Are there any strict parents out there?

Question

I suppose I just need a little support. I am a strict parent. When I speak I expect that my child listens. I don't let my 16 month old run loose like a wild man. I don't let my 9 year old talk back. I make sure my kids behave. I don't want my kids to be the ones NO one wants to be around. But DAILY it seems that we are surrounded by rule-less children. Bribing and rewarding bad behavior seems to be the standard. I guess I just need someone else to say they understand and also believe children should behave. Is there anyone else out there?

Answer 1

It's so frustrating.  My sister-in-law tries to discipline her kids and they know she wont follow thru, therefore they walk all over her.  My kids know I mean business, and they listen.

I am so tired of people trying to be their kids friends.  I love my kids enough to discipline them.  I am my kids friend, but I am their mother first!

Answer 2

nothing wrong with a spanking it builds character

Answer 3

i am the same with my girls. When I say no, I mean no. Though my girls are only 2 & 3 they know that mummy means business espec when I raise my voice. They use their manner's and are polite. I too do not want my kids to be those kids that know one want's to be around.

I will not stand for my children throwing tanturms in public or around friends and family. I tell them then and there that if they do not behave I will spank them (yes ppl I spank my kids when they are being unruly).

You can say that it does not teach a child anything by sapnking them when in natural fact it does..If a a child bad mouths you in the store are you seriuosly going to stand there and take it?.. I don't think so?

Children need to be taught @ an early age how not to act and how to behave otherwise we will end with kids that are disrepsectful and ungrateful and I'm sorry but I will not have my child turn out like that.

thank you for bring this one up. So yes I too am a strict parent.

Answer 4

I just want to say "thank you". I will be able to appreciate your children when I am out in public with them. I am strict-but I am an older mother also. Too many people nowadays are in a rush and do not realize how the daily behavior will eventually become a permanent thing. They cannot take the time to be effective parents because they are on the cell phone or in a hurry to get to work. I think it's easier to give in than to take a misbehaving child out of the store and go home. I also have my children (pre-teen/teen) walk home (1-2 blks) when their behavior in the van isn't acceptable, and they've been warned. I gladly claim that I am a "mean mother". It is always interesting when they notice and are appalled by other kids behavior-esp. towards their own parents. This means they are "getting it". You will be happy when these times come for you. They are "mother's moments". The times when it is all worth it!

Answer 5

I'm not sure I would be considered a strict mom. I am patient with my daughters, and I do make exceptions to rules when appropriate. Still, my daughters behave decently in public (at least as far as I know) because they have been taught to respect other people's feelings and expectations. If they intentionally disobey or defy me or choose to break basic rules, they know there will be consequences, and one of those may well be a trip over mom's knee.

Answer 6

im here!! and the crappy part about being a strict parent is its practically illegal these days. if you dont control your kids they will control you. i think there is a big difference in abuse and disipline. im one of the parents who still believes in good ole whoopins IF NEEDED. and im scared to even raise my voice to my child in the store cuz ppl assume your abusing them. i would be the first person to turn someone in for child abuse endangering or neglect ect....there is a HUGE difference in people who do c**p like that compaired to actually loving your child and wanting them to be raised right!! this is a crazier world we live in today than when i was a child....its best to be strict but loving. my kids know the rules and they arent bendable. i see so many kids talking back to parents and doing what they want...back when i was young i would have been out in the back yard gettin my @ss whooped for some of the things i see kids doing these days. i knew better....i was scared to get in trouble!! and i dont hate my parents today....we are very close...not a thing wrong with me. i am who i am because of them keeping me on track. my kids will be the same because of me (and my parents teaching me right). and im not saying being a strict parent means giving spankings all day long ect....actually i have hardly ever had to spank my kids. but sometimes...time out just doesnt get it.

im so sure i will get tons of thumbs down for my answer but my kids wont grow up to be on the streets sellin dope as long as i can help it...

