, but adopting--I have never been so scrutinized, and had every piece of personal paperwork provided, as well as photos of our home, & in home visits by a social worker.  If a couple is willing to go through that daunting process then please give them an opportunity to provide your child with a home and a life.

Wishing you the best on your decision.

Answer 16

Perhaps you should get testing done to see if the baby has Downs or Spina Bifida.

Answer 17

I have to admit the fact that I probally wouldn't adopt a child like that(don't listen to me I am only 11).  But I know that their are plenty of people who would. DON'T do an abortion.  

                                        Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 18

If you want the baby you should have it. It is your body so it is your decision. I don't think you should assume that your baby will be special needs just because you are 40. Your baby could be perfectly healthy and a real blessing to you. People will adopt a baby special needs or not because there are so many of us that are aching for a baby but have not been able to have one. Good luck.

P.S. I would also dump the BF

Answer 19

You are jumping to conclusions.  Along with the tests you can get that the other posters mentioned you may also want to get a test to see if you are lacking in any vitamins and minerals.  Many women are having babies later in life.  I personally am aware of hundreds of woman in my lifetime who have had children in their 40's and they were healthy beautiful babies.  Please, make the decision based off of your feelings on this, not your boyfriends.  If you and your man break up down the road, will you regret having an abortion or giving your baby up?  If the answer is yes then think hard about this decision.

Answer 20

There are extremely caring people out there who would be willing to take in a child with special needs. Just because you are 40 doesn't mean that you will most likely have a child with problems either, you are at higher risk than someone aged 25, but is still not most likely and definately not a definate. If you cry because of the guilt and sadness now, imagine 10 years from now. You will likely hate your bf, and you will probably be angry with yourself as well. I wish you the best in whatever decision you choose-- but do not let him talk you in to something you do not want to do.

Answer 21

You are not that old anymore to have a child!  Didn't you hear about that story in NJ of the 60 year old woman giving birth!..  I don't know you but I would like to tell you to keep the baby!  I think things happen for a reason and you two were meant for this baby.  It is a miracle, enjoy it.  Talk to him and tell him you are having second thoughts.

Answer 22

You would do blood work during your pregnancy..than you would go for an amio to make sure everything is ok when you are 16 weeks pregnant.  if all is Ok, you can than decide to give away your healthy baby or keep her..whatever you decide!  Good Luck!

Answer 23

Only you can decide what's best for you, your baby, and your family.But no worries, plenty of people would adore a new addition to the family! Me included! Look, there are no guarantees that ANYONE will have a healthy baby, but any child is a blessing!

Answer 24

the cance is good.