Are there any Asians Americans that are happy they were adopted by interracial (AA/CC)couples?

Question

My husband and I are in a inter-cultural marriage (we already have a biological son- we are AA and CC) and we are going to adopt from an Asian country. I'm well aware that there are black and inter-cultural couples adopting from Asian countries now, but I was wondering if there were any adult Asian adoptees that have been adopted into families like these. I would like to know how you feel about it. I don't mind if people respond in a "I have a friend ..." sort of way. I'm open to any and all opinions. This time I swear I won't pick an answer so quickly!

Thanks,

Rebekah

Answer 1

My cousin was adopted from China, she has been back twice. She is happy about her adoption and happy to be in an racially blended family similar to yours. She is also not in denial she has had counsling for quite a few years to help her work through issues assoicated with international adoption, especially China and the conditions she was abandoned. We are very close and have spoken very intimately about her adoption, insecurities and anger especially since coming here and seeing what kind of adoptee's lurk here. She comes here often but refuses to post. Not all Asian Adoptee's feel like those who post here, adoptee's who feel so much anger and hatred added to the need to belittle and insult are those who have normal issues but have not delt with them. The majority of adoptee's feel these things but deal with them and resolve the issues. I would suggest a different adoption forum.  I am talking with her now and she says that it is important to learn as much about the culture as you can , including the language. She said that was one of the greastet things her parents did for her. She was able to communicate to those in her country in her native tounge when she went back.

Answer 2

I know quite a few Asian adoptees that have been adopted by various inter-racial couples. All of then I know have no issue with their parents being of different races.

Answer 3

Most adult Asian adoptees that I have *known* are NOT at all happy to have been stolen from their native country. There are plenty of blogs out there for you to see this for yourself.

International adopters are the WORST kind of adopters. If you absolutely MUST adopt, then move to the country you want to adopt from. Don't steal a child's country/culture from him/her because it suits you better. Change YOUR life, your home, your job, your culture, if you really want to help a child from another country.

Answer 4

As a transracial-adoptive parent and one of those evil international adoptive parents, my experience has been that as long as the racial and cultural identity of the child is encouraged and nurtured, it doesn't matter what the racial combination of the parents are.  

I would recommend finding healthy adult role models of the same race/ethnicity of your child.  As I have to remind people with my family's circumstances, Africa is a continent, not a country.  And therefore Asia is a continent and not a country.  So, if you adopt from China, seek out support from the Chinese community; if from South Korea, seek out support from the South Korean community.

We've been fortunate to not only have friends/relatives from my children's country and region of origin, but have had great outpouring of love and support from the African immigrant community where I live, not only from my children's country of origin, but from the entire continent.  

There are certainly challenges and considerations when adopting transracially, but if you take the time and effort to seek support and resources, those challenges can be overcome.

Good luck!

Answer 5

try this site, as it has many adoptees and PAP's who will help you. Good luck!

http://forums.adoption.com/

Answer 6

Rebekah,

I'm sorry, I don't know of any. I think it would be a very small group, to be honest, because most African Americans tend to adopt AA children, and because there is certainly prejudice and probably outright discrimination against African Americans both from adoption agencies and also certain countries (USA certainly included). I'm glad you heard from the 13 year old.

Not that it is the same at all, but I do know of several Asians that were adopted into Jewish families. And at least one even has a blog:

http://juliasworld.wordpress.com/

As the previous answers have not-so-gently pointed out, international adoption can be hard on adoptees, because they are losing not only their first family, but also their native language, culture, food, smells, being able to blend in -- a whole host of things. So you have to be open and willing to accept that your child has losses, and to support him or her in all ways in coping with those losses.

And the other big issue they would face here would be racism. And you know all about that, of course, so you would be better equipped than most any white adoptive parent to help your child to be strong in the face of racism. For one thing you would be more likely to see it. Though I do have to say that from the experience of my friends, racism is sometimes expressed pretty differently against African Americans vs Asian Americans, so you might not always see it. But you would have the experience of growing up dealing with racism, so you would be able to help your child. Of course you would be an extremely conspicuous family. But you already are. And you would face prejudice from within the African American community -- but you've been there and done that also. So as long as you go into it with your eyes super wide open, I think your family would be healthier for a child adopted from Asia than a family with 2 white parents(like mine).

Feel free to email me back (I'm guessing you got my first email) if you have questions.

Andrea

ETA:

OBTW, I thought of this while writing my reply: you might not be able to as easily use the AA abbreviation anymore, as it could also mean Asian American. In fact without your avatar, that is how this question reads. (this is not a criticism at all, just something I noticed)

BTW, what does CC mean? Caucasian?  I'd never seen that one.

ETA2:

Rebekah, I'm sorry, I should have put in a grin or something on the AA comment, because it actually kind of struck me as amusing. Go ahead and use whatever you like!

I, for one, am totally okay with being called White (or white). That's the term I use to describe myself, unless there's some special reason to get into ethnicity. Caucasian just has always seemed weird to me, because neither my ancestors nor those of most whites came from anywhere near the Caucusus Mountains, which are way over in Eastern Europe (Georgia, Chechnya and thereabouts), and I think it was some sort of weird, outdated Aryan kinda thing that the name came from. It doesn't offend me, but it just seems inaccurate. European American is fine, except it is too long for everyday speech or writing. Just like African American. So I mostly use white and black, while striving to call everyone what they prefer to be called.

Sorry, just rambling here. Even trying to talk terminology of race gets so dang complicated -- forget trying to talk about racism. But we NEED to talk about it, even if it is hard.