Are there parents who send their kids to public school for the wrong reasons?

Question

Somebody's answer against homeschooling, stating that too many parents choose to homeschool for the wrong reasons, had me think: do parents choose public school for the right reasons? Do they ever question if they are sending them to school for the wrong reasons? Why is public school automatically a good reason but homeschooling is usually a wrong reason?

Answer 1

parents are the deciding factor on their child's education. several good reasons for not going to public school has to do with poor education, crime, and institutional brainwashing of the schools beliefs. If you want a great example of public schools with the problems i mentioned, go ahead and send your kid to Newark, New Jersey school system. Then tell me after a few months, why you pulled him or her out.

Answer 2

The "right" and "wrong" reasons for anything are relative. Some people homeschool for religious purposes. I don't agree with this, really. I homeschool for academic purposes mainly, but my list of reasons I'm homeschooled could go on and on. Maybe some people don't agree with that and think it's the "wrong" reason. Some people homeschool because their kids were bullied or harmed in other ways in public school. Some do it because their children have learning struggles. Some do it because their kids are profoundly gifted. Some do it because they move a lot. Some just want the freedom. The only truly wrong reason I can think of to homeschool is if some sick parent is hurting their child and homeschools to cover it up. But fortunately this isn't a very common trend at all.

I've heard many reasons people choose public school as well. Some of what I feel are the worst arguements for PS I've heard are that it's free, it's the only way kids learn how to act around other kids, it's the only way kids get real-life experience (these two aren't necessarily bad reasons... At least they wouldn't be if they were true. People who use this as their reasoning just don't know any better). I've heard some say they do it because that's what teachers are there for. Some have said they need the break from their kids. Some call it "normal school" and do it because that's what you're apparently supposed to do. I personally think that one is ridiculous, but that's just me. Some say they do it because they want their kids to have more than one "authority figure". Some say it's because they think kids need to "get used to" being bored in class or not having lessons tailored to their needs/interests/abilities or having to sit around and do as their told. Some do it because they honestly don't think they're capable of homeschooling, or because their child has special needs they worry they can't meet. Some do it because they can't afford an alternative. Some don't think their kids need the hand-holding and structure. Some just do it because it's easy/convenient!

Any of these could be "right' or "wrong" reasons in anyone's eyes. It's all dependent on the person.

Answer 3

I do believe that I was the person who stated that I think that some families choose home schooling for the wrong reasons.   To answer your question....  My children attend public school.  We live in an area that has an excellent school system.  I do not see any "wrong" reasons to send your children to school.  There are never any "wrong" reasons to educate your child.  There are never any "wrong" reasons to let your children develop a sense of self that is their own character, not a clone of their parents.  Just like a home schooling parent, I want my child to receive the best education possible.  That being said, I am not a teacher or an educator.  I am not in the position to teach them chemistry, science or biology... my home is not equipped with a lab.  I am not in the position to teach them to the levels that the "trained professionals" are.  I also feel that many parents who home school are in the same position and are not properly educated or equipped to teach their children to the degree that schools are.  There are so many ways to experience life, and I don't feel that I can single handedly provide them with everything that school has to offer....  everything from curriculum to socialization.  Yes, I socialize with my children, but I love for them to come home and tell me about their day.... their day with their peers...how they handled themselves in a particular situation.  I feel that we cannot hide our children from all of the horrible things in the world, but we have to give them a positive home life and equip them with the tools necessary to be a productive individual.  For me, I feel that a positive influence along with the schools diversity and education are the perfect combination.  I feel that when they reach the work place that the set schedule and pressure will be beneficial to their success.  I did not say that home schooling is ALWAYS the wrong reason, what I said was that some people choose it for the wrong reasons.  I do feel that there are few  circumstances that may require a child to be taught at home.

I must respond....  yes, obviously, my children attend public school... and I am hearing a lot of responses that say that public school is horrible and that children who attend public school bully other kids and are focused on maturing too early and being into trends, etc....  The children who behave that way many times do not have a positive home setting.  My children do not get bullied at school and they are not bullies.  As a matter of fact, the first instance either of my boys had with a bully happened at the community playground, not at school.  When this incident occured, they both stood up for the child being bullied.  They both took the child who was being bullied by the hand and led him to his mother.  Here is a kicker... .the child who was doing the bullying was a boy who was home schooled, so bullies are not defined by the school themselves.  My children are into some trends, but not very many.  They are well dressed, well behaved, well spoken, and well educated.  This is due to the positive combination of school and home.

