Are there problems you can't fix?

Question

I've been with my boyfriend for a while, he...Has alot of issues with his dad. His dad use to abuse him and his mom. He kicked them out of their house and left them homeless. His dad is also a drug addict and alcoholic. We're both 15 by the way. My boyfriend also DOES drink & does drugs (I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree?) And I can HONESTLY say I love him (I know some of you think i'm too young to understand what that is). Trust me though, I KNOW that I do. We're both VERY mature for our age, because of the hardships we've faced. I always...Try to help him get over his dad, and past...BUT HES SO ANGRY. He told me that "It's something you can't fix". Is it truly something he can't get over? Or is this something he'll conquer as he matures?

Answer 1

it is something that only he can fix. and eventually he will have to deal with it somehow and get the anger out of his life or it will ruin his life

Answer 2

Yeah, he can only fix his problems himself..if someone doesn't want to change they wont.

Answer 3

There is nothing that can't be fixed if we learn to forgive and forget.  None of us is perfect, we all make mistakes.  If we are mature enough to realize this, then any problem can be fixed.

I know that a mother's love is unconditional and I would think a father's would be also.  Children should have that same unconditional love for their parents.

We wonder why we have wars, why all the countries can't get along together.  Why would we question the fact that we never will?  When families can't even get along.  Family members are suppose to love each other, protect each other, and help each other. Therefore if families can't get along and forgive and forget, how do we expect countries to.  

You said your boy friend was an alcoholic and also takes dope like his father.  If he is doing the same thing his father is, then why can't he forgive his father when you are sticking by him?

They both need help to clean their life up so that they might can fix things up between them.  Maybe the son can go to his father and tell him that he has the same problem with alcohol and dope and ask him to go with him to be dried out  or where ever you can go to get help.

This is your life, it is not a dress rehersal, this is the only life we are going to have.  

Your boy friend is only 15 years old.  Unless he seeks help now, he will be just like his father.  Who is going to help both of them get their life back?  Do you know of a family member that is not an alcoholic or on drugs that will try to help them by getting them the help they need?

In order for their personal problem to be fixed, they have to fix what caused their problem - alcohol and drugs.  There is help out there if they want help.  But someone has to convence them that they want help, they want a better life.

Answer 4

Hi... While it's true your boyfriend can't fix his dad or change the past, he certainly can change his own life... doing this takes a lot of work and effort... and realizing that, what happened during his childhood was in no way his fault.

I'm sorry to hear he's on the same path as his father.

Your boyfriend can attend Alateen meetings, which is a support group for teens whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking. I have also listed a website for them below.

Alcoholism affects everyone negatively.  Not only is the alcoholic ill, but family members and others who are affected by someone else's drinking can become "ill" as well.

Your guy will find a lot of help and support and hear stories that mimic his own life.

I hope he tries it, for his own mental health and sanity.

sending all best wishes

Answer 5

You aren't part of the family, that's why he's trying to keep you out of something that is his problem and his life.

It's called 'protection,' if I recall correctly.