What is the difference between men and women
Q: What is the difference between men and women..
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A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
The Man Of Your House
The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "You Can Be The Man Of Your House."
He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert."
After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of s*x that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
The wife replied, "The funeral director would be my first guess."
Wifes Birthday
A man asked his wife, "if you could have anything in the world for one day, what would you want?"
"I'd love to be eight again," she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear, everything there was! Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Off to McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Big-Mac along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie - the latest Hollywood blockbuster, hot dogs, popcorn, Pepsi and M&M's. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed. He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well dear, what was it like being eight again?"
One eye opened. "You idiot, I meant my dress size."
The moral of this story is - If a woman speaks and a man is actually listening, he will still get it wrong.
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