Answer 4

I have home schooled my 2 sons for 3 years now, 7th and 9th grades, and they have never been to a public school and NEVER will. the education is much lower and they can not put individual time into each student like the church school they started in did. Also my oldest has a birthday in Nov and when he was 4 was already reading so I was not going to put him in kindergarten to be board and learn nothing so I put him in the 1st grade at my church school and he did great getting A all the time and loves to learn. Now that he id in high school I am not going to send him to a school that has a D for a grade!  

in my opinion the only thing he misses is the immorality and drug the school are full of, and if you don't think so the teen pregnancy rate is ridiculous now and was bad when I was in school that they had to start a daycare for the students!!!!! no way am I sending my children into that!!!

Answer 5

To DHC:  If you think that homeschooling kids makes them a clone of their parents you really haven't met any homeschoolers.  

My kids are nothing like me.  At all.   LOL    Thankfully since we homeschool they aren't clones of their peers either.    My kids are strong, independant kids who don't let anyone tell them what they should do or what the "popular" do.    

When my kids' friends start doing things like smoking or bullying others, my kids are the ones that stand up and say this isn't right.   Once they stand up there are usually others in the crowd that will follow them but no one else is willing to say it first.

I'm can't teach science or math either.  I hate both and my 14 yr old son is already much better at them then I am.  Thankfully there are great curriculums out there that teach these things well and my husband understands it all.   We are partners in this.  I don't do it all by myself.

Now, back to the original question - I believe some do put their kids in school for the wrong reason.  I can't even count the times I've heard, "I can't wait till my kids go to school - I can't stand them being around anymore."    How sad is that.  School is a place to dump your kids when you get sick of them.   So many don't look at school as an education, they look at it as a place to put their kids so they don't have to deal with them.   They hate summer vacation, Christmas vacation, spring break, etc., because then they have to deal with the kids 24/7.   :(

Answer 6

Most parents don't think they are smart (maybe they're right) and many just want them out of the house and baby sat by someone free of charge.  Some actually think public school actually teaches you something!

Smart kids and memorizers do well in public school.  Some disadvantaged kids who get to play with toys in a well equipped school also can do quite well.

But the educational mentality is designed to prepair kids for COLLEGE not life.

To this day they don't teach you how to write a resume, fill out a job application, do your income taxes, file bankruptcy.

Schools are designed to make leaders and worker ants and the worker ants are NOT trained to keep H&R Block and Lawyers richer.

This is how the society works.

Those who can do, those who can't, pay H&R Block $125 to take the "standard deducation" on their income taxes.

Technically, any 7th grader should be able to fill out a tax form.

Here on this forum no one knows how to research so they come to US to help them.  No one knows how to write an Essay to get into college, even though they have taken AP English.

This is REALITY the NON-HOMESCHOOLERS ask how to do it (instead of running a Google search) and the DISADVANTAGE, SHELTERED, ANTI-SOCIAL homeschoolers are the ones giving them 10 links!

Why?  Homeschoolers who are successful are independent thinkers.  They are doers.  They don't need to hold mommy's hand to cross the street.

That is the reality of the, mostly, American education system.

Here on this forum I saw a 16 year old homeschooler who just got accepted to Stanford.

In the brick school section was this totally dishearted girl who was 17, had finished all her AP courses, has all her credits for a college major diploma who was FORCED to stay in BRICK PUBLIC SCHOOL because the rules say you have to be in 12th grade to graduate.

Her last year she was taking study hall, music, silly history (she'd already had AP Civics), silly English (she already had both Honor's and AP English) and silly science (she already had AP Chemistry and AP Physics).

This was done because of a SILLY RULE that says even if you have what it takes, we won't let you go because YOU HAVE to finish 12th grade!

She was ready to quit school and I told her not to, she'd gone that far, I told her instead to work on her essay, to try and get published, to do community service work and build up a portfollio for college.

Leaving brick school in her last year could have been a disaster because of the silly rules.

But she wanted to call it quits over these rules and I don't blame her.  I think that's a crime. She could have started college 1 year earlier but the BRICK PUBLIC SCHOOL PRISON system won't budge an inch, won't make an exception.

So she spends all day in baby classes waiting for her release from prison after she does her 12 years!

This is the American Educational Mentality and it is why homeschooling has grown from less than 1% in 1980 to 8% today with a projected 15% by 2020.

