Are there any pro-biological family folks here?

Question

Do any biological offspring here speak of the joys of being born into your family? Is it a magical blessing to be born into a good, moral home?

Answer 1

i grew up with out a father , i love my life. when grow up without somthing or with somthing you dont need anyother way nor do you care if someone else has somthing that you dont. in the end as long as your a good mother then what else does the baby need? my mother protected me by keeping me away from my father

Answer 2

Good question.

My son just told me that it's okay. He doesn't like how broke we are all the time but he likes it here. He has a different view than most, his older half sister was put up for adoption.  

Answer 3

I think bioloy can be great.  but at some point i think we all out grow our families weather bio or not.  

My little family is a mix.  its me, my hunnie, and my daughter.  he has been with me since i was 3 months pregnant, we had a pre existing relationship, and has been to all her appointments, heard her heart beat, saw her on the monitor......held me as i gave birth, changed her dirty diapers (i know alot of men who wont do that) and she isn't his bio, i named her after him.  if we talk about her bio who did nothing but lie to me, knock me up and run away.  i get mad. and how dare he if he thinks he is goin to come in my childs life EVER and mess with her head.  he is not and will NEVER be her FATHER.  

now if your expand....my hunnies mom, i love her, she's great.  she drives him nuts, but they get along ok :-)  his father died when he was a teen and he was an only child his mom had a hard time carrying a child.

my parents.....mom needs a spanking and to get with her hand caught in the cookie jar. take it for what you will.  my dad is blinded by my mom and will do her bidding because he doesn't want to loose his wife.  i dont blame him i wouldn't want to face being alone at 60.  my sister is a manipulative caniving wench and i just try to play the game better then her.

but that the bad stuff.

i was raised to know right from wrong, good from bad.  to respect my elders, to obey the law (well for the most part lol you all know the little stuff --> 58 in a 55mph.....it is still a law) I believe in god, I believe in helping others, i believe that what goes around comes around so you better be good :-) i always welcome the less fortunate.  want to help the needy, now i just have to do it without taking from my kid :-)

i learned all that from my parents despite thier flaws.  so its not all bad

Answer 4

LOL!   I haven't seen any.  I do know there are a lot of bioptees in the Teen section complaining about their bio families though.  ;-)

Answer 5

I'm not sure exactly what you mean by "pro-biological family." I think that it's best for children to be raised by their biological families unless there's a major reason why that isn't possible or isn't safe, but unfortunately we don't live in a perfect world, and sometimes those major reasons do exist. I don't think I'm more pro- than most people are, but I'm certainly not against biological family myself.

As for my own family, yes, it is a blessing to have been raised in a good, moral home. "Magical," I don't know-- that sounds kind of dismissive. But a blessing, yes. I'm grateful to my parents that they raised me in such a loving and supportive way.

I don't think that would be any less true if I were adopted. My life would be more complicated, because I'd have another family as well, but I wouldn't have had any less of a good experience being raised by my parents.

I think the joys of being raised in my particular family are more based on who they are, and less about biology. My mother probably could have ended up with a child more similar to herself by drawing names out of a hat than by giving birth to me. When people talk about feeling a special bond of having the same nature with the people they're biologically related to, especially mothers, I think it's great they feel that way, but that doesn't match my experience. I don't act anything like my mother, though she is my biological mother. I'm more like my dad, but I'm not sure if it's nature or nurture.

I also can't relate to what people say about the importance of being raised by people who look like you, seeing your own face reflected in the faces of your family-- though again, it's totally valid for them to feel that way, I'm aware I'm the odd one, not the norm-- because I look so different from my (biological) family that for my entire life, people have been asking me on a regular basis if I was adopted. No, actually, I just got the weirdo genetic combo.

(One of my friends from college actually remains convinced that I am in fact adopted and was just never told. I explained that adoption is not a taboo subject in our family and that my parents were very open about the adoption of other relatives, so I would have been told if that were the case. This doesn't satisfy her, and she still thinks I look and act too different to possibly be biologically related.)

Just to make clear, I am NOT saying biology isn't important. I know my experience is not the typical one. I know many people have much different views of biological ties, and that those ties seem stronger and more crucial. They are totally right to feel and experience that. But since the question is about MY family, I need to be honest about how things really played out, rather than just pretending the things that are true for other people were also true for me.

That's kind of a rambling answer, sorry. Yes, I will speak of the joys of my biological family-- they're great. But they would be great people even if we didn't share DNA.

Answer 6

Children don't tend to speak of the joys of being in their families.  Part of being a teenager is finding fault and complaining mostly about the people who are raising you.  It has nothing to do with whether you're adopted or raised by your biological parents.

cw

Answer 7

I am pro "positive" family whatever and however that family comes about.  

Why would biological offspring come into an *adoption* category to say they're happy?  That doesn't make sense to me.

I think MANY things are blessings.  Some are even blessings in disguise.

Answer 8

I wouldn't say that I'm pro-biological families but more so pro human rights. I'm against taking advantage of people for ones personal gain. I'm against all forms of kidnapping regardless what a 10cent piece of paper says. I'm against distorting the meaning of "orphan". I'm against separating mothers and children over a few dollars and/or someone else's infertility issues. I'm against people that try to play God with children by treating them like guinea pigs or trying to force them into bonding with strangers and depriving them of a voice.  I'm against blocking the rights of children to know who they are completely and where they came from.

I was born into a family that allowed me to pursue whatever ideology, religion, belief or interest that I wanted to follow. I was taught to give to others less fortunate and never take advantage of someone in need for my own personal benefit.

I never looked at it as magical but more so normal until I started opening up my eyes to the selfishness of people struggling with personal integrity and greed who can't help others unless they get something in return.  I feel fortunate and grateful to the people I was raised by, the people I was raised with and the people I was raised  around. Volunteer work was mandatory in my family and can't say how much it helped me develop compassion.

My biological family(mom,dad, stepdad, grandparents,10 bros/sisters,17 nephew/nieces, 19 aunts/uncles, too numerous to count cousins and the 7 kids I help by helping their mothers raise them).