Are there any forums for legal, inexpensive adoption?

Question

Due to pregnancy, delivery, and after complications. My husband decided to get a vasectomy. We agreed that there were to many children out there that needed good loving homes and that we would simply adopt instead of having more biological children. This seemed okay at the time. But after the vasectomy and much research, we found that adoption is much to expensive for us. We've thought about foster parenting and possible adoption through that, but I (We) get so attached, that I'm afraid we'd have a very difficult time letting go of a child once we were caring for them. We also have 3 children of our own that i'm sure would feel the same way. And I would not want to put children in and out of their young lives. We VERY much want to adopt! Does anyone know of any forums, groups, programs, etc. where we might be able to adopt a child (legally) but with out the enormous expense that is traditionally involved?

Answer 1

Even with fostering you can state you will only consider being placed with children who are "cleared" to be adopted. I have known several people that did that. You may have to wait longer, but it can be done.

Answer 2

I work for Social Services in California and would encourage you and your husband contact your county Social Services for specific information in your state of residence.  In general if you choose to become a foster/adoptive parent through either a certified adoption agency or county Social Services you and your family will be given information about any potential child.  It is through the Adoptive Homestudy process that you and your adoptions worker will talk about at what stage you would like a child placed in your home.  There are children that are in "reunification" meaning that 1 or both parents are working on having their child returned to their care.  There are also children that are "permanently planned" meaning the Court has terminated reunification services and Social Services is actively seeking homes that would be willing to commit to either guardianship or adoption.   Most of these children are older and/or members of a sibling set.  There is also some risk involved with becoming a foster/adoptive parent.  Until TPR (termination of parental rights) is completed a parent and/or family member can file motions in court requesting that the child be placed in their care.  

It is possible to request reimbursement of some of the costs associated with becoming an adoptive parent and you can submit for a tax write off on your income taxes.  Also, upon finalization of an adoption (non-international) you will be eligible to receive AAP (Adoption Assistance) to assist in the on-going cost of care for a child and post adoptive services can provide you and your family emotional support.

Answer 3

HAve you explored Catholic Charities? I know a couple of people who adopted babies thorugh that agency.

Answer 4

You've gotten some very good answers on adopting but I'm just going to put one more plug in for fostering (I was a foster parent for years and years).  You wouldn't necessarily have to foster to adopt a child from Social Services but generall the children who's parental rights have been terminated making them free for adoption are a little older.  If you wanted a younger foster child you usually have to foster and if your foster child ends up having it's parental rights terminated the foster parent usually gets first right of refusal.

Yes, you will get attached but you have to remember how valuable your time with that child is going to be in their lives, how much you can teach them about "normal" family life.  And I have to say that my biological children were only positively influenced by their experience with foster children.  Not only did they become tolerant of different races, cultures, physical and behavioral problems but they were also taught about the value of service to the community.  And they all learned first hand, up-close and personal the dangers of drinking while pregnant, abuse, family violence, unsafe s*x, drugs and other criminal behavior.

Best of Luck

Answer 5

I would still recommend you contact your county Social Services.  My 2nd cousin didn't have to foster to get his daughter, they only paid for the home study.  She was 7 at the time and had been passed over by like 97 couples because she had a heart defect that surgeons can repair.  I think she's been in foster care most of her life.  They got her almost immediately. She's 8 now and officially adopted. The State is still paying for her medical care until after her surgery early next year and followup.  They are hoping to adopt another daughter (one that their daughter already knows) prior to the surgery.

Answer 6

Indapendant Adoption is a cost affective way to adopt.You do all the work of locateing a B/M.You pay for your attorny cost aprox 600 to 5,000.You typicaly have 6 months to pay all these cost.Your birth mother may have exspences such as rent or food cost.Ave 500.00 a month.You can bild your own family web page and place an add in local news paper directing Potenchiol B/M to view your family and contact you.You can do this with yahoo sight bildre for 9.00 a month.You will be interviewing potenchiel birth moms and they you so you will need to make a list of questions for her you also need to know what kind of adoption you are seeking ,Closed,open simi open ect.I do not recomend foster care for a family who wants to adopt a baby.Iv been their done that and had my heart riped out.Iv also adopted a todler from foster care that worked out and rather quickly due to her disablity.You have no imput to the childs best interest.Often you see suffering at the hands of the foster care system as well as the parents it sucks.no system is perfect and they do do a lot of children good but it is very diffcult emoshionaly to be a foster parent.things change at a phone calls notice

Answer 7

There is a Yahoo group for adoption fundraising.  Check it out, I am a member and have gotten some really good ideas.  

Also, google fundraising ideas.  It can take a long time to raise the money, but with some creativity, you can probably do it.

By the way, I am a foster parent.  My husband and I were leary at first, because we also get attached.  However, even though it is difficult when the children go home, the rewards far outway the pain!