Most people don't know but in England you go to college at 16 or 17 and do a year or two there and then do the University for only 3 years starting at 18.  If you don't go the college route, you go to a Technical school to learn a trade.  This is all paid for by the UK system.

There are 21 year old High School and College teachers in the UK, because they have acclerated learning programs that work.

The American system is designed to hold you back.  To keep you out of the work force 2-3 years longer than is done in Europe.

Oxford University in England charges $3,000 a year and has a 6 year Medical Doctor program (after you do your 1-2 year college stint) that costs a student who lives nearby only $20,000 to become a doctor.  In America is an 8 year program that costs $100,000 to $500,000 to complete depending on if you go to private or public unversities.

And eveyrone rates Oxford as being the best university in the world!

Oxford also has Open University available to every UK citizen.

Answer 7

Another automatic eye roll here concerning the previous response that brought this question to your mind.

No, most people who send kids to public school had the same mind set that I had when I started my son in kindergarten.  It was the way it was 'supposed to be' thinking.   It took until he was in 3rd grade to realize that the classroom setting was not productive for his style of learning.   It took until 8th grade to convince his step-father, but we are homeschooling now and our son is learning.  

I think most parents choose public school because they are going with the flow.   They do not realize that there are alternatives to institutionalizing their children.

Answer 8

Little fish swimming upstream against big fish often have a harder time of it.  I know so many parents who say, "Wow!  Your daughter is getting a great education with homeschool, but I couldn't do it!"  And then I hear all the reasons they don't think they can, and even more sadly what is wrong with their kids' public schools.

It is the socially accepted norm for kids to go into a public or private school.  The teacher's unions and others have created this myth that homeschooled kids are maladjusted and unsocialized.  

All in all, it's work to homeschool and some parents can't or just don't want to do it.

Answer 9

Because all they want to do is "PICK ON HOMESCHOOLING"!!!..Which is ********!..My mother in law is doing this that!! Im sick of it.. Dont like it when everyone "puts Others down who want to homeschool their children"..vs..Public Schools..theres no reason why anyone shouldnt "homeschool" their children..I really want to..My husband sees "nothin wrong w/ public school"..I do..Theyve taken alot of awesome things that I adored when I went out of  the Public Schools that I want to teach my children Morals that pertain to Loving others, Reaching out to others..Besides "Being Selfish" , " Dont think of Others" attitudes..My four year old if he stays the way he is..He wouldnt even Comprehend...PUBLIC SCHOOL..thats why My mom and I would like to Homeschool..both of them..Want them to have the best of everything..I and my husband dont want to "go to the principles office on a daily basis because they "dont understand my sons behavior for example..or My boys "learning styles"...I was shaken by my second grade teacher because my "learning style didnt match her QUOTA"..;(. I remember that day totally and completely like it had "just happened to me"...Not a very nice memory of "public school" at all..Theres also hardly any "ONE ON ONE" in a Public School..Theres soooo many children these days in a class room < I feel sorry for all the public school teachers> "How can they all "KEEP UP" w/ all their students learning styles when theres so many students in their class room and expect them to keep up w/ all the Curriculum..that they have to TEACH!!...One of my best friends , her son is very hard to "teach"..and shes constantly Dealing w/ "Conferences" w/ teacher on "Her childs learning style"..that is what caused me to really think about my children..I feel that as long as Children that are being HOMESCHOOLED are getting their "SOCIAL" skills along w/ their ACADEMICS. Plus there are things that I dont want my boys to experience that happen at public schools..now days..Theres so many things I could list here..Id be here all day..LOL..I totally Agree W/ this Question...God bless..;)

Answer 10

Many parents don't consider homeschooling because it's not something that's been happening in their family.  It's like public school is the "normal" thing to do.  Most don't question the education their children receive until the children are doing poorly, unfortunately.

Answer 11

Well DHC, my house did not and does not have a lab, I never took Biology in high school, but unlike nintey-seven percent of the students in my college bio class and lab, I got an 'A'.  And I was the only one that had never taken a biology class or lab.  Go figure.  We also live in an area with excellent schools.  Our school district is the only 'star' school disctict in the state (whatever that means.)  And yet, the year I graduated only a handful of public schooled kids from our district were accepted into well known schools.  Out of my graduating homeschool class of 125, fifteen  kids were accepted into top colleges across the country, most with scholarships or full rides.  Those are pretty good odds for the homeschoolers.  ;)  I personally am glad to be among them.  Anywho, your statement about there being a 'few circumstances' to homeschool a child gives me the impressions that to you there are many reasons not to homeschool and as a homeschoolers, I just don't see how that could be.

