Are these lyrics good?

Question

i wrote these and i was wondering if its good or not. be honest:

1st song no title:

you said all our love died

and it would never be the same,

then why did i have to cry

from all ur foolish games

you said that you loved me

then you go and turn your back

well, i dont really care no more

so im gonna say go ahead pack

ill walk u out the door

cuz i really dont wanna see your face

round here anymore

you completely shut me out

out of ur day

and u didnt have a doubt

just get out of my way

2nd song not done:

i cant get my mind blank

it just doesnt work

im missing u so much

and u no it hurts

i know thats its a little messy and not in order so ill try to fix it into more of a song version but there isnt really versus or choruses its just one whole song. im not done yet so dont worry, just tell me any sugestions u have

thx

Answer 1

Things to keep in mind: lyrics that are too descriptive, become very stale and boring very quick, from the first paragraph I knew exactly what the entire thing was about without having read it yet. The lyrics themselves aren't too bad, but you don't have to give everything away.

here is an example from a song with the same kind of meaning

"I followed the waves to you,

I cannot see it through

But my heart lies to you

You'll never have me true"

I find what makes lyrics more fun, is them having a certain meaning,, but are written in such a way, that they could be interpreted dozens of different ways.