Are these quotes you'd live by????

Question

"Love is Grand, Divorce is 20 Grand"

"I gave up smoking, drinking AND s*x! ......... it was the worst 15 minutes of my life"

"No machine can replace me until it learn to drink"

"s*x is like a bank....... Soon as you withdraw, you lose interest"

"My wife ran off with my best friend....... And i miss him"

"Love your neighbour........ But dont get caught"

"Dont drink and drive...... You might hit a bump and spill your drink"

:) good day everyone!

Answer 1

h**l no because these are an silly qoutes and here it is the really nice qoutes :

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.





THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.







FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.





FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.





SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.





SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.





EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.







NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.



TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.





ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.



TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.





THIRTEEN! . When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'





FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.





FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.





SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.





SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.





EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.





NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.





TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.





TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.  

Answer 2

No. Very trashy and classless

Answer 3

No, but veryy funny, heheheh

Answer 4

cant say they apply to me  but i did think they were funnnny

Answer 5

h**l no, these quotes are the dumbest things my eyes have ever read!