Answer 7

absolutely in agreement with you!!

i have 3 daughters ages 9,7,and 6 and I will NOT tolerate rudeness or disrespect.

my dad was military and growing up-our house was rigid with rules. we NEVER acted up in public or we knew what wrath we'd face when we got home. backtalking and disrespect towards family members or teachers (or anyone of authority for that matter) was dealt with harshly.

my daughters know what rules are expected in my house and they follow them. my fiance had a bit of a hard time with this at first b/c he grew up in a very non-disciplined environment (he's the second oldest of 6 and his mom is a major pushover). for him though, he and his siblings were good kids so not much discipline was needed.

I will spank my kids if they are rude or out of control in public-has only happened a couple of times though b/c they got punished and we've even left a friend's birthday party minutes after getting there b/c of my 6 year old's behavior.

they have things taken away, lose trips to fun places, and miss out on get together's with friends if they break rules.

i've also found that in addition to  being in society where so many kids are not disciplined, tv plays a huge role into how kids think they should behave. our television is locked so that the kids can't turn it on w/out a password and only certain stations are allowed (30 mins a day max-even on weekends). the same for the computer. kids these days are given too much freedom to experience violence, profanity, and other things on tv.

I still have the occasional issue with my 6 year old b/c her stupid dad thinks that it's his job to spoil her (we are divorced and she's an only child at his house). he was letting her stay up late, eat/drink whatever she wants (cookies and soda for breakfast for example), and was buying her toys for no reason. all it took was a handful of notes from my daughter's teacher and principal at school (b/c she was acting up in class due to his lack in discipline) handed in to a family court judge and most of that stopped. he was threatened with having his rights stripped for being irresponsible.

we tough parents have to stick together-my kid will NOT be a thief, bully, or menace to society as long as i'm raising them. my daughters being the ones that other parents look at in shock won't be tolerated.  

Answer 8

I am the strictest mother I know, and yes, my children are impecably behaved - or so their teachers say.  So do my friends.  I have been told that my children are a role model.

I have high standards, and expect good behaviour.  But again, I have a good relationship with my children and we have fun.  I enjoy them, they know it.  

And by the way, I do and have smacked my children.  But I don't think that is the reason they behave - they behave because I have taught them how to.

Answer 9

Yeah. I'm there with you. I don't think this needs to be accomplished by shouting or smacking (not saying you do), but I'm not willing to put up with c**p and will repeat myself like a broken record until it sinks in, which I sometimes think might not be until they move out ;) . I do allow my 17 month old a lot of freedom. She's allowed to pull stuff out of cupboards and make mess (at home anyway,) but not allowed to be rough or slap people. Obviously one has to make allowances for age. You can't expect a tired two year old to be reasonable, for example. Or a 12 year old boy to remember what you've said 20 mins later, especially if it was about doing chores! Heck, I can't expect hubby to remember, and he's all grown up!  I do want my kids to be able to negotiate with me, but there's a difference between negotiating and being a smart alec.

I think it's important to hang around with people who's children you like. One reason (of many) I'm going to homeschool mine. The kids in our SCA group are lovely and well behaved. The kids in the local homeschool group are a good bunch too. Rowdy, but polite. The worst "fight" I've seen was between two 18 month olds who wanted the same cup. Pretty good for a group of about 30 kids aged from newborn to about 16, eh? There are places to go where the kids are the sort of people you want influencing your own.

Answer 10

i totally agree, i am a young mother of three but i never have forgotten the morals and the need for respect, discipline and order. Children are a product of our raising. If we do not raise them to be respectful and such then there is no telling what they will turn into. I see women in dr.offices and grocery stores who dont mind their  children and it unsettles me. I just want to go up to them and scold the parent not the child, and they are usually yelling at the child instead of just being a better parent.  If everyone raised thier kids like our grandparents were raised things would be a lot better. At least i know im not the only mother who feels this way. I hope there are more out there than just us two.!!

Answer 11

I am strict as well. I will not allow my child to act up in public...if they do and they are way out of control they get a spanking when we get home and they loose a out on a privilege...like a special treat or ice cream...and if they throw a fit because they want candy or a toy...I have never given in...they need to just suck it up