I know this is 'backwards' thinking in our day and age, but I can't help but notice that most people don't know what to do with their children.  So they send then to school everyday so 1) they do not have to deal with them, 2) they can focus on their careers and makes lots of money, 3) their child can be educated by 'professionals', 4) their child will learn behavioral skills from thirty other kids who all have the socialization skills of an animal.  It was so depressing to hear all my students parents complain over the holiday that they couldn't wait for their child to go back to scool!  Good grief!  My family was always upset when someone would miss a recital or baseball game and these parents can't wait to ship their kids off again.  Parents are way too involved with their careers and buying the bigger SUV/house/plasma TV.  They work overtime to 'provide' for their family but don't take time off to spend quality time with their family.  You only need to look at standardized test scores to realize that being educated by 'professionals' won't get you anywhere.  It's the kids that are being educated by their parents that are getting the top scores.  Again, I can't help but notice that group discussions in my college classes are usually led by me and the teacher.  The 'socialized' public schoolers are always the last to speak up.  No joke.

Answer 12

A vocal portion of the homeschooling community is homeschooling due to religious reasons. They are homeschooling not because public education is bad, but because they do not agree with what is being taught in public schools. They want to control what their children learn. This can result in gaps in a child's education as well as a lack of ability to get along with people outside of their religion/community.

There's nothing wrong with homeschooling. Some children do much better with individual attention and flexibility than they would in a traditional classroom. It's the vocal minority who make people question whether homeschooling does more harm than good.

Answer 13

For many, public school is simply the path of least resistance. They choose it for their kids because they did it and their parents did it and ...

I think many people do not question the decision. "It is just the way things are done."  So... many do not really even have a considered reason.  They don't even make a decision - it is the default option.

Back when I was teaching in the P.S., the only parents that would show up during parent teacher conferences were the parents of kids who did well.  The parents I really needed to spend some time with never showed up.

And some kids sadly have a miserable home life.  I was speaking to a teen girl in the hallway at ps once... the forecast included lots of snow... I said something like "yay - we'll probably get a snow day tomorrow."  The girl responded: "I hope not I hate being at home."  This is a girl that had what appeared to be cigarette burns on the underside of one of her arms (I reported it but nothing was done).

Many start the homeschool decision (or other alternative) making process only after the reality of public schooling hits them hard and personally.

Ramble....

***UPDATE --- timely and relevant quote:

"Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."  - MLK, Jr.

Answer 14

Alot of people think that homeschooled children will not get the same education that a child going to a public school would. In my opinion it really depends on where you live. If you live in a place where the schools are bad or to rough for the kids to go, then yes I would home school them. I have 3 boys which 2 are in public school. Public schools are good, because the give your child the social skills he or she will need later in life. Now don't get me wrong I have several friends that were home schooled and they turned out fine. If it were my choice I would do what is best for the child not the parents.

Answer 15

I think there are.  I have friends  who continually bring up a situation with their daughter (11th grade), as she is being bullied to the point of violence on almost a daily basis.  She is so stressed that she's having medical problems, yet all the school can do is give the bullying girl and her friends a "warning" until something happens that is punishable by law.

There have been homeschooling families, close friends of theirs, who have even offered to take on their daughter for the remainder of the year; her grades are slipping and she is behaving erratically.  Yet, they choose to keep her in there because the "high school experience" is so very important to her future ability to socialize and work as part of a team.  (Wow...)

That just blows my mind...where in the work world, ministry world, or any other facet of the "real world" would that experience come in handy?  Unless she's planning to marry an abusive husband, nowhere.  Meanwhile, everyone sees this beautiful, bright girl slipping further into failure because she can't focus on anything but staying safe for long enough to get it done.

Answer 16

Ah public school, the great dumping ground for parents who think they deserve 6-7 hours off from parenting each weekday!!  Now thats as big a generalisation as the "all homeschooled kids are anti-social freaks" argument.  Amusingly enough I have had public-school parents insist that by homeschooling my daughter I am insinuating that they dont love their kids!  That one really had me rolling on the floor laughing.  Stop insulting me, I will stop insulting you!!

*Thanks Glurpy for yet again putting how I feel into words, so much better than I could!!*

Answer 17

Precisely!

I saw that answer and had an involuntary eye-roll over it myself.